Finding Yourself – #BlogFest

#50DaysCountDownTo2015 – DAY 36. Written by Opeyemi. She blogs at

What is the best way to start a sentence? What is the best way to start a blog post? How do you come up with the exact words that explain what you have in mind without losing the reader’s attention? These are only a few of the questions that popped in my head as I sat down to write this. And oh, yes, I am also using a borrowed computer so I had better get to the point right quick.

Many men and women have moved from their teens to their post-teens and adulthood not knowing who they really are. For some, it is a simple process, you find yourself doing things that normal teenagers would do, you outgrow them, then move to the next phase. For some, it is not that simple, they readily fill the shoes of grown men and women even in their teenage life, and have a feel of what it means to be responsible for not only themselves but for others around them; these people have little or no idea what it feels like to be young, and as such most times they end up a little anti-social compared to their peers. For some however, they progress from the teenage stage to adulthood not really knowing the difference, to them it is really just the same old thing and life can be lived any way they deem it fit.

I need to point out here that from my assessment of people (I am not a psychologist or social worker, I am simply a keen observer of life and the living), I have come to realize that the development of people during these stages is indeed influenced by a lot of factors; these factors range from standard of living, to the environment in which these individuals are raised, and to some other adverse factors. Some people go through life having all they want at their beck and call, they have opportunities to grow in all facets of life within their reach and most times grab them, while a few of these kind of people fail to grab these opportunities because they have become too comfortable in their life of plenty, and as such cannot be bothered to live beyond what is given them. For a majority of these kind of people, growth is seemingly normal, they do what teens do when they are teens, and act like adults when they can, some on the other hand have a sketchy knowledge of what it means to really be an adult, and most times spend most of their adult lives acting as kids, because they have been treated for too long like kids. The ones who have failed to make good of the opportunities they were given find themselves lost later in life, with no real definition of who they really are or what they really stand for. They probably went to University to study what their parents picked for them, and then along the line discovered that they are not cut out for the life their parents chose for them when they get to meet people who do things their own way. Some end up having misplaced priorities, not really doing much to grow, but taking on habits that are detrimental to even their development.

For those who had little in life, it also goes both ways, some are level headed from the start and know who they are and what they want from life and chase it, some however constantly wallow in their inadequacies and make little or no attempt to remove themselves from where life has put them. Such people grow to become adults who have no idea what they want to achieve in life, they do not have a particular goal they are chasing, and would rather spend the little they have on irrelevant things that do little to make their lives better.

So the question is, how do I make good of whatever situation I have found myself and decide who I am and what I can achieve? Am I conscious of myself and what I am supposed to achieve within a time frame? Do I spend time chasing things that are really temporary instead of working towards achieving sustainable growth? Do I really know myself and what I stand for? Does my social status in life limit me from maximizing my full potential? Am I acting like an adult in a teenager’s body? These are salient questions I do not have answers to, but everyone reading this should ask themselves. Are you really doing you? Or are you doing the you that your wealthy parents have decided you do? Are you really doing you? Or are you doing the you that your friends have decided that you do?

Think about it. , Twitter – @O_poise

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  1. I have come a long way through different phases. and I have yet many more phases to go. Life’s an endless journey of finding oneself. I know I am.

  2. In this age of mass distraction from the media and society at large coupled with the human tendency to want to fit in instead of standing out, most people tend to think of finding themselves as meeting up to society expectations like getting a job, getting married, etc. We rarely give time to reflective thinking and the works of great minds that can guide us to finding ourselves are all too dismissed as boring or nerdy. And as you pointed out, there is parental control too. Seems like we can only hope to meet people interested in helping us look beyond the boundaries of society and hopefully we are open minded and brave enough to do this.

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