Blog Festival | Everybody Complex | by Nkem Oyaghire

I sat in the exam Hall with 24 students clad in blue and white. Silence all around expect for in my ears, Chris Brown and Jhene Aiko sing their drunken blues.

In this drab and utterly cold class; I waited for the time to pass. 12:30 couldn’t come any faster. For an exam of one hour and thirty minutes I was already tired. So I read to pass time, that usually works; a lot.

I picked a book from my phone’s library. Good in Bed; Jennifer Weiner.

Funny story; just as I like. With all the perks of a good chick lit; unlikely female protagonist, great life changing experience and an absolute transformation of her body, lifestyle or mind. In some cases a transformation of all three.

I haven’t finished this exact novel. I am just about five or so pages into the book and I am already riveted. But something struck me.

When I read I like to interpret the words on paper-in this case-screen to vivid images in my mind (I think everybody does that). Now the unlikely protagonist in the novel is overweight and her immensely cool, hot and also unlikely ex-boyfriend wrote an article in a very popular magazine; about his morbidly overweight ex; our unlikely protagonist and how it is a chore dating an overweight girl.

Now I would recommend a chill pill and listen to what he meant by such a ridiculously ambiguous statement. The chore here is not in her size but the complex most fat girls have.

The complex that nobody can love all this fat and the continuous struggle to be accepted by societal standards of weight.  The complex that since the loud voice of the world can’t accept and love the body I own then why would the tiny voice of one person that calls himself my boyfriend matter.

The unlikely boyfriend’s problem was not with her weight but her constant worry of whether she was the appropriate size for him and her continued and insistent disagreement and disillusionment that he couldn’t love her.

I will agree with him because in a not so distant past I still struggled with self acceptance; Wondering if the folds of my belly would push off every suitor. Going on a diet for two weeks only to splurge for three months and gain all the weight back with corresponding cellulite.

What we forget is that there is a complex that comes with every body type, tons of skinny girls want that bum you detest, they want their hips to be as rounded as yours.

I’m not endorsing obesity or being overweight but if your body type is big own it. Exercise to be healthy but don’t starve yourself to be what you can never be.

The solution to this is to understand that one person’s Nigerian Jollof rice is another’s Ghanaian Jollof rice and we need to learn and grow comfortable in our own skin – be it flabby or taunt.

 My name is Nkem Oyaghire and my blogaddress is

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