The Ex Factor - elsieisy blog

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Desperation, anger, love, compromise. That’s the perfect recipe for a beautiful disaster.

When you said it was over

It shot right through my heart

Why you let these hoes tear what we have right apart

Oh I was so mad,

I should’ve seen it coming right from the start

But you should beware beware beware Of a woman with a broken heart.

The chorus of Big Sean’s hit track “BEWARE” was all Dave could pick up as the music oozed out the strategically placed speakers of KFC. The place he himself had picked to see June after her third text message, requesting they meet and talk things out so no party would ‘get hurt’. He didn’t really fully understand the getting hurt part but assumed it would be whatever one could imagine it to mean.

He closed his eyes for a second and the scene of him and June making love on the night he went to see her in her hotel room flashed right through his mind. He quickly flapped his eyelids open and remembered a phrase he didn’t know or couldn’t remember where he heard it from

“The things we do in the dark, hoping they would never see the light”.

“No matter what this one would take, I’m ready to give it. This ‘thing’ that was done in the dark must never see the light. At any cost and I mean ANY… Forget about the fact that I’m engaged. Forget the fact that my parents won’t hear of me fathering a child of someone they’ve never heard of. I don’t love this girl like that. I now know that the initial gra gra was just the excitement of reunion and nothing more. Oh how stupid could you be David!… David!… You had all the resources for avoiding a scenario like this at your disposal but instead, you disposed off all of them and majestically walked into a trap. The slimy return effect of lust.”

His phone broke his thought stream.

“Hi love” he said just as he had pinched the reception button on his earpiece and looked like someone holding a conversation with spirits or simply thinking out loud.

“I told you I was going to Simon’s place… No, you must have forgotten. I’m almost there though. What?!… You have a feeling I’m lying?… Why would I wanna lie about my whereabouts? God forbid if something bad happens and you start looking for me at the wrong place. You have to believe me abeg oh!… I’ll talk to you as soon as I’m through there, probably we could hang out and that is if there’s still time and you’re not busy yourself… Alright. Take care of you for me… I love you”. Dave was a terrible liar and he knew sometimes, even an eleven year old girl would do far better. As usual for him after telling a lie, he was beginning to get nervous and a bit impatient.

“Oh lord! Help me not to strangle this girl here and help her not to toy with my red button” he thought to himself as he sat on the edge of his chair in the far end of the eatery. He took a quick glance at his watch for the third time and just as he picked up his phone, June walked in.

Dave adjusted himself in his seat, rolled both palm over his shirt and placed his left elbow on the table while his thumb and index finger did the little task of stroking his beard to probably help him keep calm or make him look like he was.

“I’m sorry dear. Hope I didn’t keep you waiting for too long”

“Go straight to the point. You’re here now”

“Why being so harsh?… Are we quarreling?” June’s voice had a tone of persuasion but more of sarcasm.

“It depends”


Before replying, Dave looked at June like she wasn’t the same June he had being craving to meet some few weeks ago. Like she was a changeling who had suddenly and unexpectedly shed her harbouring skin. He just suddenly detested her and everything she stood for. It wasn’t like an intentional or self-wrought hatred, the feeling just stirred up right from his subconscious and it was beginning to get out of even his own control.

“It depends on what we have to discuss here. I wouldn’t want us to waste our precious time or merry go round believe me. You’re pregnant and I’m the father. I’m engaged and you know that. What is the way out cos if you harbour any thought that the pregnancy would or could be your ticket to our coming back together, I’ll ask you to drink a few glasses of water and think again. Whatever you -“

“Wait David!” June cut in, looking very calm and composed. “I know you are engaged and I’m not trying to key you down or anything. I’m here for the same purpose as you; to find a solution. What’s the next step cos if you harbor any thought that there’s the slightest chance of me committing abortion, I’ll ask you to drink a few glasses of water and think again.”

Dave clenched his teeth together. His looks had the mixture of anger and irritation. A slim dark guy in uniform was walking past and stopped.

