the house

Previous Episodes –  The House I  The House II  The House III, The House IV, The House V

SESANThe chemist explain to us that he didn’t know what solution he could offer (fucking problem with all these quack roadside chemist, na problem dem go give u, no solution).

Make una quick find am one Ashewo to fuck o, I no fit talk wetin go happen to him penis if he no fuck”He offered as Bello and I turned and started making our way back home. And those stupid girls in the house had all gone for a wedding. One of their colleagues actually. When ashewos start to dey marry? I hissed as I started my second round of jogging.

BODEI couldn’t say anything, I was just trying to figure in my head how long Boka and Ben had been gay lovers. It was Latifah who asked the obvious dumb question everyone had been expecting.

What’s going on here?”., Ladies and dumb questions sha. You see a guy giving a fellow guy a handjob, what do you think is going on? Weight-lifting with his dick ni?“You can’t understand, we get small problem ni” Boka answered with a straight face. Yeah, sure, they definitely had a problem. They were gay, the thought sef was really irritating to me.Ben groaned out from the bed, he sounded like someone in pain and not pleasure. Now what the fuck was going on?

Ben, wetin do you?” My turn to ask a question. Was it dumb? I hoped not.“Guy I go use Viagra ni o and that stupid girl no go show”, he was sounding like a kid who just swallowed his meat before chewing. Which girl was he talking about? I didn’t know and wasn’t really interested. What had my interest was the viagra he had mentioned.

Jesus, viagra?! Why didn’t you wait till she even land sef”, Latifah uttered. Jesus like it was just a normal word in the dictionary.Just as Ben was about to groan and say something. Sesan and the tall house fellow they called Bello burst in, panting heavily. Sesan bent over and looked at everyone in the room, he smiled when he saw Latifah.

Guy, abeg the chemist give una the medicine for this thing”, Ben was now on the verge of crying. The funny thing is Boka’s hand was still on his dick.

Omo, we gast go find pussy make you fuck o coz the guy say if u no fuck, you fit crossover”, Sesan spat out.

You serious? He fit die?”, Boka sounded really shocked.

Wait, Boka wetin yoru hand dey do with Ben prick”, Bello asked. This time the question didn’t seem that dumb.

You dey mad! No be you talk say maybe another person hand go fit make am cum quick?”, Boka attacked. I looked from Boka to Bello and to Sesan who visibly was holding back his laughter.

I dey play ni. How guy go dey help guy massage him prick? I don dey suspect you o, You be gay ni. Abi when you even see Latifah for here, why una no ask am for help?

My brain burst wide open at the mention of Latifah who was now the one laughing.

LATIFAHI couldn’t help laughing but to be honest all these talk was getting me horny. And Ben’s dick was really massive and attractive. Those veins around it just wanted to make me go down and suck him till he spilled in my mouth. But not with these guys around especially Bode. If I had known Ben had a dick like this, I would have accepted his proposal last year and fucked him o. Damn, this was one good dick. What were these guys thinking?

SESANHmm Latifah could be the solution o but Bode wey come dey here now don spoil job. Hmmmm, what to do now o? We had to get this guy one pussy and any pussy to fuck. If he go die, I no fit write statement. Time to put down a plan. I was about saying something when Ben groaned out loud and said.

Latifah, abeg make I fuck you na. I go buy you blackberry. I go even dey pay subscription every month”, this guy was really loco o.

Are you mad ni? What kind of talk is that?”, Bode’s eyes were flashing red. Bello was now the one filling the room with his laughter.

Guy, which one be your own na? She be your girlfriend ni? Make he fuck her na, make he release abi you wan make he die ni”, Boka attacked Bode who could offer no defense but still had his anger pasted all around his face.

Latifah, abeg na. Na only the head go enter. No be all my dick. See sef, I dey always quick release. Two to five minutes I go don release”, Ben begged again.

