By Samuel Oluwatobi Olatunji.
“I have a surprise for you, sweetheart…”“hmm… interesting… what’s it?”“close your eyes”“okay? Eyes closed? But I hope you don’t want to kidnap me sha?”“why will I kidnap you?”“well, boys are looking for quick ways to make money nowadays that the economy is not smiling”“well, I love my girlfriend too much to use her for ritual”“awwwww… that’s so sweet of you. Anyway, what’s the surprise?”“are your eyes still closed?”“can’t you see? Or are your eyes closed too?”“okay okay… abracadabra… You can open your eyes now…”“hmmm… what is this?”“an image of my love”“you drew this?”“yes, from the bottom of my heart”“is this a drawing of my head, or a drawing of the map of Nigeria?”“your head na? what kind of a question is that? You’re very ungrateful.”“oh, am I? I never knew ooo”“you ought to say thank you, hug me, kiss me, and do more sweet things to me…”“hmmm… interesting… I never knew… please the last time you drew something before now was?”“maybe in primary four”“wow… no wonder… that explains the childish jargon on this paper…. hahahahhahaha”“what!!!?”“please just stick to writing… I love your writing… in fact, that’s why I fell in love with you, and agreed to date you, and even want to marry you, but if you continue with this drawing, I will change my mind ooo”“baby girl, it is someone like you that can make someone to commit suicide”“oh, please I still love you ooo, don’t go and kill yourself… I just want you to have a taste of your sarcasm so that you will know how I feel sometimes”“so this is your revenge, abi?”“well, maybe. Who knows?”“well, don’t forget, I’m the Stupidist here.”“and I am the Queen of the Stupidist, remember? Behind every great Stupidist is a great lover supporting his stupidity.”“hahahahaha… is that your wise saying? Mehn, I have never heard a saying as stupid as that”“oh, you have regained your wits now, abi?”“yup yup”“don’t worry, I have spent so much time with you that I have learnt well how to be stupid too”“wow.. amazing… together we will write the greatest love story to show how cupid is stupid”“exactly”“wow. I love you, baby”“I love you too, stupid boy. Now, go write a poem for me, and stop showing me absurd drawing of your imaginary lover”“your wish is my command, ma chère.”“good boy! Oya come and chop kiss… muaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!”Click HERE for previous parts of Scribbles of Our Stupidity!!!