“Can I get you anything sir and ma?”

All Dave had to do was look up and lock his gaze with his. The message was clear. The slim staff adjusted his collar button and moved on.

Dave looked at June for a few seconds and continued.

“If I’m not fathering this baby and you’re not aborting, what is the middle ground here?”

A mischievous smile very slowly formed on June’s lips. Her confidence and composure overwhelmed Dave where he sat and in contrast, she had a look of pity and compassion. Her looks made him more nervous.

“Ok dear, what do you want me to do? Tell me anything you have in mind but like I said, no abortion… It’s one of the scariest thing on a woman’s path and I’m not ready to die for you or us. I’m sure you’ll eat rice and chicken and even drink beer at my funeral. I have a close friend I lost on the abortion bed, so don’t be so surprised its not even amongst the options. Asides, to me it’s a sin against God and humanity. Does one know the stress God goes through to put a child in the belly and program what he or she would become in life? You’ll just wake up one day and put all those effort to waste by murdering the baby without even knowing if he’s the president or an activist that would one day bring world peace… You would never have heard the name Abraham Lincoln, had his mother gone ahead to abort him when she contemplated it, and some other notable people. Dave, I know you must have thought we would be sitting here, discussing how much removing a baby would cost but if that was the case, we wouldn’t even be sitting here at all. I have enough money to remove ten babies. I’m sorry to disappoint you but I’ve personally signed a petition on the eradication of that evil called abortion. Please let’s approach this very delicate issue from a different and more matured point of view. I beg you”

Dave sat quietly as he listened to June’s little speech. Her countenance and the calmness in her response was just so soothing. It was like the exact quantity of water required to quench the fire burning in him.

To fight a war, men depend on their weapons and strength, while all a woman could need are her words.

“I’m sorry for my entire attitude earlier June. I really am, believe me. I was just a bit confused and unsettled. I’m a guy and I hope you understand how off guard this kind of thing can catch someone.”

“It’s ok Dee. Let’s just come to terms and make a pact.”

Dave made a quick glance at his watch.

“So asides removing the -“

“Aborting the baby.” June chipped in

“Yes aborting the baby, what can we do instead?”

“You’re the guy. Think. Whatever you decide, it’s your call”

Dave dropped his head for a few minutes as his brain rattled hard for what could be the best solution for both parties which would save them from ‘getting hurt’. He looked straight at the ceiling and thought some more and just like an eureka moment, he jerked forward his seat.

“I got it”

“Ok?… So what’s it?” June replied with an eager expression and faint smile.

“If you wanna hear it, gimme your ear. The walls have ears”

June leaned over and made her right ear close enough to Dave’s mouth, allowing him to whisper the answer he got directly into it before the wall’s ears could pick it up.

“Not bad. Not bad at all.” June said as she removed her ears and returned back to her position. “Let’s see how that pans out”

“The only way it won’t turn out well is if you don’t follow the script and you intentionally want to disappoint me”

June let out a small laugh.

“I won’t want to disappoint you. Would I?”

June’s phone rang as they shared one cause of laughter; something that hadn’t happened in a while. She hit the green space on the screen as she flipped back her hair and kissed the phone to her right ear. Dave continued to smile in his seat while he excused her.

“Hello babes. Howfar?… Oh you got my text?… Thanks again for the other time. I just downloaded the second episode of scandal’s third season through that same link you gave me. This Olivia pope is just too much… What?!… I’m not busy oh. I’m just hanging out with a friend. I’m at ICM. Yea… That KFC side… It won’t be bad if you can come around now then your boyfriend can meet us here… Mini party loading. Hahaha!… No wahala. Take care now… Later.”

Be careful where you choose to trade so you don’t trade in a land where the seller is being sold with the goods.

Mature Minds Talk.

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  1. Choi… Be careful where you choose to trade so you don’t trade in a land where the seller is being sold with the goods.


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