Dear Elsians,
I need your help with deciding what to do. I met a guy a couple of months ago after getting out of a bad relationship and we hit it off almost immediately. We shared similarities and he seemed very honest and kind, and I began to feel things I hadn’t felt in over a year after my last heartbreak. After a while we began to have sex, and he had convinced me that he was single and wasn’t interested in dating for the time, and I felt there was no need to rush things either.
After trying to no avail to protect my heart, I fell in love with him and it became difficult to stop talking to him. Eventually, I did get over him, and after about three weeks, I met another guy whom I liked. I was still visiting the first guy, and after one night of having a heart felt talk, I came on twitter two days after to discover he (the first guy) was engaged.
Right now I am feeling very used and lied to because it happens that he had been dating the lady he got engaged to for more than 3yrs and I was apparently merely a fling. He used me. I feel like telling the girl what I know about him just to pay him back… Sometimes I feel like cursing him for using me. What do I do?
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34 comments
He convinced you he was single, and wasn’t ready to date yet you had sex with him, now you say he used you, my dear he didn’t use you, you met anoda guy u like y do u still feel used? What you should do is move on and accept the fact that what u both had was a fling.
I totally agree with Tobi..he says he doesn’t want to date you but he finds you sexually attractive..its a lesson learnt. You’ve found someone else that you like, so stop feeling used and move on.. Too bad you were just a fling.. Pele oh :(..
In no use you oo my sister… You both got laid plus he didn’t promise you anything he said he ddnt want a relationship abi? So wetin u dey curse am for? It’s not like he said let’s date and u found out what you did. He politely asked u to be his Fuck mate and you concurred whose fault in be say your heart come dey mumu inself. Take heart my sister life is shitty like that sometimes besides you’ve moved on with another one though.. Better ask this one wella if na relationship in want abi na bedmate biko make we no dey complicate our lifes #DropsTheMicAndWalksAway
You need time to heal,starting another relationship 3 weeks after you ended one is not advice able. Seems Like you’re afraid to be alone.
Well, he lied and that was not good enough. But I do not think u have been used. Thank God you have someone you love now! It’s one of those things, let go and move on!
For the sake of sounding unkind, Tobiloba kinda spoke my heart.We all do things; unfair unkind things to each other as we grow in life. Sometimes intentionally – sometimes we cannot help ourselves. What to do?Keep Calm and Move On. Cursing him won’t make you feel better.
Let d guy go, but with my holy mind, ur next relationship,shine ur eyes well well, dont rush, take ur time, study him wella. gudday.am out of here.
Telling his girl will make no difference. Just move on.. Shikenah
Once beaten twice shy…..Always take things gradually…U did not fall in love with the first guy instead you were desperate to get anoda companion..
Twice beaten forever afraid
Leave de first guy buht shine ur eye b4 dating anoda.dnt b too fast 2 open ur leg 4 a man
If d biology n chemistry rhyme u dnt expect her nt 2 open it again
Well, life’s full of poo you know..we win some and lose some. It does seem to me though that you just wanted someone to have sex with, otherwise i don’t get why you’d repeatedly have sex with a man who’s made it clear that he doesn’t want a relationship. Sure, he lied but you made it convenient for him. You were readily available and you wanted what he wanted too..looks like a win-win to me. Just be sure not to freely give yourself to people in the future if there isn’t a clear definition of what you are doing.
Do things jejely
Did he molest you? No. Did he drug you? No. Did you enjoy the sex? Yes. Apparently, You both used yourselves. Sex between two consenting adults. There is nothing like used here. Fortunately, you like sex and you are to quick in jumping into sexship and opening your legs. Next time keep you legs closed, the way you met. Someone like you need license to engage in sex.
I think you should give yourself time to breathe. Enjoy the company of others and just live free. I understand your hurt though because sometimes a truckload of shit happens and it gets the best of us and we end up looking stupid. Just give yourself time to heal. Enjoy friendships, form bonds and let it become something beautiful….. Most importantly, conduct yourself in the best manner and fuck what everyone else says. Don’t let anyone make you think its a “free world” and so you can enter into unholy alliances without thinking of the consequences…. Stop judging yourself, move on.. God Bless.
