One of the debates on social media in recent times has once again been tilted to who is more superior; The Virgin or the sexually active lady? Some are of the opinion (as archaic as it may seem) that virgin ladies make better wives than non-virgins. Following the argument closely made me chuckle as some men categorically said they really don’t have the patience of being with a virgin. Some group of people, however, stated that the peace in a relationship or that of a home does not have anything to do with the sexual experience or (as the case may be) inexperience of a woman, rather about character, understanding and compatibility. It simply means a lady who is still a virgin may and can be the wrong choice if there is lack of character, understanding and zero compatibility.
Of course, some had to push their opinion to the other side – who is checking to make sure a man remains a virgin? Why bother about what a lady does with her private organs while men get a pass. If the lady’s ability to be good person can be placed on her sexual choices, why aren’t we doing same for men? If we must constantly advice girls to close their legs, why are we not telling boys to zip up?
A virgin is simply defined as someone who has never had sex. However, the definition is not quite as straight as it seems. Virginity can mean different things to different people. It could mean the ability of keeping the hymen intact while one gets involved and gets pleasure in and from other sexual activities.
Few years ago, I had a conversation with a friend’s mentor where we spoke about the concept of being chaste and being pure. Albeit our conversation being largely based on Christianity, he noted that so many people can remain chaste but how many are truly pure? He went on to say that the most important thing for a human being, be you a man or a woman is the ability to remain pure and good. It’s not about your body count (or lack of it), it’s about your heart. Are you good? Do you put others first in your decision making? Are you greedy? Selfish? Do you derive joy from hurting people? How sincere are you? Are you a hypocrite or do you practice what you preach?
Instead of wasting our time on needless debates, I suggest we start having proper conversations with our boys and girls, men and women. Teach them the consequences of their sexual activities. Let them know all there is to know on sexual health and awareness. Teach them to be good people. Then Let them choose their sexuality while having all the necessary information they need.
No reasonable being cares about classifying any human as Virgins or None Virgins. We are working together to make Nigeria and the world a better place. We need to good people everywhere – in our day to day activities and our relationships, Not Virgins.
Image source – Medium.com