Aunty, How Tight is your VeeJayJay?

Aunty, How Tight is your VeeJayJay? - elsieisy blog

Written by  Sally Dadzie

Today, I want to talk about vaginas, about how tight or loose they can be. If you’re a guy, please hang around. You might learn a thing or two, because what prompted this article was a discussion I had with an ill-informed friend. It was a hot argument in which he held that a woman having too much sex or many sexual partners causes her vagina walls to be loose.

I begged to differ, but brother said he was talking from experience. And that is why he doesn’t make love to his wife always.

*rolling my eyes.

How then does he handle his randiness? Brother is yet to answer me. I am waiting for his answer.

Interestingly, he is not part of a minority when it comes to his view. That was how one uncle on Twitter referred to the vagina as a fan belt. Forget the backlash he got. He will not try himself again. But all the same, a lot of people (men, especially) hold that women who have slept with many partners have loose vaginas and that virgins, naturally, are tight.

Well, I hate to burst your bubble, if you’re part of that school of thought. It is not true. That’s an old myth.

First, it should be noted that vaginas, like penises, come in different shapes, sizes and elasticities (if there’s such a word).  The vaginal musculature is elastic, and this means it contracts naturally and resumes its normal size and shape after sexual intercourse and childbirth – with exceptions, which are multiple childbirths and age.

Men also, should note that they have a hand in how tight or how loose a vagina can be during sex. Foreplay is very important.

“During arousal the vagina expands in anticipation of being penetrated,” explains Dr. Cadell of founder of “Then the vagina tightens around the penis to give both the man and woman more sexual satisfaction.”

Hence, if a woman is too tight during intercourse, it could be that she is not fully aroused. And if she is not aroused, sex may become painful. In the same way, she might be fully aroused and the walls then stretch out to accommodate the man. This does not mean she is loose. She is simply lubricated enough for sex. So, uncle, you should feel flattered that she’s super wet for you.

But a lot of men do not understand this. I have read stories online of wives coming to public forums to seek help over the issue of being too ‘wet’ or too ‘wide’ for their husbands.

“Oga says I’m wet anyhow. He’s not enjoying it. Can you tell me any products I can use to make me tight and dry?’

And people start to give advice:

“Use alum”

“Use key soap”

And a bunch of other scary stuff. One woman even lamented that her husband forces his way in just so that he can feel that tightness, ignoring the injuries he causes her.


Yes, having a big man or being used to having big men on a constant can become an issue when a woman eventually has sex with someone who is less endowed. However, if she continues with him, her walls will shrink back to fit him. But this doesn’t entirely mean that he cannot enjoy sex with her. If he tries a different position he will ‘feel’ her. So a point to note is that a man might be too thin for a woman.

Another important thing to consider is how a woman controls her vaginal walls. Aunty, you cannot be having sex with your man and just open your legs like that without helping. Think of your vagina as a hand, giving the penis a handjob. Always squeeze when it goes in. This increases sexual pleasure for your man and for you. And with time, it makes you tighter. You will get to a point that you can even get him to come by just one squeeze. How do you achieve this? Kegel exercises. They’re simple to do and no one will know what’s going on when you do them.

Here’s how you train – when you go for a pee, stop it midstream and hold as much as you can. That manner in which you stopped it is the manner in which you should do your Kegels. It’s the same muscles you’re exercising. Squeeze and hold. Do it anywhere, at any time. As you grow older, your walls would begin to lose their elasticity. Kegels during your younger years can ensure that you stay in pristine shape.

“With aging, as estrogen levels diminish, the vaginal walls become thinner and less elastic, so the muscles begin to lose their tautness,” Dr. Cadell said. “Kegel exercises can always help tone and tighten the vagina, so it’s never too late. They also help to prevent urinary incontinence, can enhance orgasmic awareness, and even help a woman to ejaculate.”

There are other natural ways to tighten your vagina and you can read them in this article I wrote HERE. But please, do not put alum down there.

Also, Ben Wa balls can help. If you just had a baby and you feel you need your elasticity back, please click on this link to buy yours.

Sexual positions that can help increase tightness for vaginal walls involve the woman having her legs clamped together. The best of this is having her lying face down with her legs closed. It should guarantee tightness.

I think I’ll stop here, having let out what is on my mind this afternoon. Sex is not my area of expertise but I just felt I needed to school some people on the elasticity of the vagina having noticed that there is huge ignorance on the topic.

I hope this helps a couple out there and boosts someone’s ego about how her box feels.

This post was first published on

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  1. This should hopefully illuminate the darkness of his friend in the opening paragraph of this piece

  2. Yes, having a big man or being used to having big men on a constant can become an issue when a woman eventually has sex with someone who is less endowed…this point here means men are not totally wrong though. But thanks for explaining better

  3. This kegels- I have heard of but really did not know what it meant or how it is done. Thanks for shedding some light.?

  4. It really helped when you said that multiple childbirth can affect the vaginal musculature and its elasticity. This explains why my aunt feels like her intimate area had gone loose over the years of giving birth to three kids. Maybe we can consult an OB-GYN together and see if getting vaginal rejuvenation would help.

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