False Accusation & Boundaries must be talked About While Discussing Rape

My Almost Rape Story - Olutayo Abiola

Rape is very sensitive. I have had my almost rape experience by someone who I considered family. Click here to read my story… So this is not about not understanding what it feels like. We cannot keep talking about rape without talking about “False accusations” and “boundaries”

A false accusation of rape is the intentional reporting of a rape where no rape has occurred.

When we start this conversations, we are termed insensitive and victim shaming. However, if we must talk rape then these other parts cannot be ignored. The idea of falsely accusing a man of rape is not something unheard of.  We saw the story of a man who spent the better part of his life in jail for a crime he didn’t commit – rape.

Over the weekend, I read stories from different guys on Twitter. Stories that will leave you wondering if some ladies are mentally ill. I am also glad that men are learning to speak up, sharing their stories instead of always waiting for the woman’s version then playing the victim. If you don’t share your stories, we cannot help you or understand you. Insulting or cursing girls out will not help anybody understand. Narrate and share.

Dear Men, please Note that, at any point during intercourse or foreplay, once she says “NO”…”STOP”… whether she has received head, kissed you, held your penis, ate pizza, used free wifi, etc. If you continue, it is rape.

Dear ladies, it is highly important for us to note that regret is not rape. We had sex but he didn’t date me, is not rape. He gave me ordinary 2000 for transport fare’ is not rape.

“The cheque he gave me bounced when I got to the bank” is not rape. “He left me to date a girl lesser than I am” is not rape. “He stopped calling me after we had sex” is not rape

And this brings me to rape by deception. Sorry fam, the term exists, however, when reporting such case, please let us know it is rape by deception so we can learn from the deceit too ??‍♀️?

Like you thought he was a man but she is a woman. ? the English tire me sha. He told you he is the governor’s son but he is a carpenter… Gists like that

Accusing a man of rape can ruin his life, destroy his career, drive him to depression and then suicide. It’s a horrible stigma we shouldn’t put on someone who isn’t a rapist.

Please be sure it actually is rape before you pick your phone to type shit or report the case. And oh, btw, please let your NO be NO.

The world is troubled enough and we don’t need mixed signals when it comes to sex. If you don’t want sex, please say it and mean it. Don’t say you don’t want sex but go looking for cuddle and spooning.

“I have a boyfriend but I just want us to make out” what the hell is that? Is your boyfriend suffering from stroke?  Guys should be able to have the maximum level of self-control but please respect yourselves. Stay in your houses! Don’t make things complicated for people.

Now we are at a point where the man has to keep asking at intervals, “should I stop? Does it feel like rape?” Common fam!

Dear Men, please stay away from tipsy/drunk ladies. Stay away from children too (no be by age o). I don’t think it’s too difficult to know a lady is vibing with you sexually. Or do you guys need sex consent form now?

All I’m trying to say is, we are adults, humans and not animals. Let’s learn to take care of ourselves from beasts in human form. Take necessary precaution and respect your home training.

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1 comment

  1. Very soon, consent forms will be needed, even before relationship starts

    Article Interesting to read sha.

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