The Modern Woman and Her Desires

Reading through articles, studies and research, one can easily say the modern woman is beautiful, strong, courageous, confident, dynamic, humane, compassionate, multitasking, etc. But for me, the modern woman is one word – Unstoppable. She is her only limit. A modern woman does not conform to stereotypes, she is brave and intelligent, knowing her strength and more importantly, her weakness.

It’s a thing of joy to see how women’s month was celebrated at a time when women naturally occupies a place quite different from any she has ever known.

Unlike the generation of our mothers, grandmothers and the women before them, women are living, changing lives, accomplishing great things and leading. This is not to say that a patriarchal society like ours has overcome the archaic mentality, far from it. We still battle Gender Equality in ways one would not expect in this age but we are making progress. We have bold women who are ready and willing to fight for the peace and happiness of other women as they choose their desired path. We are not there yet, but we are making progress.

However, one question I raise, frequently, as a Relationship Enthusiast is – To what extent should gender equality be applied in our relationships?

While some argue that there are Gender Roles in relationships, it has been noted by some that there are roles in different relationships, not peculiar to any gender but unique for every relationship.

Does this mean a successful relationship thrives on equity not equality?

The perspective of women handling a particular role in a relationship, seeing the woman as the weaker sex and the man as the dominant are entrenched in our thoughts and orientation that it is being seen by many as the norm. This does not just end in the ideas and roles we consciously and unconsciously assume in a relationship, it stretches to the inception of a relationship. A woman is told not to chase. She is told that chasing a man takes her dignity away. She is told that chasing is humiliating and takes her self-esteem away. She is supposed to lean back, be the fruit and wait to be plucked. She is told not to express her feeling and emotions. She is told not to make her desires known. She is told not to own her sexuality if she wants to find and keep a man but she is supposed to conquer the world.

So how do you conquer the world when you are not yet comfortable conquering and owning your desires? It’s as if we have chosen what extent our strength can or should go in a patriarchal society. You find successful women in business but covering and going through suppressed desires and a sham of Relationship/marriage, because they have to fit into what the society expects of them – the same stereotypes we claim not to conform to.

They say half cup is better than empty, but filling it up should be a valid goal!


Featured Image source – ODYSSEY

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