I never forget the conversation that exposed what sex was to me. I was seven and my older brother had just come back from boarding school. He was nine. In school they had learned about reproduction and he couldn’t wait to share his new found knowledge. It went something like this.
Brother: Ifeanyi, do you know how babies are made?
Me: Errrm, well daddy kiss mummy and the baby comes…
Brother: No (he chuckles). You know how you have a willy (yes we used to call it that), women have a hole. It’s called a vagina. You have to put your willy inside and release sperm.
Me: What is sperm?
Brother: It’s something you store in your willy.
Me: Hmmm, I don’t believe you. Mummy would never let daddy do that to her.
He dug out his Integrated Science textbook and the rest as they say is history. Thinking about it now it’s funny I already placed my mum as the more innocent one that would never let me dad assault her with his willy.
If we didn’t all know how babies were made it would be quite difficult to imagine that all 7 billion people on earth were made this way. Looking down the street at people going about their daily lives it is difficult to imagine they get home and stick protruded bits into each other for pleasure. And to make matters worse we would do anything to avoid talking about this popular art in public, and almost never with strangers. It’s almost like there is an unspoken censorship agreement on this issue.
I remember being in college and a friend of mine asking me to buy him his weekly edition of Nuts magazine (a magazine full of topless women basically). I felt so embarrassed I had to buy another magazine about technology to make it seem like I planned to do more than just masturbation when I got back. Thinking of it now the lady at the stall probably thought I was a classic computer nerd. Tech and porn magazine..what was I thinking?
Even at my current age of reasonable maturity activities like watching porn is still as secretive as CIA clandestine operations. A friend once said ‘We know everyone watches porn, but the type of porn people watch is the big secret’. Who are the people watching porn with foot fetishes? Animal porn? You get the point. We have come to view sex as human perversion and made it into something we are ashamed of for fear of judgment to be labelled a freak. But secretly we are all as guilty as each other in this perversion.
My verdict is that this is a reflection of the quick to judge society we have developed where people try to appear somehow civilized by not talking about sex hoping somehow it would exclude them from being thought of as perverts or freaks. We have made sex a sort of taboo to discuss in the open and branded so many practices that fall outside of normal penetration perverted e.g. A guy wanting to ejaculate on a woman’s face. While some women would cry sexism and disgust to this, others would literally beg men for a steady aim so some cum isn’t wasted by missing the face. Just because we aren’t talking about these things don’t mean it isn’t happening. This is one of the reasons we are here, to discuss the things you only talk about with when trusted friends are around.
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