I literally just got off my bed to my work table to put this down after watching a TikTok Video on Instagram by Naywa Zebian. Have you noticed how the progress or success of TikTok leveraged on its interaction with other platforms? Now that I am thinking about it, it speaks to the art of leveraging other platforms to actually build an owned platform or a reputable brand. Like a brand in a brand. Of course we see this every day and it should not be news for anybody but it is for some people. I have seen people try to build platforms independent of existing giants in the space and it failed woefully. Forgive me for digressing…like I said, this is an unedited post (Like I ever really edit any).
So back to the Tiktoke video i saw on instagram – click HERE to watch video. I will be nice to transcribe – below;
“Some people don’t value you unless they are afraid of losing you. While you might think that’s flattering, its actually quite insulting. Because if someone needs to fear losing you to see your value, then they are not going after you, they are going after the thrill of the chase. And the moment they sense that they have you, they will be gone”
After watching, I was happy. Because it is amazing to see someone else help you articulate how you feel about a certain thing. There are times you know how you feel about a thing, rule, practice…whatever, but you cannot explain it. You just tell people you don’t subscribe to the idea. And even when it feels like you are willing to succumb to their train of thought, you realize that you unintentionally chicken out because it isn’t working for you.
I have never been a fan of feeding the hunger for the thrill of chasing (arguably) in men. I had always said, ‘it doesn’t make sense to me’. Because if that thrill of chasing me is what keeps you on your toes, what happens when you have me (completely)? How do I feed your hunger for chasing? Are you a hunter? Oh well, I have heard some people describe men as Hunters especially when this type of conversation comes up.
I think that the way people connect for different relationships differ and if you have dated for a while, you might begin to understand your pattern. I know that I meet people that I can relate with on an intimate level once or twice a year. This has nothing to do with not going out or not giving people chances. Its more about not hanging around people for the sake of it and being able to stimulate my mind. If just anybody could date anybody then the concept of attraction, dating and even romantic love will be none existent. There is a reason your Mr. A & Mrs. A are together and I want to believe that they align in some ways. You cannot align with every opposite sex. We cannot all be attracted to each other except…anyone who is should be checked.
If you have been in a romantic relationship with than one person, you would agree with me that the beginning of those relationships were not the same. That’s also how I like to see dating and relationships. I am particular about being with someone who can stimulate my mind, someone I can learn a lot from/with, among other things. I also do have my physical trait preferences but I have realized that the physical traits can (sometimes) be secondary. Doesn’t mean they don’t play an important role but the mind keeps adrenaline going.
There are people who might have to go the extra mile to show you who they really are or for you to actually see them. But I will never be in the category of ladies who would lead a man on just to see him chase her down so he can hold her down. It wouldn’t make a good partner neither would it keep a partner.
I think living life freely and spontaneously has its highs and lows, same goes for playing by a certain rule book. And there is a stage you get to where you don’t have time to run so you can be chased. You just want to feel every emotion while be guided by your values. You just want to know what it is with a high level of sincerity and sense of purpose. Are we genuinely trying to work this up to the altar or are we accepting to playing with each other till whenever? If you like someone who you know is interested in you, I suggest you have conversations like adults – talk about your expectations. Ask the right questions and be sincere from day one. As much as you cannot be absolutely sure of the other person’s sincerity, ensure that you are sure of yours. Life is all about risks but he who comes into equity must come with clean hands.
There are people who following the so called ‘dating rules’ have worked for. There is nothing wrong with that. But like I said, what works for you? Logically? It is time for you to create your own rule book and play by it. That way, you are one step closer to be happy and living a life void of regrets.
What do you think?