The Ex Factor – 15

The Ex Factor - elsieisy blog

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Lies can forever be kept hidden, except when you mention ‘forever’ you introduce Time, who is a distant relative of Truth.

I left my seat and reluctantly walked towards where my s4 was wailing; phone calls every now and again was why I don’t take it with me to my workstation anymore since some people will never call you at your leisure time. Not until you’re engrossed with your work before they do their thing and make you wonder if they were specifically sent to you as A.O.Ds (Agents Of Disturbance). I got there in time and snatched the phone from my bedside lamp stool.

“What does Believe want this time?” I sighed just before hitting the green touch space and did the customary first ten seconds of compliments.

“So Dave howfar na?”

“I need your help bro but to make myself clear, I went to see june last saturday and…”

“And what took this long for me to be updated?” I cut in feigning a sharp angry voice.

“I’m sorry sir. So thing is, I came to terms with June and we struck a deal. She would go back to Abj and agree to ‘Tunde’s dating proposal…”

“And I’m supposed to know this ‘Tunde?” I cut in again, this time with more interest.

“Tunde is the etisalat guy chasing June in Abj. She told me about him and she said she kinda like him but she just wants to give him a little bit of tough time. So she’ll agree and make it look like he’s responsible for her preg but the truth would be between both of us and she’s travelling next week. Believe me, I’m telling you this now cos I know I can trust you and because I need your advice.”

“What other advice again?… You’ve both agreed and concluded. Any advice now na late entry na. Abi?”

“No be that one jare. As I was about leaving the KFC where we met to talk, she was talking to a lady, a friend on phone. I never knew she had any friend here in lagos so I want to know that friend and probably obtain some vital info I can use against her, should she decide to stray away from our agreement. That’s where I need your help and advice on how to go about it”

As Dave talked, I slowly and slightly shook my head. The same shaking of one’s head that comes with “What a pity” or the word people from around where I come from would use instead: “Eeyah!”

“But would that be necessary?”

“Desperate times need desperate measures bro & if u ask me, I don’t trust that girl from A to B. Believe me.”

I promised Dave I was going to think about it when I was through with what I was doing and get back to him. He appreciated my time, emphasized how expectant he would be, pending when I’ll get back to him and hung up. I sat there for some time, absent mindedly toying with the phone in my hand as “what if” questions motioned randomly and directionlessly in my mind.

What if June was not even pregnant?

What if she’s just trying to get even for something Dave did?

What if she had everything planned and mapped out?

What if her Lagos friend is an insider or someone very close to Dave?

What if she just intentionally made friends with the innocent person to use him or her as a conduit?

I returned back to my workspace and pulled back the rotating chair, shoved to one side of the table the plate containing the leftover toast, grabbed the cup and threw my head back as I emptied the content- full milked and green herb subdued tea into my wide opened mouth, sat back at my work station and continued typing my article from where I’d stopped.

…Life is such a diversified phenomena. Sometimes, she will give you reasons to laugh, reasons to cry, reasons to crawl into your shell, reasons to be spontaneous and sometimes reasons to see her as just a crazy bitch.

Personally, I don’t think term ‘arresting’ or ‘larger than life’ is something that should exist or be used cos what on earth could be larger than life? Don’t roll your eyes. The question was rhetorical… but what if it wasn’t? Thing is, sometimes some things happen and you’ll just sigh and say “this life is just a pot of beans”.

The way we live our lives, the choices we make, the results of our actions are what could be said to be the justification of our existence… although this can also turn around to be our condemnation and that is to drive home the point that everything is double sided. What makes the difference between places of high and low crime rates is just the kind of life the inhabitants of the place have chosen to live. But let me be safe to say that not all places with low crime rate are actually physically beautiful and economically buoyant but the citizens have decided to embrace peace and march along the right path in spite of their own troubles and inconveniences; and that’s the general part.

Individually, your life is like a domino where one thing will always lead to another. Watching a domino fall is one the most beautiful sights ever and I mean real, magnificent, well designed and thoughtfully arranged domino. That’s just one’s life in summary. For instance, have you ever thought of what would happen if you weren’t born in your country of nationality or if you weren’t born by your present parent(s) or if you didn’t attend the university you attended and other questions that would show, you are a result of both controllable and uncontrollable circumstances, factors and decisions. Some curios peeps including me have even gone as far as asking what would have happened if mother Eve didn’t break the rule in the garden of eden?… I was told we would still be in there enjoying ourselves. And yes, naked which would be the most interesting part.

