By Tosin Ayo
I don’t know where some men got this utterly erroneous assumption that women are second fiddle, a bird-brained specie whose words cannot be taken seriously and her advice followed instructively, diligently and beneficially from. You see some men who consider a woman a weaker sex, weaker brain and a weaker performer and I begin to laugh at their sheer ignorance, pitiable situation, despicable reasoning paradigm and poor quality of thought.
Listen up, there is no proven nexus between your gender and superior intelligence. In fact, let me shock you, the most intelligent, diligent, effective, sound-minded, uncompromising, strong-willed, unbendable, strict, helpful, supportive, help-eager, reliable, professional and efficient people I have met in this life are women. If you think I am kidding, try to find a young man who can write better than Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. The woman who will be sound will be unbelievably outstanding and the one who will be dull will be shockingly, incurably, irredeemably stupid.
No sense in cutting every woman in the same set stone of stereotypes. Undermining and underestimating a woman’s ability is perhaps the best form of regret you can ever have. You will be startled beyond redemption. Some men will never listen to the advice of their wives simply because she said it. This is not about your ego, you are simply arrogantly stupid, Yes, I wrote that- You are stewpid!
This simplistic ambivalence, puffy extravagance and unmeritorious pride is totally laughable- because she is a woman, she should be unintelligent right? Yeah right. Sense is not gender-biased. These set of unlistening Bachelor husbands who do not listen to the wise counsel of their wives end up frustrated and disappointed. Any woman who dates or marries a man who doesn’t listen to her is not in a relationship or married, she is in a situation.
I remember many years ago, I was with one of my married friends and his car would not start. He kickstarted the ignition severally and frantically without result. We were there for over one hour and there was no mechanic in sight. His wife was all along advising him on what to do, but he wouldn’t listen. She told him to let the car calm down, that the car engine’s fuel pump might have ‘over floated’ and then he should pump some fuel supply by pumping the throttle (accelerator) before kickstarting it. She was talking from her experience garnered from her Dad who once drove a rickety car that needed pumping before starting every morning. He ignored her advice on the ground that a woman knew nothing about cars. I advised him to try out her suggestion as trials hurt no one- no harm in trying. He reluctantly did and voila, the car was kickstarted successfully (Oko dahun one time) and we left.
Shame couldn’t let him thank her or face her for not believing in her judgement. This was how one of my elderly friends too would have lost up to 5million naira for not listening to his wife. He wanted to change naira to pounds for the payment of their children’s tuition in the UK at N363 to a pound from bureau de change, the wife felt it was too expensive and advised he does the transfer through the banks at the official subsidized rate for international students, but he initially objected because he felt he knew more than her. The wife insisted and made the enquiry and truly, there was a special rate for students, they changed the money at N315 to a pound and saved a lot of money.
So, dear men, you married a help meet, not a spectator, let them participate in their marriage. These women are a wonderful set of treasures and your favour- that is what God called them. Discuss with them. Confer with them. Make use of them. A man who thinks himself an island is in fact an isolate desert. You can’t know everything. Two good heads are better than one. You are already killing a thousand, make use of your wife so you can haunt down ten thousand. Some of you are unsuccessful simply because you are too egoistic to even share your problems with the woman in your life. Strangely, your help might be in their hands. Women make things happen. They have made things happen for me in time past! The world is run by men, men are run by women. Do the maths.
That woman you despise and ignore controls some powerful men- don’t ask me how I know. Listen to them, but don’t hand over the wheels of decision to them- that’s how to be everything but a man. Those who recognise the place of their helpmeet often meet with help. One head does not form a council.