When it comes to married life, you and your spouse make decisions and solve problems on a daily basis. But, have you ever actually had training for how to communicate as a couple? Likely not.
Think of how much easier your married life would be if you could be open and honest with one another about your thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Decision making would be a breeze! Many couples want to improve the way they speak to one another and express themselves, but the thought of going to a marriage counselor or forcing intimacy seems intimidating and uncomfortable.
Solving your marriage communication problems doesn’t have to be a daunting challenge. Instead, why not make it an enjoyable experience?
Here are 6 fun ways to help fix bad communication and lessen marital conflict in your life:
Toss ‘n Talk Ball Game
In this fun “Toss ‘n Talk” ball game, marriage communication problems are tackled through asking questions. For this game, you will need a magic marker and a beach ball.
Using your marker, write various questions out on the ball, spaced evenly. You can do a mix of questions. Switch off from fun and silly sentences to thought-provoking asks. You can even incorporate some “touch communication” in your game.
Some ideas for questions include:
- What’s something you appreciate about me?
- What book or movie has had the biggest impact on you?
- Name a food you could eat every single day.
- Kiss me for 6-seconds with your eyes open.
- How did you feel on our wedding day?
- Is there anything that would make you happier?
To play the game, take turns tossing the ball back and forth. Whatever question your right-hand lands on when you catch the ball is the one you will answer.
The game of charades has been around for ages. Not only is this a fun party activity, it can also help you fix your marriage communication problems.
The theory goes something like this: some couples have difficulty saying things out loud, so why not try and draw them instead?
To play this game, couples will go back and forth drawing something while the other person describes, or “guesses” what it is. Couples are encouraged to describe everything in the picture and then ask questions about it.
Partners might draw scenes of sexual intimacy they would like to see more of in their relationship, illustrate a point of marital conflict, or draw pictures of appreciation toward their spouse.
The fishbowl communication game is a fun way to resolve marital conflict and open up different conversations. To play the game, simply write down various questions on different strips of paper, fold them, and fill an empty fish bowl with the questions.
Take turns picking out questions and answering them honestly. Remember that communication game for couples will only be effective if both partners are willing to be open and honest.
Ideas for questions include:
- Do you want to start a family?
- What do you wish we would do more of sexually?
- Is there anything I’ve done to hurt your feelings recently?
- Are you happy with how much time we spend together?
- What is a song that reminds you of our relationship?
- Have you ever faked an orgasm?
The fishbowl game is great for covering a wide variety of topics and it can be played over the course of several weeks or until the fishbowl is empty.
Play Finish the Story
Like a children’s activity, this communication game is played by having you and your partner take turns writing sentences in a story.
If you are trying to communicate about finances, you can start a story talking about how Anonymous Couple A can do better with their budgeting.
If you want to talk about sexual frequency or other sex-related marital conflicts, you can start a dirty story, going back and forth describing to one another what you enjoy and what you would like to do more of in the bedroom. This can even be used as a secret form of foreplay. It’s a fun and easy way to express yourself to your mate without creating conflict.
Eyes and Hands
This is a fun way to promote touch communication with your partner. This one can feel a little awkward at first, especially if you aren’t used to communicating in this way, so get your giggles out before you start.
To play Eyes and Hands you’ll need to sit across from one another on the couch. Hold each other’s hands and maintain eye-contact. Now fire questions back and forth. For this game, ask silly questions, endeavoring to make one another laugh.
The point of this game is not necessarily to get to know one another better, but to sharpen your ability to ask direct questions and to get comfortable with physical touching.
Listen, Repeat, and Reverse
This is a fantastic game designed to strengthen your communication and understand how your partner perceives problems.
To play this game, have your partner stay quiet and listen as you tell them about an issue you are having. The issue may be about over-spending in the marriage, a lack of date night or emotional intimacy, or feeling overwhelmed by taking care of the house or children.
After you are finished, have your partner repeat the problem to you. You may be surprised, pleasantly or not, by what your partner repeats back to you.
For example, if you say “I am feeling really lonely, like we’re not spending enough time together recently” your partner may repeat, “You’re feeling lonely because you think I’m spending too much time at work.” Their ability to add their own opinions and sentences to your problem will help you understand what they perceive your problem to be.
You may continue by saying: “If I understand you correctly, you believe I’m missing you because you work too much. I don’t have a problem with you tending to your work responsibilities, but I wish we had a regular date night.”
Couples continue going back and forth, explain each other’s sentences over and over until both are on the same page.
Marital conflict is unpleasant, but it can easily be solved with great communication skills. Learning to talk to your spouse does not have to be daunting or uncomfortable. Using these tips, games, and techniques will help you say goodbye to marriage communication problems forever.
by Rachael Pace
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