I remember a conversation I had with my cousin 10years ago.
I was telling him how I find it difficult to ask anyone asides my mom for anything. Even when I know he or she would not mind coming to my rescue.
He told me it was pride, he told me no one is an island and in life you will definitely need someone. He also said I should learn to ask. I either get a yes or a no.
I told him I will try but cannot guarantee being that person who will easily ask. I will gladly give when I can but asking is a big problem.
He smiled and told me life will make me get past that feeling.
Thinking back now, I realised life has not changed the way I feel towards asking. I try so hard to work towards affording my needs. I will rather go on my knees to ask God than ask human. Of course he won’t come down from heaven to hand me a cheque but he always makes a way.
He blesses the works of my hands, He uses people & He has orchestrated events that retains my peace. I have learnt not to panic but to pray.
Amidst all these, I have learnt to narrow down my network. There are people who would do whatever it is within their power to come to my aid and I hold them dear.
Asking is still very difficult for me. But it’s inevitable in life and should be done wisely.
Above all, ‘work and pray’ is the plan and it’s been working.
I also remember sharing my resolve on this issue with my friend and she told me the idea will not work in a relationship… LOL
But that is the case. I will rather expect my partner to take up responsibilities by himself and know what to do than me spelling it out.
She said there are men who you will need to spell out your needs to…hmmm
In my opinion, if your partner expects you to spell out your needs before lending a hand even when it is so obvious (abi? till u reject the help) then even if you ask, he won’t do it.
You are on a long walk alone thing, if you can afford it, by all means ‘kontunue’ (go ahead) o. But if you can’t, find your way now. There is nothing like “he will change when we get married or by then I will be his responsibility”
That is the point.
She that has eyes, let her read. Finance is an important aspect of a relationship.
You know how Biology has ‘Ecology and Botany’? Relationship has ‘Communication and Finance!’