Getting to know your intended partner

getting to know your intended partner

Michael – “Chidinma, you are beautiful.”

Chidinma – “Thank you” (she smiles)


Michael – “You might want to say we are just meeting for the first time after talking on phone for barely one week but I like you, I like what I see and I am in desperate need of a girlfriend. So I am saying and not planning to waste time. Be my girlfriend.” (he throws his hand over Chidinma’s neck, caressing her arm as he drove sensual feelings through her veins)

Chidinma remains silent while staring right into Michael’s eyes.

“I have been single for a while now and here is this handsome looking dude asking me to be his girlfriend. Do I say yes? I don’t even know him. Yes I know he is a friend to my friend’s boyfriend but that’s all I know. Can I jump into this? Something isn’t right”, she thought

Michael – “if you continue staring at me I would be tempted to kiss your lips. Your lips are just too cute and I can’t wait to kiss them

Chidinma smiles and moves her gaze away as fast as possible.

Michael – “are you scared of me kissing you?

Chidinma – “no I am not. I just don’t want to kiss you

Michael – “so what do you say to my proposal?”

Chidinma – “What proposal?

Michael – “Be my girlfriend.”

Chidinma – “Michael, I think you are moving too fast. Let’s take this slow, we barely know each other. Not like we have been chatting for a very long while and finally seeing each other today, no, that’s not the case. It’s just one week. As much as I want a boyfriend, I think we should take this slow.”

Michael – “What different will it make? Waiting 2/3 months before saying yes and saying yes now? I don’t believe in all that. I like you and I want you to be my girlfriend. If you want to know me better then the best way is to be my girl. You can’t know all about me afar.”

Oh my! Should I say yes? I have been single for a while. Will be nice to finally be able to use the word – ‘my boyfriend’ after a long while. But no! I can’t jump into this. I have waited too long to make silly mistakes.

Chidinma – “I know it will be easier to know more about you if I get closer but it doesn’t mean we can’t achieve some level of acquaintance just being friends. It’s a ‘no’ for now. Let’s see how this plays out. I know people meet and kick things off almost immediately but there are different circumstances and scenarios that plays itself out in ways unimaginable. Ours isn’t playing out that way. It has a different vibe. If you really want to be my boyfriend then you can stick around for a while and be open minded while at it. You are good looking but there is more to be in a relationship that looks. ”

The question is: Do you get into a relationship to know someone or you know the person and you want to have a relationship because of or despite what you know?

I would say it works both ways. The later comes to play where there was friendship before taking it to a relationship. But then again, how many ladies/men escape the friendship zone into a relationship proper? I think as individuals, we tend to take for granted people we know all about…Inside out. Until we get to marriage and believe we are stuck with our decision. For better, for worse. Most people prefer solving a puzzle always.

For the former, we see this in most of the relationship we see around us these days. As youths, we tend to act on impulse and have grown more to follow the vibe until it dies.

For both case, it depends on the circumstances surrounding the intended couple meet up. You can meet a partner anywhere – online, offline, underline, in between line, etc. but the connection at the point of meeting will determine which would work for you both.

If you are the type who would love knowing some basics (which is more advisable) about who you want to have a relationship with, like their genotype, temperament, ethnicity, resolve on conflicting issues, routine, etc. then you will want to know the person you want to have a relationship with for a while before popping the question/saying yes. Do not feel bad or create room for regrets. Getting to know your intended partner very normal and not ‘old school’ like some will say.  If s/he loves you, s/he will endure as long as you are not asking them to wait forever for you to decide.

Getting to know your intended partnerHowever, if you are adventurous (which we all get to be at some point in our lives), or find yourself in a case whereby you both go with the flow, there is nothing wrong. But be sure to find out the basic necessary details which could disturb your relationship with your partner at the long run before it’s too late.

If you are all for knowing a bit about your partner before sailing the ship and he or she isn’t on same page and vice versa, be understanding and see how to measure up. Although you have to be sure s/he really likes you enough to ever want to consider having a relationship with you.

Just bear in mind that you cannot truly/fully know a person. It takes time. Whether you are subscribing for prepaid or postpaid, be open minded, think more with your head and not your heart, make logical decisions and be very understanding.

Also know when to call it quits. That’s true maturity.

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