He didn’t use u, cos he didn’t promise you anything. You were frivolous not to have found out more abt him before letting him in.. I’m very sure that even if u tell d lady he’s dating abt this, they will eventually sort it o. U sef issue, why are u complaining wen u’re already eyeing another guy.. Move on, and be sure this new one isn’t engaged too… Shikena…
tobiloba has said it all………………….if u tell d girl u r simply washing ur dirty linen in public. d bobo did not ask u out so there is no case.
judging by the story, he did not promise a relationship for sexual favours. You willingly agreed to be fuck mates with him. So, deal with that. Way I see it, you aren’t exactly bothered abt the sex…but about the fact you gave him outside the confines of a relationship which you so wanted but couldn’t get because He didn’t want it, but yet had a fiancee. For future purposes, do yourself a favour by hiring a private investigator for this new man befroe you settle for less. Shalom.
He didn’t use you. You were desperate for company,he cashed in on that. After all,it was a mutual consent.As regard telling his fiancee,it won’t cause anything,we guys have devised a way to explain that to our babes..Next time take your time,don’t jump into a relationship immediately after a breakup..
When u females say “guys used u”, when ona de make love, shey e de sweet ona two? What’s the use you there? You uses each other..
Thank God he not only used you, but he dumped you. Now move on with your life and don’t get used again..ok!
I really don’t understand this lady.You dated someone that really don’t want to date you,Ofcourse he said that from the onset.You fell in love with him,and left him cos you realise he isn’t real.You met another guy and started dating again.You went back to the first and probably cheated on the above guy you just met.And after some heart talks,he slept with you Ofcourse.He is engaged to the real thing in his life and you are asking wat to do to get back to him?My advice??START GETTING REAL!!!BULLSHIT!!!
lol.. Take t easy lyn.
Interesting
Believe it or not, all THE BATTLES OF LOVE ARE NOT ALWAYS WIN OR LOSE: YOU WIN SOME AND LOSE SOME. Take this as one of those lost battle of love and acceptance that will positively shape your future relationship.DON’T ATTRACTS THE LAW OF NATURE (CAMA) TO YOURSELF by scandalizing or blackmailing him, and or assassinating his image. Remember, you were just a free electrons, looking for a patron to pair with, and he was one. And yes, you enjoyed the chemistry. Thus, your sexship with him was based on mutual understanding. He told you his feelings from the beginning. Why the anger now??Advise yourself and move on.PEACE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank God u know on time, let him be and just move on. Telling d oda girl does not make any difference
Can someone please define “USED”…. Or is it the relationship I have with my tissue when in the toilet she speaks of??? I just tire for her sha.
I can’t help but laugh, tissue n human relationship, looooool, babe, it ws a mutual ride, he use, u use, anyways everybody plays d fool sometimes.
You both used each other, b. *Sigh* Not to be offensive or anything, but aren’t you already even? You’ve met another guy, you claim you’ve gotten over him, right? So, why still hang on to the past? Darling, move on in life. Why let one silly fling(which you probably both enjoyed)cause you ‘heartache’? Moreover, if you really fell for that ‘single but not interested in dating even if I wanna have your p*s*y’, well…you need to re-check things. I trust you’ll make the right decision though. 🙂
Too many of these stories now-a-days seff
It’z all bn said alrdy, A̶̲̥̅♏ sure Ɣ☺ΰ’Ђλ√ǝ qotten more than Ɣ☺ΰ askd 4,so it WȊ̝̊̅ℓℓ b A̶̲̥̅̊ bunch better if Ɣ☺ΰ let †ђξ sleepinq doq lie n move †ђξ hell on wit yah precious lyf #shine yah eyes incase of nxt tym#
He used you. He didn’t promise you anything. Be happy you met another guy. Accept the experience as a lesson and find out tactfully what the new guy is up to. Do it wisdom so you don’t look desperate. All the best.
I think the problem here is u falling in love with the fella. And u saying he lied to you is actually a lie, cos he told u striaght up he wasn’t looking to date! But if wat u are saying is that ooh he was economical wit the truth cos he didn’t tell u everything, den that’s fine…… Babe if a guy say “I LIKE u a lot, but I can’t make any commitment at the moment bla bla bla” interpritation…….. “Baby I like that ass, can I get a piece of the action, no strings attached”! ….. For crying out loud u found another dude na… Chooo! The guy can as well come and tell us ur cheating on him and he wants to tell this other dude…. Madam moral of the story; judge a dick well before u ride it, don’t jump on it cos u “FEEL” it might stay hard forever!…… Peace