#50DaysCountDownTo2015 – Day 23. Written by @mchantel , she blogs at

One part of life, unless you are part of the few people who meet a guy in their teens and go on to live a happy after life with very few problems, is that we have to travel the road of dating and go through relationship bumps and get a few knocks and scars along the way. For some it’s grazes and scratches. Some gashes and for others, rather large gaping wounds. Fortunately, most would heal but there is still some scar. The thing is in other for us to share ourselves; for us to expend any emotions on someone of a positive nature means that we have to take a risk and sometimes we get burnt.

I for one am an example of someone who has been badly burnt in a relationship and it changed my attitude and perspective on things. It coloured every interaction I had and within me I knew I wasn’t fully there when I tried to get involve with someone; I held myself back. It was my own way of protecting myself.

Ladies, no man and I repeat no man is worth the emotional drain of deciding to shut yourself off from the opportunity of being loved and to love. Yes you got hurt, but when we have recovered from that hurt, we need to get back up, dust ourselves off and get back on that saddle. Not the same saddle but nonetheless start over again. Get a new saddle and darling hop on. Never give anyone the type of power where they steal your ability to feel or trust, because it’s more than they deserve.

Sometimes, we shut off people subconsciously (I did it) and other times, it’s just a conscious calculated decision to never trust and love again because of an experience. Do whatever you have to do to address the hurt, get closure, park it, put it in the past and move on because as long as someone else has had that effect on, there is always going to be a part of you that is shut off, held in the past and not getting a chance to grow.

It’s usually hard to avoid the pitfalls of heartbreak that make us want to chuck the towel in, but I feel that if we give up trying, we give up on ourselves. The more we care about ourselves and work hard at making better choices that reflect the validation that we have given ourselves, is the closer we are to better relationships. Of course happiness is not guaranteed as unfortunately, not only do relationships require hard work, there is also the old adage ‘shit happens’. Yes we may get hurt again, but more often than not we can survive that. You can love again.

As usual stay beautiful

Written by Chantel, twitter- @mchantel

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  1. Tell them oh! Everybody likes to claim trust issues and all sorts of issues from troubled past. We have all been burnt, but on we march.

  2. After someone will say all men are the same!It’s a lie, u just made too many bad choices but that shouldn’t stop you from trying again after all the men are moving on.. life isn’t a bed of roses jarey

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