Girl Code

What is the meaning of the word “Ex” It means former, something that is no more. In this situation, an Ex-boyfriend or Ex-husband is someone you do not want anymore. It means someone who you have broken up a relationship with.  This may offend some people, so please look away if you know you will be vexed  Now, there is this ” girl code “, I was discussing with some Facebook acquaintances and I decided to discuss it on my wall and to be honest my friends agreed with me that when you have broken up with a man, you do not own him anymore, he becomes a free agent. It becomes his choice to date who he wants; including your friends. Yes your friends. It is quite illogical to me when a woman says her ex-boyfriends are out of bounds for her friends. So if you have dated 10 men and broken up with all, none of your friends can date any of these guys even when they are meant for each other? What is the logic behind that thinking? The person is your “ex”  I have seen married women fight their single friends who happened to be dating their ex. Woman, you are married! What else do you want from a man you broke up with? You have a husband. Am I missing something or what?   You should have seen how some women were going to war on this topic. One said “Go find your own man!” And I said to her “But he is not yours. You have broken up. How is he yours? Does he remain yours after the break up? Is having an ex-boyfriend the same as leaving a carbon foot print?” I almost fainted from bewilderment; that I had to un-follow that post.  A friend said it is a Nigerian thing. Is it actually? Come to think of it, it was just Nigerian girls arguing for this “Girl- code” I call it the yeye (stupid) code. What kind of code is that? Please before you make friends with me, throw that code back to the trash where you borrowed it. I am actually finding this quite funny because this has happened to me before. It is funny because the guy kept “toasting” (asking me out) for a whole year and a half and when I finally agreed to be his girlfriend; not even up to three months in, he proposed marriage. We became quite close, but while we were going through a few hurdles, he married my childhood friend. Did I “kee” (kill) myself? No. I am still friends with them.  I cannot come and go and “kee” myself for anyone. They are married now with three lovely kids. I remember asking him how come he married her and he said well she did not know and had attempted to leave him when she found out him and I were an item. But the love she had for him superseded everything else. I am not upset about it. I found it a little weird, but I said to myself “It must be an act of GOD. Make I go find my own man abeg.” Instead of you to fight your friends over a man who they will probably not leave to save your wacky friendship, why don’t you go search for your own man? What if the man is her “Destiny?” There are some girls who have a rule not to talk to a guy if they all like him at the same time. What? Honestly, the guy has his own will and if he makes his choice to be with one of you, the rest of you should be happy for that friend. Women, we make things so complicated. Except you have a pact to remain single together forever, you should not be having any “idiotic” code in a friendship. Some women like to claim another woman snatched their man. No, your friend did not snatch your man.  He made a conscious choice to be with her since your relationship was over, it was done with, dead, kaput, finito! If you cannot stand the sight of your Ex with your friend; then move on. I do not know of any guy-codes, but I hope they are not petty enough to have one 🙂 I am not writing this just because I felt like it, but because I have been in that situation before and I chose not to let it drive me crazy. Men full this world, no need to “kee” yourself because one made his own choices. You cannot stop one person from loving another person, it is beyond your control once they are in love; however, you may either walk away or put some big girl panties on and cheer them on. You will get the ultimate blessing. In fact the future will be kind to you. 

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5 comments

  1. Girls..Girls.. Girls.. always willing to take the piss on other girls just because a man can date “whoever”. Lol.. Look, if you are a friend to someone (for a long time) and then you watch that person break up and proceed to assume dating the person they left, or who left them, it says a lot about your character. And there is a Guy Code, guys won’t do that. Even if they do, it probably would not go beyond free fucks. Are you saying there are no other men out there asides the ones your ‘friend’ dated? So let me guess, author, are you also for being a side chic too? Is there nothing wrong with that one too?

    1. Haha I second. However if one party or both party ain’t aware of the drill in the past, I guess it’s okay! As for side chick hell to the No! Talk of friends with benefits…… in their mind no strings attached just lay and move on.Hiss! Someone would definitely break that pact fall in love and get hurt.

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