Following what went down to be Helen’s most disastrous date yet; she couldn’t help but fume over the events that had transpired. Unbelievable, just unbelievable. The nerve of that pompous prick. She replayed his words in her head like an addictive song on repeat. What exactly did he take her for? A sack of meat to be devoured without as much as a glass of wine to go with it? Even if all he wanted was sex, he could have at least pretended to appreciate her personality enough to accommodate some kind of friendship. She didn’t really like him anyways, she just wanted the attention and a free meal. So why was she so upset?
‘Al, like do you think I’m datable?’ she asked her friend.
‘Ermm…where is this coming from?’ Alfred was confused.
‘Seriously, you can be honest with me. Would you date me? Like if we weren’t friends and you just met me?’ she dropped her bag on the kitchen counter.
‘I assume you just had a bad date…should I pour you something to drink?’ said Alfred.
‘Why are you avoiding the question? Al, we have been friends since we were nine. If you can’t talk to be about stuff like this then what’s the point of you being a guy?’
Alfred took a pause from washing the dishes. He had always known Helen to be rather confident in herself even if he sometimes thought it to be for the wrong reasons. She was beautiful, intelligent, and oozed with sex appeal. Someone must have really messed with her to get her feeling this way about herself.
‘You want to tell me what happened because this is clearly not about me telling you if I would date you or not? I believe my spot in the bro zone is for life.’ he asked.
She sighed in frustration.
‘Well, I met this guy, online. He seemed pretty cool, very smart. Not like the other guys that try to chat me up. He actually made funny jokes.’ She paused to listen to herself. Who was she kidding, she liked him, at least to a degree.
‘So you went on a date with him and found out he was a douche bag?’ Alfred chipped in.
She took her time to gather her thoughts. It annoyed her that even as much as she was angry at Eric, a part of her was obsessed about what his actions could mean for her persona in general. Maybe she just sucked at handling rejection.
‘Well, yes he was a complete asshole. But somehow the way he acted is making me think about things. I never seem to be able to keep a guy. Even the ones that pretend to want more than sex end up being sleaze bags. At least he was open about his intentions.’ She got off the stool and went to ransack his fridge.
‘So what exactly did this fellow say that is driving you crazy?’ Alfred asked.
‘Basically, he said I don’t have what it takes to attract the kind of man I want. Not even as a friend.’ She opened a bottle of Corona.
‘Well, he just doesn’t know the real you.’ Alfred said.
‘Yeah, but how is he going to know that if he won’t even give me a chance? And how am I giving off this impression that I am only good to sleep with. For God’s sake I am a first class graduate. I’m not dumb you know.’ She had to caution herself to calm down.
‘Yeah…but,’ he was hesitant.
‘Just say it. Clearly I need to hear this. And don’t sugar coat it either. Please be honest. I don’t care what it is.’
‘Well, you asked for it. Helen you are a great girl and a hottie. I know that. But you kinda put out this image of being…well…’
‘A bimbo. Like look at your Instagram. It’s all pictures of your body and stuff. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for self expression and completely against shaming women for their bodies. But when there are over a hundred pictures of a sexually suggestive nature, it’s kinda hard to expect a guy to look and think: This girl must be intelligent and cultured. Just saying.’
She had never really thought of it that way. But why didn’t she? It was no different to how she thought of guys that posed with flashy jewelry and money stacks as egocentric brats trying to impress shallow women or attract gold diggers. After all, wealth was the equivalent of looks as far as the laws of attraction went for men and women.
‘See, I know you don’t mean to come off as a hoe or whatever, but you have to understand there is a difference between intended meaning and perceived meaning. You are a literature graduate right? It’s just how people work and we have to play along. You will be surprised how guys will approach you if they saw other sides to your personality besides your vanity. Girls with these thirst trap pics just come off like they are hunting for likes.’
The truth was that Helen wanted to show off her intelligence and all that other stuff, but she thought she might come off as intimidating. From what Alfred was saying, it seemed she was coming off as insecure with her obsession over how she looked.
‘I understand. I need a balance. I guess something good did come out of that date. But he is still an asshole. God, humans are so judgmental. I hope men aren’t intimidated by my other side though.’ She smiled and took another sip of the Corona.
‘Yep, and humans includes you. It is what it is. And the type of man to be intimidated by your brain is exactly the type of man you should flee from. When you are old, it is the only part you still get to keep…well mostly’
by William Ifeanyi Moore
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