Ed and Freddy: A Lesson on Falling | by William Ifeanyi Moore

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Freddy wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to react under the current situation. Last time he talked with Ed about girls he near enough got told off for being promiscuous, but here he was with Ed wondering if he should call him a hypocrite or cheer him on. It started with inviting Ed out on wingman duty but less than an hour into the party it seemed Ed was going to be the centre of attention. He made a mental note to ask him about this in the morning. For the time being, he was just happy to see the number one player he knew back in action. He felt a sting from his conscience for celebrating what was clearly a crack in his best friend’s relationship, but he wasn’t about to drag Ed away from an easy 9. He blamed it on status anxiety and left it at that.

****

The next morning Freddy woke up to the sound of footsteps as Ed led the girl from the bar out of the flat. He waited in pretend-sleep until Ed came back in.

‘Dude, what the fuck was that? I thought you were in love and whatnot? Can’t argue with that though. I’d divorce my wife for a piece of that ass.’ Freddy threw a pillow at him from the living floor. ‘I invite you out to wing me and you kick me out of my room to get laid on my bed. What kind of friend does that?’

Ed was barely awake but he knew going back to bed was out of the question. Freddy wasn’t going to let this slide. He had known him long enough to know that.

‘So are you gonna tell me what brought out the beast last night or what?’ he reached for a small box by the couch. ‘Start talking, I’ll roll us one. I got this from James’s dealer, three puffs will fuck you up. I don’t know how they grow weed these days.’

Ed wiped the sleep off his eyelids as he staggered to the cupboard in search of a coffee mug.

‘Should I make one for you too?’ he asked.

‘Yes please. No milk, no sugar.’ Freddy said.

‘We were only roommates for four years. I would never have guessed how you like your coffee.’ Ed replied in sarcastic exaggeration.

They managed a few ‘remember when’ stories as Ed made the coffees and Freddy rolled the joint. When they were both done, they sat on their favourite spots and turned on the TV before the sipping and puffing kicked off.

‘So what’s up though? Are you gonna see that chick again or was this a hit and run operation?’ Freddy asked.

‘I don’t know. Like she is hot but I don’t know if I want to risk her getting attached.’ Ed said.

‘Dude, you are cold hearted. You must think you are God’s gift to women. Arrogant prick. But what about Fiona? You guys cool?’

Ed paused with the joint on his hand. He wasn’t quite sure how to proceed with his answer.

‘Dude, you can tell me anything. Come on.’ Freddy egged him on.

‘I don’t know. Like we are still together but I feel different. And it’s not like I just stopped liking her, well I guess I did. It’s like; as I’ve come to know her she is just as boring as so many other girls I know. I don’t know if I’m making any sense?’

He passed the joint to Freddy.

‘I get it. It’s very common these days. You meet people and they have this mystique or whatever, but most of the time it’s just pretence. You get all excited and invest all you time in unwrapping them only to find out it was all packaging with no content.’ Freddy responded.

Ed was relieved. He thought Freddy was going to give him a hard time for being preachy the last time they had a serious conversation about girls.

‘I think social media has a lot to do with this thing you know. You know how when we first meet someone, we don’t really know them but we fill the gaps with an idea of them that is more of what we want them to be than what they actually are.’ Ed said.

Freddy was puffing away nodding in agreement.

‘These days we stalk people online to fill this gap and you know how everyone has the perfect life on social media. Such a scam. Next girl I meet, I don’t want her Instagram, Facebook or nothing. If she can’t tell me who she is personally, I’m not interested.’

Freddy could sense the bitterness in his friend’s tone. He was going to make fun of him about this but not quite yet.

‘Well, there is nothing you can do. I just hope you aren’t expecting every girl you meet to be like Angela?’

‘If you mean if I am expecting girls I date to be funny, cultured, and cool. Yes…God I miss her. She was the real deal. Now all I’m left with is a bunch of pretentious impostors that think I should kiss the ground they walk on.’

Freddy passed the joint.

‘Hit this bro, you need it.’

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