By Samuel Oluwatobi Olatunji
Click HERE for part 1“Rain, rain, go away…”“Ah… you haven’t abandoned your childhood? Or your childhood hasn’t abandoned you?”“Whatever… I’m just cold and I want this rain to stop…”“Wow. Interesting. I have a solution for you…”“Wow… you’re such a sweetheart… what’s the solution? I hope it is something romantic?”“Well, it’s as romantic as a wedding cake…”“Hmmm… so what is it? What is it?”“Guess…”“Hmmm… you know I’m not good at guessing? Well, you want to make hot tea and toast bread for me, I guess? Awwwww….”“Hmm.. Josephine the dreamer girl… you are really not good at guessing…”“Are you trying to insult me now?”“No ooo… me? Insult you? Nah… I’m not that jobless…”“So what are you saying exactly?”“Well, I am trying to tell you the solution to your cold”“Go straight to the point and stop beating round the bush”“Well… it is really simple…”“Okay?”“What you need is a microwave”“To do what? Bake?”“Yes, bake, or more appropriately, warm”“Warm what?”“What kind of a question is that?”“I don’t understand you na”“Seriously? Are you sure your ears are not translating my words into French? Probably I should speak French, maybe they will translate it to English? Bonjour, mademoiselle… comment ça va?”“Stop being a clown for Christ’ sake”“Ok, forgive me… I was just trying to provide the solution to your cold”“Provide it in straightforward English, and get out of this room!”“Yes, ma’am… well, it is simple. Very simple. As simple as ABC…”“Stop beating about the bush oooo, nonsense boy!”“Ok… ok… ok… well, since you have a microwave, you can simply warm yourself, and the cold will be gone…”“Sorry, rewind… what did you say?”“I say you can warm……….. Jesus!!!!!!!!!! Were you trying to kill mosquito on my cheek?”“Oh, I thought you are even the mosquito… you better get out of this room before I fully kill you… stupid boy!”“Wow… you will pay for this ooo… I must revenge… don’t worry, I will be back… I will definitely be back…”“Get out of here jare! Stupid son of the soil!”
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