The Ex Factor – Finale

The Ex Factor - elsieisy blog

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 “…and so the dominoes begin to fall the very moment you peeped out of your mum’s vagina. You probably might not be reading this, had you been born hours later.”

I read over what I just typed again to see if it was error free and I could go back to what I was doing. What exactly was I doing? Packing my things and taking a break from the whole drama in this concrete jungle ‘cos sincerely, it was needed.

Mum had attempted coming over to Lagos but I insisted travelling down to see her. I had used that as the much needed alibi to travel and I had announced it to all my ‘friends’ at the welcome home or was it welcome back party they called the little merrying we had a couple of days ago?

I sat back in my chair, threw my head back over it and let out a deep thoughtful sigh.

“How could she?” I thought to myself. “How could Kate go as far as murder to get ‘the man of her dreams’?… How did she even know Tunde was her ideal man?… Well, I’m not in her dreams though but in every way I had tried looking at it, it has never looked right. That would be the lost classified file that would never be heard from me as far as this whole brain disturbing saga was concerned. I felt very sorry for June. ‘We only know those who we are watching. We never can tell who’s watching us’. Be fast to make acquaintances but really slow to make friends. That’s the word for June because I’m sure she’ll slit Kate’s throat without batting an eyelid if she ever gets to know what Kate did to her.

At times, I just wouldn’t know exactly what to think of the turn of events ever since ‘Believe’ told me at that bar about the arrival of June, his uni days love and the sudden increase of Titi’s affection towards me, also her uni days love. Their relationship should definitely win or vy for an award in the top twenty most complicated relationship. I wouldn’t blame Titi that much though; obviously, she thought the only way to get back at her fiancé who thought he was a smooth criminal was by getting involved in the same crime… with me. It was not going to work though, thanks to my self-control.

But what if Dave hadn’t gotten down with June and there hadn’t been anything scandal on ground, compounded by the fact that June was carrying Believe’s love child? Would that have made this whole story less twisted and complicated than it was? Or had I given in to Titi’s advancements and Dorothy’s dad hadn’t showed up when he did. Would that have made this whole story more twisted and complicated?

The decisions we make today not only affect tomorrow. They can end up shaping what our future looks exactly like and make or mar that future. That’s the power of decisions.

I stood up from my workstation, made my way to the room, stopped at the doorway and looked at my two packed bags.

“Why do I feel like I’m running away from something? And what exactly am I even running away from?”

I guess I’m running from the smoke of the drama, the unending effort to keep everything together, instead of falling apart. The unavoidable ‘Fix it Felix’ character who keeps trying to get everything fixed and making some thought provoking decisions. I could fix everyone’s relationship issues but my own. Everyone was back to their normal lives, settled in their spouse’s nest except me. What does that tell me? I need some lone time? Yeah, exactly.

And if that wasn’t enough, my wrecked car I saw a few days ago confirmed to me that you should rid yourself of everything that would keep plaguing your mind, irrespective of where you are and what you’re doing. Those issues would always keep your mind busy and you can only afford that luxury if you can afford a driver and drown away in thoughts at the owner’s corner before you endanger your life and the lucky ones that happen to choose to have the ride with you.

My phone rang.

“Hey Kate what’s going on?”

Kate did not reply and someone sobbing and sniffing at the other end of the line was all could hear.

“Are you alright Kate?… Can you hear me?”

“Yea… I can hear you. I… I thought about what you told me in the car the day I was bringing you home from the hospital and to be honest with you, my conscience is pricking me pretty badly. I even feel like a husband snatcher just like you said and there’s no one else to talk to. That’s why I’m calling. I’m sorry Jay. I know what I did was very stupid and can’t be heard of.”

I removed my phone from my left ear, looked at the screen and returned it back. I was a bit confused at why Kate was telling me she was sorry when I’m not the one she offended but I know that feeling when you’ve gravely offended someone and you think apologizing to someone else is going to ease the weight of the guilt you feel. It actually works sometimes and at times, it’s just a waste of time.

“I think you should call June and talk to her. Beg her, apologize to her and hope she finds a space in her heart to forgive you. That’s all I can say.”

“No please don’t!” Kate quickly cut in. “Don’t even think about it. I’m dead if June ever gets to know about this. And I beg you in the name of God. Don’t try to fix this for me and don’t forget you gave me your word not to tell anyone about this.”

“And I won’t but please don’t call me about this issue ever again. I don’t wanna hear anything about it. Alright?”

“Ok sir. Take care and have a safe flight.”

“Thanks.” I hung up with a huge sigh.

If June would ever know what Kate did so she could choose her desired form of revenge, only time would tell. If Dave would ever know what Kate did so he could choose his desired form of appreciation, only time would tell. But like they always say, there are always two sides to a story. There’s always the one dying as a result of the war, and there’s always one political idiot, feeding off the war. That’s life and one of its multifaceted appearances. I had given Kate my word and won’t go back on it. So, if anyone was going to hear about Kate’s secret of being the Mother Nature we so very often talked about and appreciated for giving Believe a second chance, it would be from Kate herself but as for me, I think I’ve had enough of this already.

The best advice anyone could give me was the one Kate herself did give me. Any attempt to try to clean up her mess would not only drag me further down the tunnel but would also reveal that the whole tunnel is not a straight one but a maze where you almost can’t get out without the rippers catching up with you. I need to use my head.

I need not feel bad about Lizzy and Dorothy which almost would’ve been my only glitch but I had better be happy that I had not taken Lizzy home to meet my ‘no-nonsense’ mum after which her baby papa then shows up. Mum would’ve frustrated me to death with that scenario and painted a very ugly picture of the whole thing even though she wasn’t there. She does a very pretty job with the mixture of both her sarcasm, and dragging home her point. Although I couldn’t deny that I loved both mother and daughter, I wasn’t the kind of person to put up a fight over something I want which is already owned by someone else. I’d do better to be part of their history than hurt everyone, myself especially with the happy turned sour memories. I know better than that.


3 hours later, I was seated quietly in my seat in the aircraft, gently comforted that my thoughts here would in no way endanger anyone’s life including mine. I let out a wry smile as my phone rang.

“Hello mum”

“How are you?”

“I’m fine. I’m inside the plane already. I should be home in about an hour and half.”

“Alright. Have you prayed?”

“Yes I have.”

“Safe journey my boy.”

“Thanks mum.” I chuckled and shook my head. Shout out to every mum out there, all over the world.

With the announcement of the airline’s departure and the instruction for seatbelts to be fastened, I bid a good farewell to all the escapades of the last couple of months, how one event had led to ten others and cementing the fact that life itself is a stack of dominoes and that statement ‘one thing led to another’ being the briefest definition of life in its totality. The very moment you win the race amongst the one million sperms shot into your mum’s reproductive industry… and so the dominoes begin to fall the very moment you peeped out of your mum’s vagina. You probably might not be reading this, had you been born, hours later.”

Who will heal the doctor, teach the teacher and who will make the comedian laugh?… because we all need fixing.

Mature Minds Talk.

T.E.F © 2014

The Ex Factor series are all the imaginative and fictional work of the writer Ogidi-Olu ‘Jaybee’ Elijah. Any correlation to events or description of any person living or dead is purely coincidental. Thank you.

Visit his blog to read more from him at

Thank You So Much For Reading!


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