I am keeping it for my husband

i am keeping it for my husband

Daily as I live this beautiful life of mine, one gets to hear the most obscene things which keeps me wondering if I am even meant for this planet at all or its just simply a planet with different species within the human beings. I think scientists needs to divert their attention from looking for whatever outside this planet earth to carrying out experiments on how many species of human there is. Don’t give me the ‘we are all human being’ talk abeg. I am different. I am probably from a higher specie or maybe lower, who cares? Just name us biko!

How do I share this amebo with you all sef?…ok, just be very attentive.

I am very horrible with make-up. (Pause, don’t add me somewhere below beyonce on that list, that will be a contrasting case, I mean I don’t know how to apply makeup)

Ok, I meant two things though.

  1. I don’t like make-up, they are just too heavy and time consuming.
  2. I don’t know how to apply them (I am learning though, not in a school o! learning on my face! Atleast I have to learn for packaging sake and to snap more IG pictures…hehehe abi wetin remain? Abegi!)

I have this friend whom I am very proud of right now, she runs her own make-up thingy which she has called ‘Mirrors & Brushes’ (cute name it is). Now, I am not just excited about what she’s doing, I am even more excited that she has chosen something I know she loves doing. That’s one vital key to happiness.

Back to the gist

This sweet friend of mine (Ebere) takes it upon herself to carry my make-up-less life matter on her head just as much as Banke (another sweet friend of mine) does. Their wahala plenty sef. Shebi they said, when you have a friend, you find out what he or she likes/dislikes then you accept them for who they are ba? Not my own friends o. Chineke le kwa anya!

This faithful Tuesday evening, on one of my visits to her place accompanied by another wahala friend (Dhoney), Ebere decides to touch my eyebrow (ofcourse we know that led to more make-up even though I made sure it wasn’t serious), I accepted, what can a ‘sisteh’ lose?

You know how we ladies always joke around and have something to talk about, plenty laughter and all? Yes! The make-up section was fun until we started talking about eyebrows, doing them right & wrong, and what to use and what not. That was when the gist came o.

Apparently, she got a job to handle the make-up section of a wedding. She was done with the bride, it was then turn for the bridal ladies. Job was going smoothly until one girl who obviously likes good thing but won’t allow processes to get them came around. Don’t worry you will understand.

The said girl, sat down on the position and started with….

‘Sister, please I love the eyebrow you made for the other lady, make sure mine is exactly like hers’

Ebere – No problem dear, just relax

‘Ok’

Ebere reaches out for her blade to shape the eyebrow in other to get a good eyebrow out of the busy eyebrow. Our dear girl jumped up.

‘Sister, no no no no, don’t use blade on my eyebrow, I don’t want it.

Ebere – why? Don’t worry it won’t hurt. I just need it to make your eyebrow finer. You would even be able to step out without the use an extra eyeliner when I am done.

‘No, that’s not the issue, I don’t touch my eyebrow, I am keeping it for my husband.’

Room freezes!!!

Attention diverted to them

I can hear Dhoney’s laughter and could see myself rolling on the floor. Don’t ask me how I got there, it was uncontrollable.

Please please please, I have heard people say they are keeping their virginity for their husband. Awesome! That would definitely not get me rolling

But

I am keeping it for my husband – eyebrow?

Dead!

Now I ask you the same question ‘Dhoney’ asked me, what are you keeping for your husband?

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16 comments

  1. Haha! Very funny indeed. Wonder what the hubby is gonna do with her eyebrow. Someone should have ask if she kept her virginity for her husband.

  2. lwkmd. eyebrows kwa. what would he use them to do bikonu? all the breeze and sun and moon and rain neva disvirgin am finish? You go fear keeping. This babe sha, they are fanning your pinshur in the village. Onye mere gi ihe a metara ya emeta. lwkmd

  3. What an awesomely-comic-piece! Hahahaha. I’m still lauging. When i’m done, (although you specifically requested for female responses) maybe i’ll tell you what I want to keep for my wife. You are doing a nice job, dear. I read almost 95% of all your posts. The problem is, sometimes, I don’t really have the time to comment. Your blend of the Igbo language with English is what captivates me the most. I’m always eager to see “biko,” “nne,” “tufiakwa,”…even though I do not understand Igbo. Keep it up girl. May God increase you.

      1. Lol. Maybe she has given out all the essential places out already and the only place she hasn’t given out yet is the eye brow. I’m giving my husband the opportunity to make me Cum. He Shd feel special about that *smug*

  4. As a guy I am trying to imagine my future wife telling she kept her eyebrows for me…. hian the height of foolishness. She did not see better things to keep for me. She better had kept her virginity too ooo if not, hhhhmmm…. The house will be hot.

  5. Hhahhahhahhahhhaahhhahaahhahahahahahahaha eyebrows ke…. maybe I should start keeping my toenails for my husband…. some people can be funny sha…. nice job Elsie… more grease to ur elbow

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