Love Literati Contest: ‘Falling Grace’ by Adejumoke Balogun

Love literati contest - elsieisy blog

he once said: “This world is made up of two kinds.

“You have those who chase stars. And then you have those who look at the moon and confide in its melancholia.”

And I asked: “Which one are you?”

“Time will tell.”

What if the sky and the earth meet secretly when the world is off to sleep? And last night, they couldn’t. That will explain the crying of the sky. And like every lover out there, the earth is soaking the tears of its beloved.

I look out of the drenched windowpane—raindrops lashing against the glass—the world is shining under the nightfall in a melancholic way.

Even after four years, has nothing changed inside of me? Oh dear rain, let go of me already, please?

I look at the stillness of the coffee which has now turned cold. I am soaked into the aroma and a distant memory, like a bird flying back to its nest, comes back to me…

I was running and I was drenched, but I did not mind either. My legs hurt. I didn’t care. I had to stop him. Stop him from going. We all make mistakes. And I did one too. And it collapsed the chain, the bridge that connected our life. If it was raining across the country, there was a tsunami inside my heart.

“Don’t go. And don’t let me go!” I stopped him, just before he could march the taxi and leave for the airport. “What I did was stupid, but please?” I know he could distinct my tears and the raindrops. He always could. Just this time, he did not. Maybe, it would have weakened him.

“You were the one who chose to walk out,” he said. His honey-dipped voice lingered around my ears. Would this be the last time I ever hear him speak again?

“Please?” I pleaded.

“It didn’t hurt when you chose him. He was all you ever cared about. Caring, smarter, and above all, not broken like me.

“‘My favorite book and you’re just a page,’ didn’t you say that? he was your obvious choice. I am happy for the two of you, honestly.”

I wanted to run away. From everything. From his words. From myself.

“You held his hand tight because you are afraid to let go. I was afraid to let you go, too, but did you feel that? No. I’m glad you found love. But will it be forever? I don’t know. I hope it is. And my love? It will last forever. I still love you. I really do. But it is over.

“It doesn’t hurt that you chose him, but you know what does? The fact that I could be everything he ever will be. Hell! Even better. But you never cared to look at me the way you look at him now. For me, you are now just a distant memory. I almost had you, and you almost loved me.” he pressed his lips against mine. We were kissing each other under the rain, eyes welled up with tears and our lips quivering. I swear we were in love but not with each other. Not anymore.

he left me as a moonless-dreamer.

I press the cup against my lips. It tastes pale. The moonless sky is a bit like me… gloomy. I wonder if he looks at the same sky and thinks of me, too. But most importantly, I feel good to share the same sky bed. It keeps me close to him, at least that is what I believe. After all, he has etched himself in me. And if I ever wake up with Amnesia, and he happened to walk into my hospital room to check on me, I would fall for him all over again, and not even know who I am. That’s what he does.

 

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254 comments

  1. This is so besutiflu dear, everything is in place , the write up is so cool dear I enjoy such beautiful mind like u and would love to work more with u. U really are one the best … Happy writing …

  2. Passionate, emotional and with a tinge of pain. Love hurts, but its one of the beauties of life.

    So deep and so real!

  3. I’m not one who read long posts
    but I must confess,this piece held me to the end
    so glad it wasn’t a waste of time

    Beautiful piece

  4. Wow,this is so emotional, so deep and and real.
    I swear, this one got me..
    Keep up the good work.
    And still keep us updated.

  5. i felt everything…A story i wish was a novel so i can just keep reading…you are phenomenal,,, beautiful piece!

  6. This is sooooooooooooo beautiful, I’m amazed at how you can express so much emotion with 26 alphabets, this is surreal.
    Don’t stop writing, what you do is amazing, this is amazing.

  7. I so love this piece. It’s very emotional and very real. This one was born to write. The ink will never dry.

  8. Well,am not surprised
    This wouldn’t be the first of your work ve seen.
    You capture emotions so well,this piece is next to perfect.

  9. Wooooww!!!.. I’m in love with this. Words cant express how i feel. Thank you so much for writing this, you are truly an inspiration. I’m happy we still have beautiful minds like yours in this world. Dont ever stop writing !!!!

  10. This is a beautiful and powerful piece by the incredible JB. Love it. She’s an upcoming literary giant.

  11. Wow! This is Dope! A very beautiful writeup! Explaining deeply the thoughts of the heart, love and pain tempest-tossed in emotion! This got me!

  12. and when you fall all over again, I’m sure he’d right be right there to save you in his arms till you let out your last love alphabet in an ink of oxygen.
    The world ain’t seen nothing yet till they meet this great beautiful writer. proud of you anyday, girl.

  13. Am very well glad i read this write up which can only be described as an amazing well composed write up
    thumbs up Adejumoke

  14. Wow… this is a great story, lesson learnt you don’t know what you have until you lose it. Great choice of words dear and nice lexis construction.

  15. This is wonderful and touching. Definitely the best story I’ve read for the past 5 years and will be the no1 for 2k17 🙂 nicely done. Keep up the good work! 😉

  16. You are a very passionate and skilled writer you put your all in all your works and so far you keep impressing me very beautiful story this is

  17. I love the story line. You have some this so beautifully. Your imagery is genius and you had me reeled in and wanting more

  18. What a nice write up… This one is better than poems like..

    Upon and honest my fortune
    Boy on a swing
    Negros speaks of black….
    .
    This one is well organized, the use of words.. Nice application of literal devices……….

