A certain 3 days Love Challenge went round Facebook about 3weeks ago or thereabout, for married couples and our very own Tosin Ayo was thrown the challenge. Of course he delivered and made a lot of sense. I have decided to share his 3days Love Challenge posts here with you. Married or intending to get married, you should read this. He started with ‘The law of attention’. Remember to share:
This is me accepting the love challenge thrown at me by the Purpose Preacher himself, Adelusi Oluwatobi, a respectable Teacher of the word, sound Advocate and a brilliant Law Teacher to write about practical lessons on love and marriage to assist our readers in their emotional and marital journeys.
“If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year, he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married”- Deuteronomy 24:5 New International Version.
This scripture right here underscores the whole essence of the law of attention. I have carefully chosen this theme because the most important need of women in marriage is Attention.
This portion of the Bible spells out the daunting job of a husband without the rigour of distraction. Don’t be a lawn or Street light If you are married. Stay at home during weekends, let your children know you. Befriend your wife and pay her attention. It is evil for your children to argue about your complexion because they have never seen you in day time, but always in the dark. It is a man’s job description to even abandon his career for his marriage by paying attention and bringing her undiluted happiness. Thus, until a man is ready to give it all, pay total attention to the exclusion of all others (job, side chics and risky endeavour), he is not yet ripe for marriage.
I remember asking an elderly married female friend who was about to damn the consequences and on the brink of cheating on her uncaring husband the five important things a married woman needed the most in their order of significance and her response shocked me. She said 1. Attention. 2. Attention. 3. Attention. 4. Attention. 5. Attention.
You might wonder why anyone might crave attention more than money. She went further to clarify by breaking it down into Emotional Attention, Physical Attention, Financial Attention, Sexual Attention and Spiritual Attention.
Biblically, the groom is commended to leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife. This is a spiritual injunction to all men to forsake all others and partake of their women wholeheartedly. If you are indeed in a marital union with your wife, it’s time you participated.
Some men cannot pay money, but at least they should pay attention. Attention is not an issue for people in love during dating and courtship when the fire of passion is literally burning and the lovers cannot keep their hands away from one another, but as soon as marriage ensues after the classic law of ‘see finish’ beckons, the man has to pay a lot of attention like his life depends on it.
A husband who cannot make his woman melt like honey is an insect. Sexual proficiency is a needed attribute for husband’s duties. If you lack money, at least give some honey. Without both, a man is no more than a wasted savage.
Many will contend that why is my focus on men alone, it’s because women are natural lovers and attention – payers. Unless there are underlying issues that made a woman in love to stop paying attention, a woman’s love and attention is often with her husband.
Husbands are the most heinous defaulters in the debt of attention. If attention was a wage, many men will die poor and unremunerating. So many men are too preoccupied with talking back at their wives or correcting them, that they forget to just pay attention, watch over them, dote on them and listen.
It can be quite daunting listening to one’s wife and paying attention always, but then, love is sacrifice or nothing. If you truly love your woman, then, you would pay attention to her. An average woman talks as twice as an average man, but an average husband must be able to do twice as listen. Your job is easy, just listen.
Married men must conscientiously pay attention to the wives of their youth, lest their marriage lose its fine steam of fire. Wives are like firewood, If left unattended to, they go out. A woman who craves attention from her man is a cheat-in-waiting. Women are naturally dependent creatures and attention-needing beings. Women are not Dettol, If you don’t give them the attention, someone else will.
Your wife is more likely to cheat on you If you deprive her of attention than she will If you deprive her of money. Money is not everything. Forsake your smart phone for some time and be smart. Don’t look too much at your cell and lose your wife to those willing to pay her attention, drill her well and take her to hell and back. The most vulnerable married woman is the woman who needs attention. Distraction is the thief of attention, don’t be the culprit. However, a good and Godly woman should be able to bear it all irrespective of the lack of attention from her husband. Cheating is bad and there is no excuse for infidelity.
Finally, the Law of attention states that a woman is naturally drafted to be attentive to men who pay her attention irrespective of whether he is her husband or not. Will you pay attention? God bless your marriages.
Image – Tosin Ayo & Wife.