A video trended last week on social media where a young man proposed to a lady and she walked away. We can easily translate that to being a NO, right? Oh hold up, she shook her head and walked away…that’s a clear “No”, right? Worst part was the proposal was done in public…PUBLIC!

And men are the ones labelled “trash”????? pic.twitter.com/SvfYZUo2pr

— The Radio DJ (@KMalebye_) October 15, 2017

I pitied the guy but really, how do you get to the point of proposing to a woman who doesn’t see you in her future? Were you not communicating? No body language? How did that happen?

Dear men, to avoid getting a negative answer when you finally decide to propose to your desired woman, here are some before proposal tips you should consider:

Communicate:

Personally, I do not joke with words and I let people around me understand that I don’t usually say a lot of things I do not mean. Even when joking or being sarcastic, there is an atom of truth in them. I know my words can always be used against me, therefore, I don’t have to wait for a law court situation to choose my words carefully. So if I do not like you or see myself with you in future, in any capacity, I will not expressly make you think that. I know there are women, just as there are men, who say things just for the moment or do not really care about the consequences of their words/actions, but, you must find your discerning spirit and be very wise about it. I believe that we are not all talkers but we are all doers. If a wo/man loves you, s/he should be able to show it. If a wo/man wants to spend the rest of his or her life with you, they should equally be able to show it. she doesn’t have to take up the role of a wife before actually becoming your wife but as complicated as they say a woman can be, she loves with all her heart, throws away caution sometimes and is readily submissive when she trusts her man’s love and leadership.

we are not all talkers but we are all doers Click To Tweet

All I am trying to say is, you must communicate in words and actions to be sure she is on the same page with you. Sometimes, men date more than one woman because they want to be sure they are making the right choice… Women also date more than one man, sometimes, to be sure she is picking the right man. I mean, if you think you have the upper hand because you say it’s a man’s world and you do the chasing, how much more upper hand do you think a woman who can have more than 5 eligible suitors on her case, trying to impress her and trying to wife her, has? Don’t get me wrong though, this is not always so for every woman but you get my point. It’s a game you must learn to play with your head, not your heart.

Don’t ask unless you are sure

You cannot start showering every eligible spinster you meet with proposals…Don’t be a scum! You should be certain that your intended is going to say yes before you even think about popping the question. If you’re not sure… it’s too soon.

Forget social media

I have said this many times and I will continue saying it, “People hardly follow their own relationship tips”. Not because they deliberately tweeted wrong tips for you to follow, no, their tips may come from a sincere place, from their own little world, their own truth at the time, etc. but life changes you, experience changes you, LOVE changes you. You begin to do things for the one you love, things you never imagined you doing. But that is love… for love you bend rules, for love you sacrifice, for love you compromise, for love you put your partner before you, for love you become a fool…It is love, it’s not wrong. You only hope to love and go all the way for someone who will do same for you, someone who will pick you up when you fall, someone who has your back no matter what and at all times, someone who sees beyond your physical appearance…someone who sees your soul.

Yes, forget social media and the people on it dishing out advice. Some are also just deliberate noisemakers who want to be seen in a particular light while their reality is totally different. I once had an acquaintance who after spending over a hundred thousand on gifts for his then girlfriend’s valentines’ surprise, he went online to tell men not to stress about buying gifts for their woman on Valentine’s Day. He went on to say if she can’t understand and get past one day then she is not wife material. But he already spent good sum of money to impress a girl he started dating for a little over months. He wanted attention and he got plenty of it.

Think about what makes you happy, what is reasonably logical, what you can tolerate and how your intended partner makes you feel. Find out how you make her feel too, then find out if she really wants to spend the rest of her life with you.

Lastly, it doesn’t hurt to ask before the main proposal and if you are not sure, plan a private romantic proposal.