The Ex Factor – 27

The Ex Factor - elsieisy blog

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There’s always light at the end of the tunnel… for tunnels that have an end.

“So you mean you wished I’ll never come back because you’re happy with Jay?”… “Why didn’t you tell me this before so I can disappear back to wherever it was I emerged from…?” Lizzy’s fiancé grumbled after Lizzy’s six or seven minute’s confession speech.

“Calm down bro.” Tunde cut in with a gesture. “This is why it’s called a confession. So that the air can be cleared and everyone can come clean without being chastised or crucified.”

Everyone nodded in unison.

“So who’s going in next? Tunde asked. I guess he was really enjoying his new role of the confession MC.

Everyone looked at each other. My eyes were slightly opened but no one could know and I guess they just carried on with the assumption that I was either asleep or just tired.

“I’ll go in next” Doc FM said looking down like he had been caught red handed with some illegal stuffs.

“Doc can’t have that much to say. I’m sure of that” I thought to myself and he truly didn’t. In no time he was through and I’m sure he did that to loosen the tight screw. So nobody would think they’ll leave the converted confession room without saying one thing or the other.

“I’ll talk next. But hope its having them effect on him?” Mikee looked around.

“Yes, I’m sure its having its effect.” The MC replied.

“So, I used to… and I mean used to have a crush on Titi but that’s where it stopped.”

Nobody spoke.

“Then ermm… what else? Oh boy!… I used to feel inferior to you guys and sometimes it tells on my attitude. That’s it.”

The silence that followed nearly made me deaf. For some reasons, I would’ve laughed even though nothing Mikee just said was actually funny but thank God for my condition. I’m sure neither Titi nor Dave saw that coming.

“Thanks Mike… So who’s next?”

“Me!” Kate and Titi answered at the same time.

“Now this is going to be interesting.” I thought.

“Ok you go first.” Kate said

Titi hesitated a while and began her confession that took around eight to nine minutes.

“I thought you said you stopped drinking!… Oh I can’t believe this.” Dave began ranting just as Titi said “I think that’s it”. “…And all the times with Jay. What were you thinking? Huh?!”… “Thank God for someone like this who won’t even give in to your temptations, despite the fact that you’re his ex… I found myself in similar situation and I know what it cost me.”

“I was going to tell you everything babe. I swear!… Was just waiting for this to clear off your mind.”

“I see. And if you were really waiting, what…”

“Guys!” Tunde calmly yelled at them. “Hope you can see that someone is trying to rest here.”

Thank God for this Tunde guy, cos I was going to try my best to stand up and paste a dirty slap on Dave’s cheek. Your girl confessed. So what?… why be a bitch about it?

“It’s why it’s called a confession guys, do I need repeat that over and over again? Total freedom of speech, irrespective of what’s been said. Ok?… Thank you!”

“This Tunde is a really good guy.” I thought to myself. Asides the fact that we’ve not really met and talked, I knew he was a cool headed person with sound social skills and a very polished ‘get-along’ attitude. People like this are always the live of most gathering and they make most male talkative. They can form a bond with you in no time at all and they make wonderful sales person and customer care personnel… Oh you see? He works in Etisalat just as I mentioned that, I remembered. And it would really have been unfair to do what I, Kate and Dave planned to do to him. He really would have been too innocent for it and although I might or might not meet him, his soul would’ve judged me… Well, would’ve judged me, Dave, June and Titi.

Scanning with my psychic thing, I knew he was really a likeable person and just as I was beginning to feel bad about how we had planned to tie him to a stake… Boom! It dawned on me that he was going to know all about it. Not just that, he was going to know all about it right here, in this room, in a couple of minutes, from either his own fiancée or Dave, the ranting man he just did his best to calm down and it’s all going to be the peak of the event.

This isn’t the kind of peak an enjoyable event like this should have. It’s just like whispering the death of the MC’s relative to him while anchoring an event you’ve fully paid him for. Would he drop the mic and give you a refund or just continue with the show to mourn later?

Well, I don’t know and don’t want to know.

“Oh lord, don’t let anyone of either Kate or Dave remember to add the plot against our MC to their confessions. Lord, I beg of you. I’ll forever be grateful if it can be done. I know you’re the God of all flesh and you control people’s thoughts and mindset. I know there’s nothing impossible for you to do. Please erase that part off their memory and replace it with something else. Thank you father for the answered prayers, Once again, I’ll forever be grateful and I’ll owe you one. For I pray, Amen!”

I quickly scooped some words of prayer and hoped for the best. Thanking God for the AC that won’t allow me to visibly break a sweat.

“So who’s next?”

“It’s like you’re really enjoying us talk.” Lizzy retorted

“Hahha!… Why did you say that?”

“Cos you brought up this whole confession idea in the name of it’s what Jay wants. I personally don’t know if it’s having any effect on him. He might not even be hearing us. Although I don’t know much about health and all but I was going to ask how this is going to make him feel any better or worse.”

Tunde looked down, observed me for a while and stood back up.

“He’s awake and clearly hearing us. It’s just a matter of time before he joins in this conversion.”

I kicked Tunde in the crotch thrice… In my mind.

“Join which conversation?… This guy sure adds humour to his event hosting talent. If anyone does not work in the spirit of my prayer, I’m just going to lay here like a half dead fish till you guys argue and wear yourselves out.”

“So who’s next?” Tunde rolled his eyes from Kate to Dave, back and forth like a pendulum bulb.

“Ladies first” Dave replied, now smiling like a child and making remember the picture of some kids on a queue, receiving vaccines and the only two serious people on that long queue was the weeping boy with the needle in his arm and the boy just behind him, watching in horror his fate and he was the main character in the picture tagged “It’s all fun and games until you’re next!”

Kate was obviously reluctant.

“Or… ok. Let me go first.” Dave said choicelessly.

“Here we go!” I thought, squeezing my eyes shut and hoping for the best.

Fight for what you love cos if you love it, then it’s worth fighting for. Just hope what you love loves you.

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