By Samuel Oluwatobi Olatunji.
“Baby boy, did you call me?” “Nope… I didn’t” “Are you sure? I actually heard someone calling my name” “Well, maybe your Chi is calling you, and you need to pick up the phone” “Which stupid Chi? The only Chi that will call me is Chineke in Jesus’name” “Ok, my beloved Reverend Sister, go and pick up Chineke’s call then” “I hope it’s not me you are calling Reverend Sister?” “You ke? Not at all… It is the lady wearing the dress you are wearing and talking to me now that I am talking to” “You’re just a clown, I swear” “Thank you. I know who I am” “And who are you?” “The boyfriend of a Reverend Sister” “Chai! Where did I really get you from?” “Should we go to heaven to ask God?” “Go first, I will come and join you… Remember God created man first” “Nah… kolewerk… It’s ladies first please” “But you made the suggestion now… You’re meant to lead the way” “ok, oya follow follow follow the ladder to heaven…” “which ladder are you following to heaven? You better go and find something reasonable to do with your life, and stop wasting it here” “you don’t want to go to heaven again?” “biko, leave me alone…” “Why you carry carry fire, fire for your head o? Is that how we use to do? Someone cannot play with you?” “biko stop spoiling people’s songs and let me hear better sound around… I beg you” “Wait, what’s wrong with you sef? Is it because you are pregnant that you are just doing anyhow?” “Wait, wait, wait, who is pregnant again?” “You of course…” “Are you sure? Do you have proof?” “Which kind jamb question be that? You told me two weeks ago that you are pregnant, remember?” “Me? Maybe I was speaking in future tense, or I was in a trance… I can’t be pregnant in this recession period, especially for a poor stupid boy like you” “Jehovah! Egbami! You mean you fooled me?” “Well, I can do whatever I like…” “Do you know I feel like slapping you right now?” “Do you also know that I can remove the wall and use it to slap anyone that dares to slap me?” “I just wish I can just HATE you!” “Me too, love! The feeling is very mutual” “Really? You are very annoying, really” “Well, everyone knows that you are more annoying, and I am only giving you a taste of your bile” “Damn it!” “Don’t punch the wall too much o biko… let me break up with you first… You know you can’t caress me with broken fingers… hahahahahaha” “You think it is the wall I am punching, but I am actually punching your face” “Wow…. That’s really interesting… but wait, are we really fighting?” “No, we are playing tinko-tinko in the garden of Eden… stupid question!” “Wow… so we can fight? That’s really interesting o” “if you talk too much, I will divert this punch to your real face o” “ah, this is not my real face o… my real face is there on the wall… enjoy your punch!” “seriously? Just keep quite!” “I will try to… anyway, I just remembered I need to see a friend quickly, so see you later! Enjoy your punch! I pray the wall doesn’t get angry and punch back in Jesus’ name!” “you have one second to leave…” “hahahahahahah…. Ok, sir… Au revoir!”Click HERE for previous parts of Scribbles of Our Stupidity!!!
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