After 3 years of dating, it finally happened. She was married to her Taiwo. She took in a deep breath and glanced up at the clock. 9:15pm! So many thoughts ran through Tope’s head. “Am I sexy enough? What if he’s too stressed from all the celebration? Can a man even be too tired for sex?” Her wedding night – the D-Day. It absolutely has to be magical!
Tope opened the bathroom door nervously. There he was, all ready for some action. She smiled, in relief. Climbed to the bed and went under the duvet.
45 minutes later! Tope still hasn’t climaxed. Taiwo was becoming very concerned, and distracted. Was he not satisfying her? What was he doing wrong? No other woman he’d been with had taken this long? If he climaxes before she does, would she hold it against him? The whole thing was no longer enjoyable for him anymore; his mind had stopped being in it about 20 minutes ago.
The last time, we were talking about men who take too long to orgasm. Now we are turning our lens to women. The general thinking is that women ‘naturally’ struggle with climaxing – well, at least they struggle much more than men. True, but women who know their body well are often lucky enough to orgasm quite easily and regularly – and even have multiples of it. Sadly, many more women have to either fake it, or deal with exasperated partners who are completely at loss on how to bring them to climax.
Anorgasmia (AO) is a condition of recurrent difficulty, delay in, or absence of attaining orgasm even after sufficient sexual stimulation. Anorgasmia thus causes personal distress, both for the woman who can’t orgasm and her partner who feels inadequate to please her. AO is a common occurrence, affecting a significant number of women. Also, how one orgasms often change with age, lifestyle, medical issues (diabetes), or medications.
If you’re among the lucky ladies who can climax at the snap of the finger, then there is no need for worry. However, if you’re bothered by your lack of orgasm, or it happens too infrequently for your liking, talk to your doctor or talk to us at Slide Safe.
Not everyone suffers anorgasmia the same way:
- With generalized anorgasmia, you won’t be able to orgasm in any situation or with any partner.
- If you have acquired anorgasmia, it means you used to have orgasms but now you find it difficult to.
- Women who have lifelong anorgasmia have never experienced an orgasm.
- While those with situational anorgasmia are able to orgasm only during certain circumstances, such as during oral sex or with a certain partner.
But What Causes It?
There are quite a lot of things that can cause anorgasmia:
- Gynecological issues like hysterectomy, cancer surgeries, uncomfortable or painful intercourse
- Some medications, like blood pressure medications and antidepressants, can interfere with orgasm
- Too much alcohol or excessive smoking
- Getting older. As you age, changes in your anatomy can affect your sexuality. Menopause can decrease blood flow to the vagina and clitoris, which can delay or stop orgasm entirely
- Insufficient foreplay
- Guilt about enjoying sexual experiences as a result of cultural and religious beliefs
- Poor communication of sexual needs and preferences.
- Fear of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infection
- Sexual or emotional abuse, past or present
- Anxiety or depression.
- Lack of connection with your partner.
- Stress; especially from Nigerian weddings – this could have been the resultant effect of Tope’s inability to climax.
Know Your Body
Anorgasmia can be difficult to treat. Your treatment plan will depend solely on the underlying cause of your symptoms. So, to begin with, you must understand your body. Know how and where you like being touched. Or you can try different types of sex positions that increases sexual stimulation. If sex is painful because of vagina dryness, using water-based lubricant during sex solves that problem. All our Slide Safe packs contain water-based lubricants in them. So, grab one directly from our store or Jumia.
However, for some women, the lack of orgasm may be because of issues in a relationship. So, by improving communication with your partner, or going through relationship counseling, you can learn to orgasm. You can also try using female condoms with water-based lubricants. Female condoms are known to increase the stimulation of the walls of the vagina, and increase sexual pleasure.
Now, if this article has been of help to you, or someone you know, you can thank MerDroits LTD by purchasing any pack of Slide Safe.
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