Surprisingly Latifah didn’t say anything, her facial expression was blank. Abi she dey reason am ni. No, shit was going to happen. I had to step in.

Guy, get sense. Make we dey go islander” (Islander is a hotel in Mushin that always had lots of available prostitutes).

Haa, I go die before we reach there”, tears were now trickling down Ben’s face.

Guy, no worry, you no go die. Bello go find cab for outside. Make you wear clothe make we dey go sharply”.

Bello went out without another word and Boka finally took his hand off Ben’s dick. He got a sachet of pure water and went out to wash his hand.

Bro, I am going to the room”, Bode told me as he turned and stepped out. Latifah followed him but as she got to the door she turned and said to Ben.

Ben, sorry but you would be fine”, She said with a smile. This girl sha, I have to warn Bode later.“Thank you” was Ben’s reply as he turned to me to help with his clothes. Oh lord! Getting a short over his erection was wahala o. Boka came in and didn’t even bother helping, he just stood in a corner watching us. Bello bumped back in.

I don get taxi o, he say two thousand, he don dey wait”, He said.

Two thousand ke for a trip of usually seven hundred naira. Sharp guy Bello was trying to make his own gain out of the situation, I should do the same.

Ben, how much dey your hand?

I get about seven five (7,500) for wallet but if we need money. My ATM card dey. make we dey go abeg”, he was limping towards the door. I followed up and helped him.

Outside the gate was a downbeat typical Lagos cab. Even the yellow and black paint seems to have washed off. But this trip wasn’t about the means of transport, it was about what would end it.

BOKAChei, make I follow these guys them? But I still dey owe Cynthia two thousand five for the short time wey I go do last o. She fit go dey around and see me. And the stupid girl no get joy, she go embarrass me ni. Abi make I no go ni but this weather be like say e go sweet to fuck o. If to say Bode no dey house now, I for just go back house go scope Latifah make I fuck small.

SESANFinally, we on our way to Islander. Boka had hesitated before getting in the backseat with Bello and, crazy boy was probably scared of Ben asking him to rub his dick again.


I turned back to look at what was wrong. Ben was obviously in pain because his eyes were closed and he was frowning.

Benji no worry, you go make am. Na two things sure pass for this life. You go die and you go reach house

Yeeeeeehh!!! Sesan I go die?!”, Ben yelled.

Ki lo shey (what’s wrong with him)”the Cab driver asked in concern.

Baba, ara e o ya ni(he’s ill)”, then I turned to Ben”Guy calm down, I no talk say you go die. I dey try say everybody go die na certainity but not today.

I turned back and face the road. It was all quiet and gloomy as we drove to our destination. Ben’s occasional groaning reminded us why we were stuck in here. Finally arrived at Islander Hotel. I told the cab driver to park about four houses off. Then I got down and called on Boka to follow me.

Why b say na me you call? When you wan go chemist, no be Bello you call?” He grumbled.

Cool down jor, no be you dey fuck ashewo pass. Na you go sabi negotiate with them na”, this seemed to calm him down as we walked towards Islander.

Guy come first”, he pulled me back as we got to the gate, standing a few feet away was a group of ready to fuck six girls.

Wetin?” I asked.

Make we go price one of those ones wey stand for there na

Why? Dem no go get room for here jare. You go pay money to fuck then pay for room sef. Make we go inside bar go meet regulars”

No you no understand, those ones for inside don chop belleful, dem go wan over-charge us as soon as dem see Ben dick. But these ones go wan fuck anything

Hmmm he was making sense though. Stupid guy could fuck a prostitute all day of the week. Apparently where he was burning all the little change he was getting from his yahoo runs.

BOKAThank God say dis girls dem dey outside. We fit go enter bar now go jam Cynthia. The format wey I give Sesan work sef coz he agree.

SESANAs we approached the girls, I grew uncomfortable. Never been a fan of paid sex and its hawkers. Even the ones in the house, it had taken me quite a while to get accustomed to them and they had their usefulness occasionally. I pushed Boka forward.

