LE PANT: CHRONICLES OF A LOBATIAN 2

lobatian

#BlogFest #50DaysCountDownTo2015 – DAY 6. Written by @wickedstepmami , She blogs at www.rukyogono.blogspot.com

Read chronicles of a Lobatian 1 here

Today, I bring you the 2nd part of the chronicles of a lobatian. I barely survived the first day of our cohabitation, but I hoped for a better future, I hoped things would get better from that day; I took up all activities in the kitchen to ensure that history doesn’t repeat itself. But I was so wrong (⌣́_⌣̀) .

I got up by 5am that morning to find Mimi polishing her nails, like seriously, so early in the morning after silently killing me with farts lined with cyanide the previous night. I already killed her in my head twice, but she was still alive. I got ready for school and as I called out to her so we could go together, lo and behold, she came out from the room looking like someone who was raped in a crayon factory. She drew a long line on her eye brows which made her look like a typical Benin market woman. She used 4 different eye shadows and massacred the whole thing by using a reddish colored powder probably Mary Fay. Her weave was practically begging for deliverance from a comb. I didn’t want to be rude so I didn’t say a word about the dressing.

I left school around 2pm to get a few things from the market and on my way back I met an old friend. I won’t really say he’s a friend, his name is Andy, we were very close at a particular time and then feelings came in and before we could acknowledge them he went off to serve, so we lost contact for a while. The meeting was magical, we connected once more and I actually hoped we could give it another try. He took my number and we parted ways. I got home and jumped on my bed in joy and my phone rang ┐(‘⌣’┐) (┌’⌣’)┌. ƪ(˘⌣˘)┐┌(˘⌣˘)ʃ , it was him, he wanted to take me out for dinner so we could catch up, but being the wife material that I am (:p lmfao don’t hate) I asked him to come over for a home cooked meal. He loved the idea, but I didn’t realize what I had done.

I swept the room thoroughly as I cooked owe wiri or yellow soup with chicken and yam for him, I made sure the room was in perfect condition. He called me and asked for direction to the room, I went out and took a bike to the junction so I could direct him down, I met him with ease and we drove back to the room. I noticed the door was open, but I still prayed that it wasn’t what I was thinking (۳º̩̩́_º̩̩̀)۳ . We entered the room and I almost wet my pants, there was tissue on the ground, nylon bags, and clothes (•̩̩̩̩͡_•̩̩̩̩͡) . The room I spent hours working on was ruined. I apologized and he understood, she quickly excused herself from the room and left. I cleared up the room quickly and served the food.

He finished the food and complemented me, he put on music and asked me to dance, I was shy, but I didn’t care. I got up to dance and that was when I saw it (۳º̩̩́_º̩̩̀)۳ , LE PANT (the pata) that she pulled before going out, it was on the table, how could I have missed it when I cleared her mess up. I just prayed to GOD to save me from the humiliation ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ ) . I wanted to move quickly and pick it, but then I remembered the toxic contamination and nuclear war the pant had gone through the previous night. I just kept on dancing, trying to remove his attention from the table and then he quickly rested on the table and I gasped. He asked me why I gasped and I could watch his expression change as he asked ‘what’s this I’m touching?’ . I just sat on the floor filled with shame, I felt like killing her.

He got a call and had to leave but I made sure I explained everything to him and he told me he noticed her kind of person beforehand. I made sure he used Dettol to wash his hands thoroughly. I sat outside awaiting her arrival to pour out my anger on her and she sent me a text that’s she’s gone to her boyfriend’s house. I was just weak -_- let me stop here for now, don’t forget to share. Have a beautiful day and for those of you concerned about the pant, I picked it with a stick and burnt it with trash -__-

Read chronicles of a Lobatian 1 here

@Wickedstepmami

http://rukyogono.blogspot.com

For inquiries, send mails to elsieisy@gmail.com or tweet at @elsieisy

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2 comments

  1. I hope this is the part that you decide that you have had enough and throw her out…these lines got me laughing…”someone who was raped in a crayon factory” very ingenious line

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