Ladies who only discuss “boys” have got to go!

Hello my lovers. How are you today?

A saying goes that when two, three or more girls/ladies/women cluster, they are probably gossiping about their extended friends, talking fashion or discussing fellas (’em boys).

If you expect me to call that claim bogus, then I am sorry to disappoint you. Its 95% true.

Most females are guilty of this. I am no exception (Me sef follow). There was a point in my life when the only topics hot enough to discuss were any or all of the above. I was well versed and focused on this routine, much more than on my assignments and chores. I could say I was just having fun but I was also very young, naïve and impetuous in a very subtle manner.

However, a time came when I pulled a chair, sat my butt down and began to think things through.

I thought of my past, focused on my present and projected upon the future. I pondered where I would want to be in five years. Then I tried to figure out if my daily itinerary was positively contributing to achieving this goal. That was when I realized I was on a veeeerrrryyyy long thing ( sleeping on okada).

You can’t rise above three to five people you regularly associate with or (you can’t rise above your companions) this is not always the case except you can prove it

Don’t get me wrong o, as women, it’s natural and normal for us to discuss these things (friends, fashion, men), but when it becomes the only type of conversation you have in the sort of gathering you keep, then you should worry.

At age 18, I believe there should be more depth to the kind of conversation you have. If all you talk about with your girlfriends is how you dated Segun, dumped Tunde, Chopped Emeka’s money and stood Musa up, then you should ask yourself where those empty achievements will get you.

It’s time for you to start having meaningful conversations that point towards your goal and ambitions in life. You’ve got to aim higher, talk intelligently and pick ideas from your conversations. You can’t be talking men and the likes and expect to develop your ideas from such discussions. Well, except your line of profession relates to servicing male clients (if you know what I mean), you should have passed that level by now.

Look for people that are intelligent, people that have similar ideologies, goals and visions. Whose orientation tally with yours. People who see the need to work hard at whatever profession or market they have chosen.

Right now I am enjoying my set of friends. Whether it’s a phone convo, BBM chat, Facebook, Twitter or social media shout, we are focusing on the next break in the field we’ve chosen. I am either asking my friend or acquaintance to help me on something I really don’t understand or getting the next big idea for a blog post or a business venture and vice versa.

You might feel these things don’t matter but trust me; you are nourishing or stunting your sub-conscious being without knowing it.

Also learn to read books that are in line with that career you have chosen. This is one area I am struggling to overcome but I’m on course. I am still trying to figure out if I am better off reading from my PC or if a hard copy (Old fashioned way) will do the magic. While i’m still at it (trying to figure it out), I make sure to read something about my field each time I go online. No matter how short the article is. This is how to improve

Bottom-line is, watch the company you keep and the buddies you follow. They will make you, keep you stagnant or break you.

It doesn’t mean we ladies will stop discussing men and fashion, it only means we have grown in maturity to understand that there are more important things to talk about 1st before chipping in the less important ones.


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  1. Lemme see, at the age of 18…I was hoping to get married to a rich fool who would take care of all my needs…very shallow dream.Thank God for a dad who saw something bigger in me.The company you keep really matters, which is why I advocate have a zillion wealthy friends…so that the wealthy spirit will rub off on you…enough of my jokes.Keep great friends who are forward thinking, read uplifting books and that’s a sure way to guarantee you always make great conversation.Trust Elsie to always point out the lessons…thanks for this boo!

  2. Such friends are hard to find. You can actually change the topic whenever its time to talk about guys,fashion or unnecessary gossip, you can change the topic to a better one. Maybe I will find an intelligent friend who’s thinking about attaining a better future someday cux most of my friends now ehn, are very shallow,dumb, and lazy. I do the work of changing them all the time. @ a point I get tired but what to do now. They might not be good in that aspect but I love them randomly for different things they do to me!

    1. oh my! they are not hard to find dear. you really should find an intelligent friend and also keep at trying to change your friends. but you know changing a person is not a child’s play, right? Good luck with that though. i also have such friends and i love them randomly but choose your friends and company with care

  3. Now that I think about it, I think my friends are pretty functional. Not like I have a lot of female friends but the ones I have don’t have fish brains (I am So proud of them right We actually talk about reasonable things!#sayNoToFishBrainedGirls!

    1. Must una start a hashtag everywhere? lol. Good for you. keep it up. Doesn’t have to be just girls though, i have awesome male friends too. I guess the article didn’t do justice to them, i apologize.

  4. You’ve done a fanstastic job with this one, no doubt. I keep all kinds of friends and believe me when I tell you that they all have their usefulness. The ones who talk about the female gender are the ones I run to for gossips and gist about any lady I require information about. The more intelligent ones show no interest in women or pretend not to. I love them so because I have their undevided attention whenever the need arises so you see, everyone and everything walks hand in hand. No point cutting anyone off if you know how shuffle in between. I don’t want to have it all and not know what’s happening in the social circle, hence I keep abreast of every situation with my friends who loves the female topics and those who discuss goals and ambition. BOTTOM-LINE: You can keep these two sets of people in your life and still become who you want to become.

    1. Thanks Larry. I get your point, we need them all but knowing where and when to draw the line is very important. thanks again.

  5. yessssss! finally someone voices out on this. PEOPLE if your friends are not adding positively to your life then now will be the right time to Runnnnnnnnnnnnnn! life is to short to discuss frivolities. wake up, smell the coffee and create a niche for your self that is not boys boys boys related.

    1. Hehehehe. You know that’s my job. If I don’t talk about those things you all don’t want to talk about, who will? 😀

  6. I believe the saying ‘show me your friends and i’ll tell you who you are’ is not just one off those clichés. Guys should also take a cue from this write up cos I know few that all they discuss is where to go and drink and ladies they have slept with. One shouldn’t be caught hanging around such people…… Nice one Elsie!

    1. Thanks for that one Mariam. Guys should watch it too. Those kinda gathering that has nothing to good to say about women. Thanks again

  7. Elsie have come again oh… C how u r just casting all of we … I mean all of us …*str8 face*Buh atimes pple needto take a chill pill and on their own re-access their OWN contribution to a certain friendship.That concept sure helps buh some peeps can just float n be existing just for the sake of it … Nice article…. Please can I join ur new league of friends *winks*SpiritMan Speaks

    1. lmao @ “floating and existing just for the sake of it” lol. thanks spiritman but this your name alone wont allow us be friends o. sprirtman kwa?.

      1. No nah It shudnt be all abt d name… Trust me behind that name is a cool headed smooth guy … Elsie accept jooh

  8. Great read! Salient points articulated! I’m even impressed with the comments coming from the ladies. It works for the male species too if you turn it around. Kudos to the #womenfolk focused on the future!

  9. Interesting piece from Elsie …Many friends shud bear tis in mind everytime,I get to c some frienships based only on catching fun(sadly) n nothing more.With tis article peeps can think about not just d present but d future n life time as well … Gerry Bond

  10. Every Dog has got it’s day, Don’t underrate don’t know where your help will come from!After all God will not come down and bless man,he will surely send man to bless man..the main focus is making money and be successful,if you talk about men all day and you still getting paid well and good..just try and make money from your passion.Poverty,religion and morals really shaping the way we think..You can be a professional gambler,be wise about it and make point is priority with everybody because that’s what life is all about..

  11. True babes….but all the same still keep such friends and also focus on what’s important.thank God you are an amazing friend and I’m proud to have you as one,not like the ones that talks only about guys…lol

  12. At this age, discussing men is a No No..even SOME of my very close friends tire for the matter sef..?? so if you come with your plenty man talk all the time, abeg waka go

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