Nobody said life would be easy. As a matter of fact, if you are going to remain in this world (not just about succeeding), you will face challenge and obstacle. Your obstacle and challenge will come in different form – Jealousy, lies, slander, allegation, pain, betrayal, etc. but what truly matters is your reactions and how you rise above it all.
Last week was one of those weeks for me. The challenge of last week came in every form imaginable. Very few people caught a wind of the slander, jealousy, allegation and betrayal I had to ignore last week on Facebook by a woman who reached out to me herself for a show on her platform. In a bid to defend an action of hers which didn’t need defending, she said a lot of things that didn’t make sense about my person on social media, thereby affirming the fact that “many are mad, few are roaming”, while contradicting her praises on my person which she also shared on social media on the 11th of August 2016.
Thursday 17th of Jan 2017, to be precise, was a crazy day, emotions went high and low. But I kept quiet amidst the madness. I had my own side of the story to share, but I kept quiet. It all goes to show how much I have grown. Thinking of the person I was about 3-4years ago, my silence will definitely not be a response. I was pushed to speak, respond, share my story, counter her lies and make her look very stupid but I paused, I held myself back a lot. As much as it is still very surprising that I could do that, here are the things which helped me stay calm amidst the storm:
Is it worth it?
I asked myself these question over and over again – is it worth it? Will my response to this woman worth it? Is her reputation worth my response? Will this response truly vindicate me or just make me play in the mud with a pig? Do I need such bad controversy? Is responding to her words the way forward? How will my response affect my personality and brand? … With each attempt at making a Facebook update to respond, I had a question which its genuine answer held me back. My mother taught me well.
No matter what you do, how much you have, how many people follow what you do, people who look up to you, no matter what you think you are, you need good people around you. When I say good people, I do not mean ‘seeming good intention people’, I mean people who will dish the truth, no matter how bitter it is. People who will help you focus…eyes on the ball. You do not need people who will say the bitter truth about you behind while singing your praises in public. Unfortunately, the woman who decided to make silly updates about my person had too many back stabbing bitches jeering her on while tell me something totally different about her person. At that point, all I wanted to do was hug my friends, listen to them and smile for having them in my life. They meant much more to me at that point than whatever number of followers some dumb Facebook fight can bring me.
Finding and recognising the hidden lessons:
In every obstacle and challenge, there are hidden lessons. It may be hard to find the lesson but take out time, sit down and find them. The worst thing that can happen is not taking at least one lesson with you as you rise above your obstacle. So while the brouhaha was on going, I sat down with a bottle of red wine and started reminiscing. I played the whole encounter with the woman in my head from beginning to end, I smiled, laughed, shook my head and smiled some more, while picking the lessons.
Think of the good times.
Yes, good times. There is something about doing good or bad – it always comes back to you. Yes she reached out to me to have my show on her platform, I put in all I could to make sure people listened. About 3months down the line, there was an agreement (though not written) which meant that whatever advert on my show, be it from them or me, I will have to make do with 30% while the platform gets 70%. I spiced up the show to make it worth anybody’s Data thereby dragging massive traffic to a platform she manages but you know what? It brought me exposure, experience, kudos and recognition. So while she was ranting to people who did not ask her questions or really care about her, I was basking in the euphoria of a wonderful work done, great 10months and told myself I can do much more with my dedication, zeal and ideas. Which takes me to my next point…
I was grateful for the time, though with so many challenges, I was truly grateful and for that very reason…
I thought about what my response will further do to her personality and her shaky reputation. I kept quiet cos I respect her. I still do, though not in the same capacity I used to, but I do.
Then I got busy…
While it seemed like a road has been closed, I got busy clearing different roads, opening other doors I was not paying attention to and opening windows for proper ventilation. I relaxed and started planning. At the end of the second day, I had come up with an awesome plan for a very clear vision. I became grateful for the storm because it was then clear to me that I was being too comfortable and I needed to be moved. I cannot wait for you all to see the result. I am truly grateful to God for my past, present and the future.
There is time for everything. While I chose to be quiet at the time, it doesn’t mean there won’t be a better time to speak. There is time for everything and there will be time to share experience if it is ever meant to be shared. I may not be religious but I am very spiritual and I believe that nothing happens for nothing, nothing happens by chance.
So what are you going through and how do you plan to respond? Remember the best response will always be success. I will not say you always need to be quiet. There are times you give heat for heat, there were times I have and never regretted it. But be sure it is worth it and the right response for the time.