We all are products of our decisions or actions and we must think very carefully before making them, which is the essence of this piece cos you might actually intend to satisfy an immediate urge while obliviously putting an obviously shameful dent on some years yet to come. Domino theorem… If you are still a bit skeptical, go read the biblical story of Esau… No, I’ll say “Hungry Esau”.

Although the different stages we get to in life would determine some things and make our level of decision making more…

My phone rang again.

“I thought I left this phone in the room!… And who the hell is this?!” I shouted like that was supposed to stop the ringing and restore my much cherished quietness.

“Hey Kate… Whatsup?” I tried sounding as calm as possible.

“I’m ok dear. I’m driving through your area and just thought I should check on you. That’s if you’re at home though.

“Aww!… How nice. Thanks but I’m not at home. I’m out on a date with my sweetheart. Maybe next time uh?” I faked a smile to garnish the ‘make believe’ portrayal of my false sentence.

“Oh!… Ok then. You take care and my regards to her. We’ll see in church on sunday.”

“Yep. Thanks again. Later dear… Bye.” I quickly hung up before she starts to sense or do whatever it is females say they do to tell when or if you’re lying on the phone or not. “A.O.D!” I said, adjusting my seat to resume my writing but I almost immediately sat back in my chair as a thought struck my mind.

“Hmm… Kate!” I thought. “Kate could be the person to solve this June’s scooby-doo mystery by putting my doubts to confirmation and collecting answers to most of my questions. That is if she’ll agree to the proposal I’ll make to her after service on Sunday cos I don’t want to drag her into this whole thing that’s beginning to look like a movie or a novel. She might have to be the one to go undercover and make friends with this June, collect vital information from her and supply it to Dave and I but it would mean we would have to tell her everything so she’ll know what she’s doing and there won’t be any slip ups. I can’t begin to imagine how smart this June would be, especially if this whole thing was planned from the beginning, and still going according to plan.

Setting a thief to catch a thief would give Kate the upper hand in being the right person for the job since she wasn’t a novice to playing dirty pranks herself. No offence to her.

I think its high time agent Kate was brought in on the case.” I tried amusing myself.


Titi continued to brush her hair as she simultaneously picked one thing after the other, dropping them into her hand bag. Dave sat quietly on the bed, staring into thin air.

“…so that’s how I had to apologize to the lady just for peace’s sake. But really, it wasn’t my fault. Was it?!… Huh?!… Dave?… David!!”

“Urrhm…Yes?… What?!… Why do you have to scream at me like that?!”

“Why won’t I scream when you’ve gone again to wherever it is you go to these days.”

“What’s your problem?… Can’t someone think again”

“Nobody’s asking you not to think. Stop going blank on me all the time. Its irritating, annoying and starting to become a crappy habit. I’ve asked you more than ten times what’s wrong with you and all you keep saying is nothing. What am I your fiancée for, when you’re obviously hiding something from me and you’ll look me in the eye and tell me you love me! Keep hiding it. I’ll know when I’m ready to but stop going blank on me! Stop it! I hate it!”

“I’m sorry. It won’t repeat itself again. I promise” Dave sounded as sincere and apologetic as anyone could be.

“I think I’ve heard that before. So what is the problem Dave?… What wrong with you?”

“Nothing. Believe me. Just thinking randomly on different things and everything…”

“Here we go again” Titi cut in, snatching her car keys from the dressing table. “We both know you’re lying and we also both know I’ll know it when I’m ready to. Anyway, while you’re hiding whatever it is, I’m going to my friend’s party. She’s travelling, so she’s having a send forth party”

“And I’m not invited?”

“It’s all girls. Nobody’s bringing their bf’s we decided that for her since she’s single. We don’t want her to feel intimidated.” Titi had a faint smile on her face.

Her phone rang.

“Pls dear help me pass my phone beside you. That’s her calling. I’m late already”

Dave’s hand shook as he handed Titi the phone.

“And what did you say the name of this your friend is?” He asked with a shaky voice.

“June. Her name is June.”

Human beings are such knotted, intricate, desperate pieces of work—it’s a rare thing to know one completely, to the core, and still truly love him or her.

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  1. Wow not read anything suspense Filled in Recent Time,Beautiful Piece,when will Episode 16 be Out,cnt wait

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