I Just Want to Know
I met the most wonderful guy. Between the two of us, I don’t know who was crazier about the other, him or me. I was convinced this was a match made in heaven.
One fine day, we do the “truth or dare” game and I tell him all about my past, he handles it well. Then he says I am divorced and I have a 3 year old daughter. I just freaked out. All that was going on in my head at the time was this
1. My family will never accept him
2. Taking him for who is will come against my faith
But I could not bear the thought of losing him, so I did the next best thing. I cried. I forced him to take back all his said. I cried, beg and pleaded and he took everything back. That’s was a relief, and for a while it seems everything was back to normal, at least I thought so.
Something was not right, it seemed like we were drifting apart. I was doing all I could to see that the relationship was sealed with a marriage. I was convinced that he was my “THE ONE”. The only glitch was that no matter how hard I tried to hold it together, he tried just as hard to tear it apart.
At this point, I realized that all my preconceived objections, I was ready to fight it out; I was ready to face anyone that was going to come against our union, but there was a problem and I could not place my finger on it.
I could see the telltale signs, but I wasn’t ready to give up. He went as far as cutting me off for six months, but that wasn’t enough to tell me that play time was over. Then one day it sunk in. My unanswered phone calls were deliberate. He made a conscious effort to always stand me up on all our dates. I tried to figure out why, but no one was ready to tell me.
Then one day I discover he had someone else and till date, he has refused to say a word to me or pick my phone calls. I am tempted to think that he hates me. Everyone thinks I shouldn’t waste my time trying to figure out what happened. They say he has no regard for me, so there is no point finding out.
But how does one leave an unfinished book?
I know it’s over, but there is still this part of me that wants to know why and not just assume. There is also this part that wants to apologize. Or do I just do the same and hate him right back? I am so confused.
What do I do? I just want to know
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