After years of being in a relationship, it’s natural to expect your partner to want to take it to the next level. However, so many ladies find themselves in dead-end, long-term relationships with men who aren’t ready to commit to the next step. There are so many reasons why this can happen, I’ll mention few and I want you to take note of them!
5 Reasons He Is Not Proposing
1. It is now more socially acceptable to co-habit than it used to be:
Many partners think that they will first try out living together and if it works, they’ll get married. Like I was telling someone a day before yesterday, you’re there washing his clothes, cooking his food, cleaning the house, attending his family functions, doing this and that, performing wife roles and you still expect him to propose? You’re already giving him all he needs to long for in marriage, therefore the urge to propose will diminish. You wanna prove to him you can wash and you can take care of the home? Good! Take for instance he comes visiting you, some guys sweat a lot thereby making their handkerchief dirty. He brings it out to clean his face or neck, why not collect it and wash it for him? A responsible man should appreciate such lady who takes note of even the smallest things. How organized is your own apartment? It is not until you go arrange his own house before he can tell if you’re a home maker! Don’t be beguiled!
2. He may fear that he does not “have what it takes”:
Ladies, you can help him in this aspect. Let him see you as a supporter, praise him even when he’s not forth coming; I know this can be difficult but it’s worth your effort if you love him, help him to know you’re satisfied with him genuinely. The goal here is to create a relationship that is good for both of you, where both of you feel safe, both of you feel your needs are met and both of you feel that the things you’ve compromised on are worth it, because of what you stand to gain in return. He is then more likely to feel ready to make the commitment.
3. He may have commitment phobia or want to enjoy single life as long as he possibly can:
Perhaps he is holding out just in case there is a ‘Miss More Perfect’ out there! Guys are competitive and territorial by nature (I hope I won’t be crucified with this *smiles*). They value things that they have to work hard for, especially if it’s something that someone else wants. But you don’t need to be unnecessarily hard or difficult, apply wisdom. ‘Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding’ (Prov.4:7). So maintain a little mystery about yourself and don’t be overly available. By living an interesting life, that includes investing your time in meaningful activities and friendships will give you a sense of value and power within yourself and make you more alluring to him.
4. Money, money, money:
He may be holding off with the proposal until he can provide the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood along with all the perfect decor trimmings and trappings of success. He’s scared you may leave when he’s not making money! Of a truth, everybody wants good things of life but we can go about it wisely. Ladies, don’t be money conscious, so many have lost their Mr. Right because he’s not in money now! What makes you think he won’t have tomorrow? Check out his vision, his plans, see if it fit in with yours, and you can grow together with it, then with God, sky is the starting point! Therefore, make him know you’re not on the lookout for the perfect rich handsome dude that will promise you everything but you want the simple dude that won’t promise anything but tries his best to do everything.
5. He can get sex more easily today than in times past:
The problem is summed up in an old saying “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?” Sex should be on the shortlist of those things held in reserve. Remember ‘Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.’ Heb. 13:4. If there is nothing that he doesn’t know about you, experience with you or share with you, he has no motivation to commit to you. Don’t give him the benefit of a Husband! Thou shall not allow him taste you before walking you down the aisle.
Most importantly, do not force any man or rush any man into making commitment, he’s either yours or not yours. He owns the rope, let him tie it when and where he likes!
Written by Adebowale Oluwatoyin