I know this particular friend of mine does not read my blog so let’s gossip away. But if he ends up reading this, you and I are in trouble. Ehn, lets dive in.
So we got chatting sometime last week when he told me about the new babe in his life, how the love is doing him strong thing, how the lady loves him so much and he is having a good time but they can’t get married. The Amebo in me typed “why?” and he said, she is a Muslim and I am a Christian. According to what he told me, a Muslim Lady cannot marry a Christian man but a Muslim man can attempt marrying a Christian Lady. See ehn, that part of the gist is very confusing to me but let’s not get into it. He however said he is in “love” with her and she wants to have his baby. So I asked, “after the baby what else?” He said nothing. “I love her plus she wants this and I want it too”… The message was followed by screenshots.
After reading the screenshots I asked three questions at the same time:
Is this what you want?
To spread your seeds around?
Na so your papa take get am?
He responded to the last question saying he doesn’t know about any other children of his father from any other woman but he can only vouch for himself. Also stating clearly that HE CAN TAKE CARE OF THE KID. Money speaking… He also admitted that he thinks his dad is having a peaceful life with his immediate family compared to other people he knows. (Thankfully)
Because I never know how to sugarcoat things which is why I have very few friends, I told him as it is. Here are things to consider before becoming a baby daddy especially when it is by CHOICE & not by CHANCE:
Do you plan to get married?
If your answer to the above question is yes, then what exactly is the aim of becoming a baby daddy? How will the relationship with this child’s mother and child be handled? How will your future wife take it? Will it make you lose a potential wife? Say the potential wife doesn’t mind, how will this baby mama act? Will she understand her place and not try to sabotage your home? Are you doubly ready for drama in your life? Let’s face it, humans are not drama free. While it’s possible to stumble on few dramas even when you try so hard to avoid them, deliberately walking into drama is not the best option either.
What’s your Inclusion plan?
Your child, how will he or she be included without feeling left out? Is that even possible? We are humans.
Having a child is not bad but I believe when it’s by choice and not by chance, we should think deep and be sure we are ready to face whatever comes with it while trying to create a balance. I am not a fan of bringing a child into the world when you do not plan to be a good father. I was brought up by a single mother who became single because my dad passed away, I know how strong a person I have always been and though I turned out good (tell me if you think otherwise), I can sincerely tell you I miss having a father figure in my life. I also would not want to deliberately put a child through that except life deals me that hand.
Being a baby daddy is becoming common and really not a big deal nowadays, however, when you want to walk down that road, I employ you to think hard and good while considering the type of family you want to have? How you want your children to relate with each other? The inclusion and your relationship with them.
Mind you, this post as already stated, is for men who deliberately choose having baby mamas not when it happens by chance.
By the way, do you have a copy of my book? What are you waiting for? GET YOUR COPY HERE
Nice one. Am thinking about that now
These are the questions that I asked my friend too when we had this talk.
How many women will agree to become baby mamas without having any leftover affection for the man?
Why not just get married and have all your children experience the benefit of having one big family?
I used to want to have a child outside wedlock but I soon realised that it was a very selfish decision to do so intentionally.
This is nice!
i sometimes wonder how easy women feel it is t become a baby mama for a man without being somewhat emotionally attached.
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