This past weekend was a fun one for me; I rested well, visited friends and had a really long walk on the beach.
How was yours? I hope you had fun too or at least, rested well. It’s Monday and I know most of us are getting busy trying to make our hustle pay but please do take it easy on yourself and learn to balance it all properly.
So over the weekend, two things happened which reminded me of the trauma I carry around. No, my life is not perfect and yes, I am human. So shall we discuss already? Thank you.
My Traumatic Experiences
I was talking to my friend about rain and how I feel about heavy storms when it dawned on me that I actually do have a trauma that I have not done anything about. At the age of 13 or there about, I was home with my mother and siblings when our house collapsed during a heavy downpour, surviving that incident was a miracle and I have not stopped thanking God for saving me. When looking at the section where and how the collapse started, you’d understand that I was at the most dangerous spot in the house. At some point, the search team thought I was dead and was only looking forward to see my body but low and behold, I walked out of it alive and healthy. I will probably share that story sometime soon but then, I realised that each time it is about to rain, because I have always loved the rain and the calmness that comes after it, before the incident, I get really excited but when the rain gets heavy and consistent for a period of time, I begin to panic. I start worrying and praying for the shelter not to collapse.
Secondly, I was with my friend yesterday when she received a call about a friend of hers losing her mother. I was numb, I did not feel anything. I was rather in the mood to see a movie than feel the pain. It’s rather easy for me to feel a person’s pain if s/he lost a friend, a child or say we lost a celebrity I adore but tell me you lost your mom or Dad, I feel nothing. I just feel, ‘oh, I also lost my parents…pele, you will be alright finally’: cold right? I am sorry. The best I can do is understood that you are in pain, a pain that may not heal forever and that I need to give you time to come to terms with your new reality. I tend to want to start sharing my experience with you and things I think you are likely to experience after the empathy rush from the so called ‘good intentioned people’.
Don’t worry, even if you are around me while any of the above incident is going on, you most likely will not notice as I have mastered the act of comporting myself in these situations in a way that it doesn’t affect the next person.
According to Wiki, Psychological trauma is a type of damage to the mind that occurs as a result of a severely distressing event. Trauma is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. A traumatic event involves one’s experience, or repeating events of being overwhelmed that can be precipitated in weeks, years, or even decades as the person struggles to cope with the immediate circumstances, eventually leading to serious, long-term negative consequences.
Trauma differs between individuals according to their experience and our reactions and the way we get over the events differ. However, one thing I know that can be of help no matter the situation or circumstance one may find his/herself is accepting the fact that it is what it is. Denial helps no one and as long as we live, events will keep happening that will shape our thoughts and lifestyle.
You may feel that my kind of trauma is fair and that I can get by even without seeing a therapist, very true. But this does not make it less of a trauma and does not mean that I do not need to see a therapist when I have the necessary resources to do so.
Most people will experience traumatic events at some point in their lives, it is absolutely normal. It can be in different forms, from relationships to general lifestyle. What are you going through? What is that experience that keeps re-playing itself mentally or physically? Admitting whatever it is you go through to your loved one or family will be the first step to getting help and also help them understand you better.
Relationships are built on acceptance and understanding. You must help people around you understand you in order to accept you while we all work at being better people.
Embrace your flaws, weaknesses and hold on to your strength. That’s what being human is all about.
You can share your experience with us in the comment section or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org Its okay to go through whatever you are going through.