The Age of Marriage

The Age of Marriage

“This year you shall locate the will of GOD for your life in marriage!” Another prayer for another spinster and bachelor at the beginning of the year. If you do not know your right from your left, this prayer will not work for you o jare!

I was listening to a podcast by Elsie Godwin and I could not for the life of me,  understand why age should matter when it comes to marriage. I do have some thing to point out though. The only time you should subscribe to marrying a person who is younger or older, is only when you love them. The fact that “you dey old for house” should not push you into relationships that are physically, spiritually and emotionally detrimental to your health.

When it comes to age and relationships, being older or younger is not a free pass to being mature or immature. Growing up in Nigeria, most girls wanted an older man; “for security ” some would normally say. “Because older men are mature” the others would say.. Me, I have dated both younger and older guys and I have to say that maturity and security do not lie in how old a person is. On one of my birthdays, (I shall not say which; before you guys start calculating ?) I went clubbing for the first time and I met a 24 year old guy, he kept trying to talk to me and dance with me. He introduced himself with this line “My name is **** and my uncle is the governor of Ogun State.” At first,  I saw it as a very immature way of trying to get my attention,  but I gave it a chance; as he could have been too nervous. We danced and laughed and when it was time for me to go home, he walked me to my friend’s car. He opened the door for me to get in, gave me a hug and promised to call to make sure that we got home safely. Within me, I was kind of happy that I had not judged him too quick. Over the next couple of days, he promised to take me shopping and he wanted to hang out after that. I put “hang out” in quotation for it to explain how unsure I was about  “hanging out” with a  younger guy. It was not that I was too old for him, I just couldn’t fathom dating anyone, who was younger than I was. Anyway, he called me once again and “babes” he said ” I want to take you shopping; then we can come back to my place to play fifa 2013″ I sort of froze on the spot. Then I asked, “what is that?” And he replied “oh it’s  a video game!” I instantly asked him to let me call him back as I had to pay attention to my ajebutter 1 (Child) and I NEVER called him back nor replied his text messages again. Listen, I do not like men who spend all their spare times playing video games.  I have seen the damage it does to relationships eh. As a growing girl, I had over 4 gaming systems and once I had my baby girl, I stopped the madness. And I do not wish to be dragged into it.

As for the older men. Hehehehe like my aunty will say “been there, done there and got a tee shirt.” Most are actually worse than the younger guys. I once met an older man who said to me “men are like babies.” I took one piercing look at him and he had to “retreat and surrender.” When a grown man in his 60’s  tells you to treat him like a baby; please tell him to go meet his mommy. What the actual f”*k?!

The age of marriage for me lies in maturity. In the Nigerian society, it is okay for a 70 year old man to date or marry a 17 year old girl. But once the roles are switched, people begin to turn up their noses at such relationships. There is nothing wrong in a girl dating an older or younger guy. Does he take care of his responsibilities, does he understand that there is more to life than him being your baby? is he considerate of you? If the answers to my questions is yes; then what are you waiting for? This age wahala brings me to remember the late Anna Nicole smith who at 26 married the late J. Howard Marshall an 86 year old oil tycoon (God rest his soul). A lot of people believed she married him for his money, but that man; if he were alive is the only one who could explain to you how Anna made him feel for him to have married her. “Beauty they say, is in the eye of the beholder”. If you do not believe me, check out Patti Labelle at 71 and her 41 year old lover.

It is a known practice especially in Igbo land for a man to marry a younger wife; who will be the one to “take care” of him in his old age. She keeps him warm at night and keeps him happy with her cooking during the day; as his other wives could be old and tired :). There are some older men who date or marry younger girls; who are probably their youngest daughter’s age because of the sexual aspect of their relationship. They believe having sex with a young lover keeps them agile and it makes them feel younger. My Naija people will say “he dey find small pikin blood.” As in, she keeps him looking young and fresh. Most older men are also fascinated by sex with a younger girl. Apparently, it feels great! lwkmd

Speaking about sex, there are some younger men who brag about hitting that G-spot, but really  they are perpetual  novices when it comes to a sexual relationship. As in they promise to help you find the G-spot as if it was lost…When I say G-spot, I do not mean Gold spot. I mean, the Grafenberg spot. That erogenous area of the vagina that makes a woman sing in glorious and ecstatic notes when tickled. You would think being young helps them last longer to actually find the missing G-spot, but nna ehn, no way oh! Some older men who seemingly look like veterans are actually veterans of the bed room. One touch from them and you are singing in notes you never thought you could hit. Hallelujah!

Okay let’s try to keep it together 🙂

When it comes to relationships and marriage, age is really nothing, but a number. while there are older men or women who think they are babies, there are younger guys who carry their responsibilities with pride and work hard to fulfill each one of them. The whole gist is in finding that person who brings out the best in you; whether old or young.

Age is really nothing, but a number 🙂

Happy New year!

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  1. Educative piece subtly delivered. I quite agree with most of the points raised except the aspect of older men wanting to be treated like babies. In my opinion, that is not a bad thing. Every guy irrespective of age or maturity deserves to be pampered by the woman he loves.

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