Last week, I was going through my timeline on Twitter (Follow me on twitter @elsieisy) when I saw a tweet which goes thus:

Why do people cheat?

And the only response that came to mind was: ‘Because they do not understand commitment or the commitment in the relationship has been compromised.”

Commitment is the state of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc. but in this case, it’s being committed to a person. If you are committed to your partner and your relationship, then your dedication and focus will be undivided and glaring. As serious and important as commitment is and sounds, it cannot be forced. It is a mutual agreement and understanding. Are you in a committed relationship or just in some other type of relationship? I believe you will be able to answer the question after reading through the signs below:

1. You Spend Quality Time Together

Spending lots of quality time together is a sign of being in a committed relationship. This does not mean you spend your working hours with each other but as little as the time left over after having a long busy working day is, you still spare time to be with your partner. In some cases, you will rather chill with your partner than go hang out with the boys or the girls. This is not to say you cut off your friends but spending quality time with your significant other is a sign that you are committed to your partner. That you and your partner choose to make time for each other on a regular basis is a sign that you are both committed.

2.  You Enhance Each Other’s lives and circles

If you are in a relationship where you have to lose yourself because of your partner, then you are in a dangerous relationship and not a committed relationship. In a committed relationship, your partner’s growth and success is major for you. This is something that demarcates a committed relationship from a weak one. The balance in your personal time, social life and your relationship is very important for a healthy companion. If you are not ready or happy to see your partner grow and vice versa, then you are not in a committed relationship. You should be nice to each other’s friends and circle.

3.  You Plan for the Future Together

When you’re single you can make decisions based on your wants alone. In a committed relationship, however, it matters what the other person wants to do and where they see themselves in the future. So if you and your partner are making plans together, there’s a good likelihood that your relationship is in for the long haul.

4.   You Go Out of Your Way for One Another

When going out of your way for your partner is less effort, you’ve got yourself a keeper and you’re definitely committed.

5.   You Vacation Together

Vacations usually happen over the course of several days and can sometimes take several weeks, so if you’re going to take company along you’ll want to make sure you really like them. You’re also making memories that last for a lifetime. Generally speaking, people who take vacations together not only enjoy each other’s company, but are happy to make memories together, so if you take vacations together it’s a good sign that you and your love are truly committed.

6.  You Think About Each Other Before Making Big Decisions

When you make your big decisions based on the other person’s situation, then you are in a committed relationship. When they start making changes to their routines and behaviors based on your beliefs, situation, or circumstance there’s no doubt that they’re committed.

7.  Don’t Shun Social Media Shout-Outs

As petty as this may look to some, in this day and age, it is a major commitment. It’s no surprise that one of the first signs of commitment tends to be a public announcement on some form of social media. How would you feel if your girlfriend or boyfriend totally shuns your lovely written shout out only to claim they did not see it? I mean, if you don’t check my page once a day or at most, once in 3 days and you are active of social media, what are we doing?  However, if you both have mutually agreed to keep your relationship away from social media then there is no problem.

8. You Keep Tab Of Each Other’s Special/Big Day

If you forget your partner’s significant and important days or events then your commitment is highly questionable. It does not just have to be anniversaries and the likes. Example: your partner’s first day at a new job or new business opportunity should be a big deal for you. Call or be there where necessary and wish them well. Let the, know their success is your success. You remember important details

9.   You Invest Together

I think this is one major step that even some married couples don’t get to. But if you have this in your relationship then you are committed. Getting out of such investments is even harder than getting out of a committed relationship. So if you both carry each other along in these investments then I am glad you are both in it for a long time.

10. Conversations are always interesting

When you’re in a “committed relationship”, the conversations never get old or boring. Whether it’s about work, or friends, or family, or just plain everyday routine, every conversation keeps on extending without the two of you knowing.

11. You Look Up To and Learn From One Another

One of the best parts of being in a committed relationship is that you show all of your vulnerabilities and learn from one another. You look up to each other in an enviable way. When you truly love someone, you let your guard down, you let go of your ego, you don’t mind learning because you know they will never teach you something that’s bad for you.

12. Transparency

In a committed relationship, you feel completely transparent with each other. Complete transparency is almost impossible to achieve, because we are all very insecure people in general. But if you love each other enough to forget the insecurities and be completely open and transparent with one another, that’s when you’re in a truly committed relationship with each other. And I’m not just talking about the small insecurities here, I’m talking about everything else, when you two tell each other intimate things about yourself, things that only seemed appropriate when you were at the doctor’s office, that’s complete transparency.

Remember it takes two. I am sure you can tell if you are in a committed relationship or not. You can now also tell if the commitment in your relationship is toxic or healthy. In being committed, be sure you are not being played. Stay Woke!