Bill and Sandra: Emotional vs. Physical | by William Ifeanyi Moore

DATING: Asking the important questions

Sandra was sat with her legs crossed in Bill’s kitchen. She wasn’t sure what it was about the sight of a man cooking in an apron, but there was definitely something appealing about it. Bill on the other hand who had maybe five dishes to his name that he could prepare moved around with the confidence of a master chef. It was all part of his seduction repertoire along with an exaggerated French accent he wouldn’t let go of.

‘I know this is all an act. Just look at how spotless your apron is.’ Sandra poked at his performance.

‘Well, you got me on that one. I actually bought this over the weekend just so I could wear it this evening. You have to give me points for the thought though.’ He diced some fruits for the salad.

‘I have to say it is working. Though there’s a chance it’s just the wine messing with my head. Are you sure you haven’t put anything in this?’ She raised her glass and peered close in mock inspection.

‘Only the finest love potions. Completely untraceable, if you weren’t already crazy about me, you will be once the moon eclipses the sun.’

They both laughed.

‘I will admit; you have some type of charm.’

‘I need it to make up for my height. Money would have been my preferred compensation but I will just about grow an inch taller if I stood on my wallet as it is.’

She laughed, ‘I don’t care about money, and I’m only taller than you when I wear my killer heels so that’s not a problem either.’

‘Your consolation on my poverty and physical challenge has been noted. It will be used greatly in your favour.’

‘I bet you are doing all this just to get some tonight.’

‘Am I supposed to deny wanting some because Lord knows I have thought of nothing else all week. I’m just pretending to be civil because I’m not sure how you would feel about bending over on this kitchen counter.’

‘Jesus, Bill. You are such a man. Shameless.’

‘Well, at least I am aware of what I am. Men like physical attention, women like emotional attention. You don’t see us shaming you guys for reading erotica where you can derive the same pleasure for free off Pornhub.’

‘Erotica actually has a story. Not like porn where a plumber comes to fix a pipe and ends up laying one.’

‘Ooo, I like that play on words. I’m going to use it somewhere and sound really witty. But seriously, what’s the story in erotica? It’s just an expression of the ultimate female fantasy. Crazy sex with absolute emotional commitment.’

‘And porn is the ultimate male fantasy, vulgar sex with no emotional commitment.’ She countered.

‘Exactly! That’s why the phrase “the other man” means nothing to us. For the most part we don’t mind screwing someone else’s wife or whatever without any emotional benefit. A guy is perfectly happy to be just a thing called for screwing without the emotional attachment. Women on the other hand always want to be more that just something a guy is screwing.’

‘Hmmm, it’s just a society thing. Like many girls can’t even tell their friends they have a couple of guys they are just screwing but guys will brag about it and trade stories over beers.’

‘I’ve always said slut shaming is a woman-on-woman crime before a man-on-woman crime. But a new breed of women is emerging though. It will just take a while to hit the mainstream. That’s if vibrators and dildos don’t put men out of business at the rate they are going.’

‘I doubt it. A toy would never replace a real man, maybe as a substitute for hard times.’

They both laughed.

‘I think in a lot of ways women set themselves up for the emotional attachment. If you are just screwing a guy, then keep it at just that, screwing. When you start calling and texting in between sessions it’s very easy to get attached. And cuddling…never cuddle a fuck-buddy.’

‘Some guys get attached too you know.’ She said in defense of women.

‘Of course, that happens. And when it does and the woman doesn’t feel the same, it is the most pitiful sight to see. There is nothing as unattractive as a man hooked on pussy. Excuse my French.’

She thought about a few men she had known to be like this. Even the thought of them irritated her. Their pleas and appeals for something more, eww. There was something unflattering about the sight and sound of a man being so submissive, begging. She wondered if this was how men felt about women they had started off with agreeing to keep the relationship casual. Sex without emotional attachment was never an easy field to navigate. It could leave someone wanting more of something perpetually out of their reach. It was very important to brace one’s self before stepping into the world of casual sex, and sometimes even that wasn’t enough. Human emotions had a way of overriding common sense. In fact, it was in its very nature to do so.

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