#BlogFest #50DaysCountDownTo2015 – Day 15. Written by @mchantel , she blogs at www.mchantella.blogspot.com
You check who he has followed on Instagram, twitter, Facebook or WeChat or who commented on his picture. Who his new followers are, what his saying on there. Whose picture is he liking? Slow down please. Do you have so much time on your hands?
Everyone snoops every now and then but women in general are the natural snoopers. The real FBIs. Why does the compulsion to snoop through a man’s phone come up so consistently? Women tend to feel their spidery senses tingling from time to time and in most cases, rather than ask, they’re mentally strategizing how and when they can get their hands on their man’s phone.
Although to be fair, it’s not like if you ask he would be honest but ask anyway. But still why go looking for what’s not missing? No matter how long you guys have been together, it’s NEVER okay for you to go through his phone! Trust me it’s never a good idea.
You know the popular saying: ‘seek and you would find’. If you are looking for something bad, Darling that is what you will find. People choose not to look through their partner’s cell phone because they have no desire in finding anything that would mess up the relationship. It’s not necessarily trust, it’s more like avoidance.
For some people, their phones are their lifelines e.g. ME. That means everything you’d want or need to know about his comings and goings are in his phone. Unless his smart enough to delete whatever he doesn’t want you to see. It’s understandable if his behaviour has changed suddenly. I mean you’d be curious to know why. But going through his phone shouldn’t be a standard practice, nor should it be accepted as such.
If you have the urge to snoop, ermmmm let me kindly announce to you that your problems are bigger than what may (or may not) be on his phone. Privacy is something we fight for all of the time. The interesting thing about time and relationships is that the truth would always reveal itself. By invading his privacy, you’re taking away a fundamental expectation that’s normal to have.
Something you also need to consider is, if you are going through his phone, you’re admitting that the relationship is void of open communication. Yes men cheat. Agreed. But for most men, when they are in love and happy where they are, the risk isn’t worth it.
Let’s forget about the trust factor and put it this way instead; if you can’t talk to your partner honestly and take his word on its face value, is that someone you really want to be with at all?
Also think about the disappointment of going through his phone and not finding anything. In essence, you have alienated him, and likely turned off the open door policy that could’ve existed. Men aren’t that completely aloof. They know that us asking to see their phone is a test.
But also know that they can’t un-ring a bell. Asking him to go through his phone is subliminally saying ‘I don’t trust that I’m enough for you’ or simply ‘I don’t trust you’. When that invasion of privacy occurs, you’ve opened Pandora’s Box.
Bottom Line: don’t go through his phone even if you have the basis to. If your suspicions of wrong-doing are that strong, trust your intuition.
As always stay beautiful.
Also read ‘GIVE UP ON LOVE AND GIVE UP ON YOURSELF’ by Chantel
Written by Chantel, twitter- @mchantel