How to Message Someone on a Dating Site

There are different reasons for joining a dating site. However, most times, you really want to get to know that person, and probably DATE them. If this is your goal, you should take notes of the Do’s and Don’ts of messaging someone on a dating site. It is important to learn how to talk to that person if you want to date or be friends. 


  • Don’t Start With just “Hi”

“Hi” is the conventional greeting everywhere. It never gets better. Many times, the “hi” people can be boring. So, avoid this conventional way of greeting. Avoid starting your conversation with just “Hi”. Be more creative. You can begin with something interesting in the bio of the other person. Or comment on a picture. In anything you do, don’t just say “hi”.

  • Don’t Go Straight to the Point 

Yes, it’s Tinder or Badoo, or whatever. But do you really have to rub it in? Never start with “hey sexy, my name’s Richard. I’m 35 years old, divorced and looking for a sexy lady like you.” Like… WHAT THE HELL!? You are there to meet someone first, not taking the big step of deciding to go straight into a relationship with the person. Some people just want to go on a simple dinner date and talk with someone. It doesn’t have to be an intimate or sexual relationship. Read the person’s bio before you start messaging. Almost, if not every dating site, has the option of the bio of a user. 

  • Don’t Ask What the Person is Doing “ATM”

You really aren’t close to them, so what’s your business? You might not even understand what the person is doing if you’re told, so why bother? Dating sites are for people to meet, and when you both finally meet and agree to keep meeting, you can slide into the WhatsApp of the person and ask what they’re doing. At this stage, the person may trust you enough to tell you all about their current activity. 


  • Start with Something Friendly or Dramatic

Yes, as opposed to the conventional greeting of “hi”, something like “Hello there” or “You really look pretty in that dress. May I know you?” These are accurate greetings that can tap into the senses of a person reading it. The person will be conjured to reply you. Who knows? You may have been the only person able to compliment the dress. That could win you a date. 

  • Ask Realistic Questions 

Questions like “when can I kiss those lips?” when you’re clearly not in the same country go a short way in the conversation. The person will not only get pissed, but they will feel uncomfortable chatting with you. They’d probably even block you. If your aim is to kiss those juicy lips, start with “do you travel?” or “do you like traveling?”, then a conversation about you two meeting each other would pop up. 

  • Ask if the Person Wants to Know You First

This is rare, but you’ll just have to ask. It can be really embarrassing if the other person’s answer is “no”. Better the truth than a lie. You certainly don’t want to waste your time talking to someone who has ‘pity’ on you, or is forming some kind of attitude. Time is too precious to be wasted on people who don’t care about you, so ask. And if the answer is “yes”, then introduce yourself. However, don’t go too far with the introduction, so that you’ll allow the other person to ask questions. 

Do you have any other tips, especially from personal experience? Kindly share them with us in the comment section. Thank you!

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