Agbalumo dun dun!

Omo Oba lo fe mun un

 

Oh dear Agbalumo! Be sweet!

Be sweet because I’m here to

Leak, suck and milk you dry.

Fear not, ’cause I’ll be soft with it

and will tear your wall with

a full-barred mildness.

Drop a sweet cream on my taste bud

’cause a sour one will shrink it,

Makes flaccid my cheek and

Mask me with an unreal face.

 

Agbalumo dun dun!

Omo Oba lo fe mun un

 

A fruit that refuses to ripen

or be sweet at the sight of

a crem de la crem poetician,

Shall be savoured by

a mere toothless bird.

A hood doesn’t make a monk,

Agbada translates not to wealth,

So judge not my book by its cover.

If you peep into my diary,

You’ll discover I’m a pen Lord!

 

Agbalumo dun dun!

Omo Oba lo fe mun un

 

Oh! Now I fathom your plight;

Never be swayed by my uncrowned head,

Unbeaded wrists and/or neck.

My greatest parents are Adam and Eve,

So if Alaafin of Oyo, Alake of Egba,

Olowu of Owu and Aseyin of Iseyin’s

greatest parents are same,

Then they all are my kin,

kiths, skins and bloods, and

I am of the Royal Family.

 

Agbalumo dun dun!

Omo Oba lo fe mun un

 

So now as I lay my fingers on you,

Before the romantic caressing begins,

Quickly ejaculate and,

in the speed of light,

Release your scrumptious milk

Into my salivating throat…

And when I bury my teeth

into your meaty flesh,

Turn them not sensitive;

Rather, be sweet, be sweet…

 

Agbalumo dun dun!

Omo Oba lo fe mun un

 

_________________________

Agbalumo: African Star Apple

Agbalumo dun dun: Agbalumo, be sweet, be sweet!

Omo Oba lo fe mun un: It’s the King’s child who wants to suck.

Alaafin of Oyo, Alake of Egba, Olowu of Owu and Aseyin of Iseyin: Titles of four prominent and ancestral kings in Yoruba kingdom.

 

by Ayeyemi Taofeek Aswagaawy