Relationship Lessons from The Fourth Finger

The Fourth Finger by Sally Dadzie

The Fourth Finger is a Romantic novel written by Sally Kenneth Dadzie. I got the book from Sally on the 10th of August 2016 and I finished reading the book yesterday, 16 of august 2017. I guess that says a lot about my reading culture but I know I am better than some. I read and I am fine. Mind you, I have finished some books in between, some I shared my thoughts here on the blog like Seun Odukoya’s Booooom! , for some, I made Facebook posts or tweeted about them while for others, I took a cup of tea or red wine and slept.

This is not about my reading routine or culture though. I am here to share with you lessons from reading the book – The Fourth Finger. In my opinion, The Fourth Finger by Sally Kenneth Dadzie is a book about cheating. Not just cheating but cheating in Marriages.

There were 5 existing couples – Tayo & Omolade aka Isabella James, Christie & Folarin, Salma & Raji, Nkechi & Mark and Izu & Bernadette, and 2 other couples were created by the time the Novel ended.

There were cheating partners in every existing relationship in the novel. The 663 pages novel is a story of love, betrayal, commitment, understanding, side chick, main chicks and revenge. Couples were caught in web of lies, adultery and deceit. The plots keeps you wanting more.

I particularly loved the character – Antonia Braithwaite. She is a PR executive, anonymous owner of a popular blog and a proper bitch. I loved how focus she was when trying to achieve her goals whether good or bad and how she was able to recognise the true feelings she had for one of her late reader’s husband, even though she tried to fight it.

I look forward to seeing a Nollywood series based on The Fourth Finger. While I keep praying for that to happen, below are lessons I was reminded of while reading the novel:

Forgiveness and Love keeps the home

Your partner is human and will do what humans do – err. If you can cope and still want to keep your marriage, you have to find a place in your heart to forgive and accommodate them while you both put in extra effort to build your relationship, again.

There are men who do not cheat. Not all men cheat. If you are lucky to find one of these men, do not take them for granted

People need time to heal. If your partner has not called off your relationship due to your bad behavior, that’s awesome enough. But do not expect them to switch immediately. He or she needs time to heal. Mr. A’s healing span is different from Mr. B’s.

If you truly want to be forgiven, you must be ready to work for it. Let your partner know you are sorry. Not because you want to be forgiven and taken back but because you are truly sorry.

There’s someone else waiting to treat your partner better than you do. You think you are the knight in shining armour? There is a knight is shining agbada somewhere.

Never lose sight of what is important. The pressure, hustle and familiarity can make you lose sight of the important person and factor in your relationship. Never lose the passion, keep it burning. Be considerate and sincere about how you feel. Be open and communicate. Grow together in love and every area of your life. Be unbreakable…Be irreplaceable.

Do not trick anyone into marriage. Marriage is supposed to be forever. It is better to make such lasting decision by oneself. You don’t want to wake up one morning by someone who feels trapped with you.

We are not the same. No two persons are similar. We are unique and different. So also is our threshold. Understand your partner and make it work.

An abusive man will remain abusive until there is a life changing encounter or severe consequences for his actions.

To get a copy of The Fourth Finger, send an email to

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  1. You got it all worked out. Good one Elsie. The fourth finger all the way… Teamdearhighmistress.

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