By Samuel Oluwatobi Olatunji.
“baby boy, did you take my #500 on the desk?”“what are you talking about?”“I forgot #500 on the desk before leaving the room this money”“oh, how was the #500 like?”“what kind of a stupid question is?”“a question that will help us in the search of the missing #500 of course”“don’t begin your clownish behaviour with me this evening ooo”“yes, ma’am”“now did you take the money or not?”“who knows? I might have, and I might not have.”“please, baby boy, I beg you, don’t annoy me today.”“what exactly will annoy you? Your money or my mouth?”“both, especially your mouth!”“ok, well, let me hold my peace then”“but didn’t you see any #500 on the desk?”“well, I should have, or I think I did.”“that’s neither here nor there”“well, I think I know what happened to your money now”“ok, what happened? I’m listening”“hmm.. well, it’s not a long story….”“say it oooo… don’t tell me that you have started stealing #500? Ordinary #500?”“me steal #500? May the gods forbid! If I want to steal at all, I will just go and join politics, where I can steal millions of dollars, and I won’t be jailed. In fact, I may just do small small good for the country, and watch if I will not get the Man of the Year Award”“abeg go and join the politics oooo. Stop stealing your girlfriend’s money. If you join politics, at least I can get enough money to shop in Dubai.”“Dubai ko, Abia ni!”“now back to my missing #500 issue…”“oh, we are still on that? May your missing #500 story not be like the Chibok girls’ story in Jesus’ name?”“Amen. But I’m not the annoying FG that failed to find the Chibok girls, I will find my money even if I have to consult a native doctor.”“wow… that’s a beautiful idea. We don’t really need detectives in this world, especially in Africa. We have dibias to just speak with the gods for anything we need to know.”“that’s not my business…”“oh, so what’s your business?”“my #500 of course”“you mean we are still on that for this long?”“yes, of course!”“oh, I never knew”“can you stop being a clown for once?”“Can I? Who knows?”“Oh God! Where did I get this boyfriend from!?”“from the Garden of Eden in your heart of course”“nooo, it can’t be… you must have been sent to me to punish me for my sins on earth”“that will be interesting! I wonder why the people you claim sent me didn’t give me whips to use on you?”“what!? Whips!? On who!? Me!? You need whips more than I do for Christ’ sake!”“hmmm… yea… I need the whips more to thrash you na”“stop twisting my words, stupid boy!”“hahahaha… well, let me save you any more trouble… your #500 is with the prodigal son.”“what’s that?”“it’s a puzzle… connect it. I don’t have a dumb girlfriend! Or have you been lost in the flow of change too?”“oh, I get it na… the money is in the bible. But which? Mine or yours?”“smart girl But which bible am I likely going to use for money, sorry morning, devotion?”“hmm… your bible. So the money has been there all this while, and you have allowed us to just be beating about the bush?”“well, welcome to my world, baby!”“you’re just a stupid boy!”“thanks for the compliment, baby.”Click HERE for previous parts of Scribbles of Our Stupidity!!!