The Ring Rush

5 reasons he is not proposing

We live in a society where the respect accorded to a woman is directly proportional to her marital status. They fondly say “woman wey no get husband dey suffer”and this notion has driven and is still driving women into doing anything possible to get a man hooked. Whether we agree or not, a sub-conscious part of us wants to know if a woman we come across today (mostly in doing business) is married or not to determine what kind of treatment should be accorded to her.

Likewise, women who would say to you they don’t care about marriage would not mind having a contract marriage with some young dude only to divorce within a year or two just to have attained the once married status. I see women would proudly tell you they are divorced rather than ‘I have never been married before’. Not that I have a problem with a woman being divorced but I am sure you get my drift.

In this part of the world, once a lady approaches the age mark of 25, people intentionally or unintentionally demand marriage from her not caring to know if this is what she wants for herself, if she has found the right one for her or even how she copes with every other thing she has going on in her life. All they want to know or hear is you are married. Happily or not happily married, it doesn’t concern 95% of them.

This attitude has caused the unhappiness written all over the faces of most spinsters. They are almost conscious of every single good looking dude out there thereby making it easy for them to be deceived. It is said that when a person knows what you mostly desire then luring or deceiving you shouldn’t be difficult especially for the intelligent ones. You tend to believe every word fractioned to lead you to that destination (in this case – getting married)

Marriage being a thing of joy and a life time process as the case maybe is not something a woman should rush into ( rush in and rush out ). I dare say a failed marriage is far worse than a failed relationship. You wouldn’t need me going into the effects of divorce on the children although this doesn’t mean a woman cannot head out of marriage when all odds are against it but she must have tried, endured and persevered before taking such decision.

As much as getting married is a good thing, I would employ the young ladies out there to look out for their Mr. Right Compatible. We all are created in unique ways, our tolerance level differs, and so does our intelligence, knowledge and actions. Having a partner who compliments you and supports your person and career could be the beginning of the best part of your life. Do not allow the time frame set by “we don’t know who”, determine your happiness and pace in life. Clam down the rush for the ring.

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8 comments

  1. This babe has turn to preacher, so I am left with two words…AMEN SISTA!Preach on, as I don pass the 25 mark and I am still unmarried, I must say the chase is still exciting!

  2. Yay!!! My mama is a celeb! Her words are on elsieisy. Lol. True though. I have told a couple of people that i am building myself. I wanna get married but it has to be at the right time; when I am ready. Society finds it weird that i don’t even have a boyfriend but then….who cares?

  3. It is very common for humans to adapt to societal expectations because it is easier to go with the wave than to go against it. Most women/men simply haven’t got the confidence in their individuality to go against the norm. It is a real serous issue that the value of the Nigerian woman remains invalid until there is a man to sign her off. And women don’t help each other by reinforcing these ideas. It is well, slowly but surely all this would change. Our time go don pass sha lol

  4. Due to societal pressure….alot of people succumb to these pressures because we don’t have the courage to fight the norm…God have mercy on us

  5. Funnily no one is talking about the fact that it is the ladies who always rush men into marriage and not vice versa. Because whether we like it or not women has “marrigeable” age unlike men. Again the reason being that men has no worries over menopause.That said and done, marriage is not an end, it is a mean to an end. The end of any relationship is mutual satisfaction of all parties involved. Any relationship that does not seem to offer you that satisfaction in the long run is not worth it. My opinion though. Thank you.

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