Boka!!” One of the girls shouted as they looked up at us. I told you this dude’s popular with them. Here was the shocker, the lady in question step forward and planted a slap that could be heard in the vatican on Boka’s face.

Where my money?!” She gripped him by the collar of his shirt. Boka’s eyes were still closed as he was still recovering from the slap.

“Cynthia, why you come do like this na?” He said without opening his eyes.

Cynthia ke, where you see Cynthia? You want make I dash you another slap abi? Beta open your eyes pay me my money”, this was going nuclear, I took a step backwards.

BOKANo b say I no wan open my eyes, I wan open am but e be like say dem use glue hold am down small. I sha force am open, wait make the moon comot make sun come back. As I go look properly, na so I see Anita face o! Jesus! This witch don come back, I bin think say dem say she don relocate go back village permanently. How much I owe am sef? Haa which kain wahala come be this.

Anita ,when you come back”, I no remember anything wey I talk again, Na another slap answer me. I no remember if I faint.

  1. That second slap was like one of Muri thunder’s shots. Boka was falling down but was held firmly by the hand on his collar. I started calculating my options here.

Sister, abeg take am easy, wetin he do. abeg no kill am”, I said without stepping forward.

Leave me, make I kill am. Na me go even carry him dead body go station go report myself. This stupid boy con sit down ontop my toto for one week dey tell me say one maga dey send money, money go come. Till I travel he no give me shingbain! To fuck na for free? Abi he resemble him mama own”, She was shouting with her fellow prostitutes hailing her.

Boka na true?” I started to play good cop.

Boka couldn’t answer or rather didn’t want to answer incase of another slap.

Sister abeg, you fit deal with am later. Na business me I come here for. You fit beat am enter next year if u like. But now I need correct babe

As I said this, all the other ladies stopped hailing Anita and started walking towards me.

Bros, look me, I fit fuck and suck you well o

Bros, you for talk since na.

Bros I go take care of you

Anita looked up at me, her eyes still glaring red. Her hand was still firmly holding Boka in place. I decided to play a card.

No, na Anita I come for. Boka don talk well of you. He no even know say you don come back, we for call your phone instead say we dey come here”, Fuck, does Boka even have her number?

But all I said apparently sank in well because her anger evaporated and she was smiling now.

No mind the foolish boy, he no think well. Na only when he wan fuck toto, he dey think. Oya make we talk, wetin you say you need?

She let go of Boka’s shirt and the really foolish boy truly just sat flat on the floor.I was confident now and pulled Anita to one side and explained the whole situation to her. At first she was adamant that she couldn’t fuck a customer who had used Viagra but when I mentioned we would pay anything she asked for, she calmed down and charged ten thousand naira. I added a clause that she would forget about Boka’s debt (at least he could gain from today’s business), she disagreed then I renegotiated a twelve thousand naira deal that would get Boka off the hook she agreed.Boka had regained himself now and we went to get Ben from the cab. The driver charged us extra five hundred for time wasted. That is according to Bello who was the negotiator. Benji pulled out three thousand naira and gave it to Bello as Boka and I helped him to the hotel to get a room. He passed me his ATM card and gave me his password (Agro don make the idiot trust me, lmao). He asked me to withdraw ten thousand naira and gave me the four thousand five hundred naira in his wallet hoping it would cover all. Well a room was just one thousand five hundred naira for shortime. I agreed and left as Anita locked up the door behind me and faced her special customer.

I went down to the bar with Bello and Boka and ordered three big stouts.“Sesan, abeg make we go sit down for back”, Boka said as our drinks arrived. Islander had a back room in the corner.

“For wetin, heat dey always dey that side. Make we sit down here jare”, Bello replied. Just as I was opening my drink, I heard a lady shout


I looked at Bello and said

Padi, make we dey go back


……The House Episode VII

Written by BASS @OlumiCFC

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