You know all those people that make your skin crawl and the hairs on the back of your neck stand abi? Yes those people… Evil people.
You know someone is a toxic friend if:
You feel bad about yourself when you speak with them or are around them
They seem to be more comfortable being friends with you when you are down
They struggle to be happy and celebrate your success and view your gains as something missing in their own life
They encourage you to stay in relationships or get into relationships that are damaging or potentially damaging
They hit on your partner
They recycle you amongst their friends cos they can’t have you for themselves
They think you’re crazy simply cos you have standards and know what you want
They seek to damage your relationships with friends and family…..Infact they are friend stealers
A toxic friendship is the kind of relationship that has the ability to permeate negatively into other areas of your life and is most likely to affect your self-esteem. A toxic friend tends to be the one with a tight smile trying to orchestrate your demise under a pretence of ‘friendship’. Some seem not to recognise their behaviour because they have negative beliefs and behaviours about themselves and what friendship actually means, whereas others know exactly what they are doing and act out of jealousy, envy, and being generally screwed up. As long as they are concerned, as long as they are down, you are going to be down and even when they are up, they just still want to see you down.
When you have toxic friendships, you would often feel uncertain and playback many conversations or scenes in your mind as you are worried that you may be paranoid that your friend is being unkind. Much of what these ‘toxic’ friends do can be subtle or not outright cruel so you might end up doubting yourself. They take a firmer hold on you if you are already insecure or they are your only friend, or one of your few friends. Because they come in a package of ‘friendship’, it can be a bit difficult to ascertain whether they are truly friend or foe.
Whilst I do not deny that people generally can’t ‘make’ you do something, there is a lot to be said for the person that takes advantage of the fact that you’re already down, already insecure. And hence susceptible to being manipulated.
Whatever may be the case, if you find yourself around someone who seems happier and smiles more when you’re down, you know you’re in a toxic territory. True friendships means you can be there when they are up as well as when they are down and share each others success and struggle stories.
Remember friendship is not by force. As the saying goes, ‘your network is your net worth’. If that person isn’t adding valuable resource to your life then they got to go.