As she stared into her eyes she said…
I was six years old when my mum walked into the room with another man who didn’t look like my dad and bed him down…without explanation.
Maybe that was the day I lost my innocence…the day I stopped listening to my head not my heart.
I grew up in the slums of Lagos, my mum shipped me to the island the stay with my Rich Aunts and her kids in Ikoyi. I was in secondary school and my aunt was paying my school fees. My mum sent me off like a hope…that I must not fail at life. It was a dream I never believed in.
I was in secondary school SS2 at the time in a government school when I met Duke who stayed in the estate where my uncle and Aunt stayed on the Island. A lot of rich people stayed there and I was an average girl. He was one of the rich kids in the estate, he walked up to me with an accent and I am well-spoken coupled with watching lots of movies, I could also throw in some accents if I wanted to.
We talked a whole lot, he kept rapping and talking about a whole lot, how he goes to the UK every summer and all…and see me, I haven’t even seen airport.
After he talked and talked and asked…it was my turn. I thought about telling him the truth about slums and struggles. I didn’t. I told him that as well, I have gone abroad before and all that. Picking some parts in movies I had seen…and all…I mean, what’s my own? Me too I have to package myself well now.
Well, we laughed and friendship started. I never carried last in anything…music, movies, fashion, I was always in trend. Duke loved clubbing and partying and all and used to carry me along as his friend.
I will meet his other rich friends and from there the connection started building. I knew Duke had feelings for me and some of his other friends too. Sometimes, he even told me I was if girlfriend and I pretended I didn’t hear…ignored…I never asked him for anything. I was industrious, I worked during the holidays and saved.
I was off to university then I fell in love with Frank. We dated 1 year, he disvirgined me and we just drew apart but I always had that soft spot for him. Then I dated Steve till I graduated. Meanwhile, I kept communication with Duke. We were the craziest of friends….he was really a friend…he always said lovey stuffs and I will respond and all…dirty stuffs sometimes. To me it was just fun, he never told me he had feelings for me. Whenever I tell him I had sex, he will grow cold.
I was almost a graduate and I knew it was getting time for me to go back to the slum…with my degree. That’s not even pretty, my mum ain’t out of the hood yet.
I love music, couldn’t rap but could sing a bit. I knew how beats should sound for it to be a hit record.
Duke returned to Nigeria and we related on all levels, even music. We smoked together. I will leave school to go to his house and chill…we will go out and meet people…then because of my love for music, he used to hang around boys a lot and people used to call me different names…party girl and all…I didn’t pay attention…I knew who I was…A hustler…A hustler doesn’t concern herself with what they say.
They said I fuck around…it was only my very closest friend, Amaka, that knew me…and she was like me but a good rapper…I never paid attention.
As graduation grew closer each day…I was running out of time…My dreams were beginning to diminish…Duke’s parent travelled and he invited me to stay over at his place…I obliged to go…
We would hangout everyday with his friends who used to come over…I would cook for them and give them a homely feel and even play Fifa with them occasionally… They all hit on me…LOL I mean its only normal I was like a lamb in the midst of lions, but duke used to protect me a lot. I knew he had feelings for me, the way he used to hold my hands and all. But I wasn’t sure if I loved him back, because I was a street girl with dreams…it was a thug of war with my dream and love…I wasn’t even ready for Love. My dreams were beginning to blur.
My Passion for music kept growing…as I would sit down on the stairs with headphones and a joint and listened to music all day. I was more interested in how a song should sound and how it should have been.
One day I followed duke to a party, he told me it was one his very rich friends birthday. I made sure I looked exquisite as usual to attract one or two rich kids. I was more interested in creating the connection for myself…I needed to know people.
I got to the party as usual I was required to play Girlfriend to duke which I was just doing out of obligation nothing else. As the party entered the heat phase, where guys and girls get really close, a guy offered me a dance I obliged. I was high and music…why not…what’s life without fun anyway. I got up close and we danced then he offered a drink…My first look of him in the light and I was amazed…he was so fine…I actually wished he kissed me at once…but trust guys…trying to impress me and started talking…All I had in my head was please just kiss me…but he talked and talked me out of my mood…then his words became clearer…and I found out his name was Morgan and he is into artist management and all…and once again I packaged myself as an average tush girl…then Duke came and told me that we should start leaving…I hurriedly followed him cause he sounded upset…on our drive back home I asked duke what the problem was…he said nothing and he never said anything to me the whole trip…we got home still nothing…I suspected that it was because I was with Morgan…It’s not as if he told me anything…I just felt he was being childish that the next morning he will feel fine.
Morning Came and still the same attitude I simply ignored…then he told me that I should probably start considering going back to school and all…I didn’t say anything…
All this while I was in touch with Morgan and I had grown fond of him…I even told him about what duke was doing…he then offered that I come stay over at his place for the remaining days. I accepted the offer…besides I didn’t want to go back to school…I wanted to have fun…Morgan took me in…He treated me like a queen compared to what Duke did…I never entered his kitchen…I did nothing…Just shopped and eat and hang out with his crew…then he asked me out…I agreed because I really liked him.
I immediately called duke out of excitement to tell him of it…he was always my GOTO person when I was happy. He knew everything about me apart from my background. When I told him, He coldly told me he wished me the best. I felt distraught and so bad…for the first time I felt hurt…I decided to let him be…maybe its best.
My Graduation was getting closer, My dreams were becoming more and more difficult to achieve…Do I chase my dreams or just squeeze into the norm like everybody else?
Two months to my graduation, things were not going well with Morgan. He has started being very difficult. My Dreams were completely vanishing…and it was back to the hood for me…How did this all happen?
Morgan invited me over for the weekend, he and his crew were having a party, I was his trophy because he used to show me off a lot. I treated him like a king whenever his friends were around. I made him focused. Fucked him whenever he wanted.. But it was never enough for him.
To be continued….
Written by Sir Jaydee