For every form of relationship to be successful, it’s important we are sensitive and observant. We have to be attentive to what the other party wants per time or season, also be open enough to communicate your needs, wants and expectations. Because, if a person is willing to be there, understand and support you, while you are uptight, unwilling and emotionally unavailable, it creates room for stress and strains and just like you must have heard before today, it takes two. Remember I carefully used the phrase ‘per time or season’ above, because your perspective depends on what life is currently throwing at you. It is possible for a person to love bread and beans today and this times next year, they are totally irritated by the smell of bread and beans. ‘Change is constant’ and until we begin to apply this information alongside our expectations of others and rules laid down, we might never get it right. You might begin to constantly label people ‘fake and unreal’ while in the real sense, they are just in a different place. They might be terrible at communicating their new phase or don’t even understand it themselves as they just go through life, but remember communication is a two-way street, you can establish that communication with your friend and this can only happen because and when you are sensitive and understand.
I will give a non-fiction example; So I have this close friend, let’s call her J. I have known J for over 6years. I knew her before she met her then boyfriend, now husband and we have been cool. Our friendship has gone through things normal people go through. There have been times she felt I wasn’t very supportive and vice versa. We have gone weeks without talking and found our way back with zero drama. We share same zodiac sign, so we are similar in so many ways. We even finish each other’s sentences and have same response to same situation and can be so weird. We vibe like that and we have grown to understand our differences as well. She is one lady whose entrepreneurial spirit gives me joy and I am super happy her hard work pays. I am learning from her and she knows it.
From the little I have typed above about our friendship, it is easy for you to know we share as much as we can with each other and that’s a lot. And this also meant that, I could beat my chest to say my friend, J, will never do certain things or if given an option, she’d choose A and not B. So about 3 months ago, there was one of these posts online that gives you options and this time, the option was – being able to travel around the world in an all-expense paid trip or finding the love of your life. And my dear friend said she would rather travel the world with the love of her life. That was the day I learnt this lesson I am sharing with you – “Change is constant; Your perspective depends on what life is currently throwing at you”. If my dear friend was asked this question about 4years ago, I would have sworn she would choose traveling the world whenever she wants.
When you share you worries/situation/troubles with people in hope to hear their advice, note that a lot of people cannot see life beyond their own experiences and immediate surroundings. Don’t go around taking people’s word as they say them and applying them to your life, because our journeys, though similar, can be very peculiar at any given time. Refine it and apply it to your situation after carefully weighing your options and what life is currently throwing at you.
Before you call anybody fake or accuse anyone of not being completely sincere with you, be sure that’s truly the case, as some have just moved from one phase of their lives to another and the things attainable in their new phase are now different. My friend now has different perspective on different things because she has found the love of her life and I am truly happy for her. She found a man who considers her happiness in all his decisions and has always done everything within his power to make her happy. It’s just natural that there will be a mindset shift when love hits you right.
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Like I said, be openminded, be understanding, be sensitive and communicate, that’s the only way to build a lasting relationship.
Change is constant; Perspective Isn’t
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