    I love this one with my heart

  19. you got this Bae… nice writeup…. even in this little piece you made every detail clear n made me long for love

    kudos

  20. Wow. This is deep and reflective. I’ve read for the umpteenth time this morning.. You write so beautifully.

  21. Jumoke, you never fail to deliver. This is why you are one of my favorite writers. This is beautiful. Wow. More ink to your pen, dear. Continue writing.

  22. Awwwww…this is beautiful dearie. I loved every second reading this. Keep doing what you do with words.

  23. OMG! I’m always amazed with the way u put your words together,the diction and everything is wonderful. looking forward to more of your work.

  24. Yayy! What more can one expect to get from a piece. Well tantalised with appropriate words and mesmerizing to the end. Kudoz!

  25. My princess of words! I wont be surprised if you become a neologist tomorrow, because i see you creating your own romantic words. Generally, this is a Theme of enamordness if i’m to say. I love the imagery you use to portray the two characters using the earth and the sky. And using this was nice so as to let the reader finish the piece to the end. Your piece also is didactic as it educates masses to always be satisfied with their spouse irrespective of their current state. It also teaches that “you wont know the importance of what you have, until you loose it.. The climax also says that first love really worth it. I like the way u ended it whereby you said even if you are stuck in an amnesia, you will do love him provided you dont know what to say.. However, i didnt want you to end it here 🙂 lol

    To be frank, you are a very good writer whose knows how to hurl emotion to her readers with so much affection. A stupendous write up u have her jb. Your dictions are not left out too! In fact, i’m gonna do a duet with you soon. Remember! Keep penning! The world needs you!

  26. wow!!!! it is even more than wow!!!. the write up is very scintillating. it broad my horizon of knowledge. it is worthy of emulation. bravo my sister. keep it up.

  27. This is exactly what we should be reading. The plausible characters births the very much needed verisimilitude most works lack these days. I enjoyed every line like I were watching a real life event unfurl right before me. Weldon. Please don’t stop writing.

  28. Good creativity. I like the truth of the theme. I don’t know whether you wanted to expose this tendency as bad for most ladies in love or as a reality to be accepted as normal, but the fact that this seeks such a question reveals that the story was well thought through with the opportunity of having a conversation over the matter. Keep on writing, we need it.

  29. Grrrr… I don’t know exactly who I owe this one. To you for helping me access this, to AdeJumoke for creating such sweet sensations in my cerebrum, or to elsieise for inspiring such contest…
    This is wonderful..let’s do more..

  30. Okay okay *clears throat*

    Haven’t read a better piece since birth. The characters hit the right spot. The word usage on point. Powerful story. I see the Nobel prize already waiting, just write another piece and its yours. This is good.

  31. Oh lord this is great. Just as if I am in the cinema watching it. Creativity in another realm. How I wish I could be like the writer.
    Wonderfully and well carved.

  32. I can’t remember the last time I read a story this long on a blog. This is just fascinatingly engaging. Prof thanks for referring me to this page and JB, thanks for writing this story.

  33. This is extremely awesome…. It is from some genial mind I have never met before…. Keep it up.. You are extraordinary

  34. What a brilliant piece! I was glued to the very end. Your imagery is so on point. Keep writing. Keep winning.

  35. I love this piece for inw major thing it preaches, its such a Short story but I’ll lI’ve if it will continue…
    The major thing here is “that you won’t cherish or know what you have till u lose it. This is a brilliang developed piece! Well done!

    1. I love this piece for one major thing it preaches, its such a Short story but I’ll love if it continues…
      The major thing here is “that you won’t cherish or know what you have till u lose it. This is a brilliant developed piece! Well done!

  36. Wow this is a beautiful piece.. I could play it in my head and felt really emotiona. Beautiful one JB

  37. This is literally the best of em all. every word and sentences are so touching and filled with understanding of the highest order. The Pain, Love, Dark Clouds, Blue Skies and all, was truly Felt. Love This, Totally Brilliant.

    This is Beautiful ??
    Big Ups JB.
    Totally Amazing.

  38. My heart speaks and my fingers relay..I Am me again today because of this writeup.. Great lines!!

  39. All the i’s were dotted which consequently made the the t’s, I mean all the the t’s to be crossed. You are a high flyer, you are a rare gem, you are a vibrational writer. In fact, a lay man in writing can easily flow with the rhythm of your story. You are superb and this very story of yours is too inspirational.
    Keep keeping up dear.
    May your ink never run dry.
    I duff my hat for you.
    Bravo! Bravo!! Bravo!!!

  40. From a personal view, love hurts but at the same time it’s sweet to be in love. Your story is real and so deep. Hope to narrate mine to you one day then have you put it down in writing and bracket ( true story). Blessings

  41. I’m the kind that looks up to the moon and confide in its melancholy….
    A refreshing post for a weary soul,beautiful piece that I can not stop reading…
    Keep writing!!!

  42. A tear, a rain drop. I was him. I am him. Him that was scorned. Him that lost. A tear. A rain drop. Glad she knows and her confession resounds from many lips. How these females repeat same script. Nice piece. Was about me.

  43. Poignantly vivid. Spellbinding, breathtaking. Hooked from start to finish. The plot promises an amazing read for those who love a good story. This is romanticism that belongs among the best. Kudos

  44. on point I love how every sentence marries with the other to paint a vivid picture keep up with the good work

  45. Wow.. The piece is outstanding.. Perfect use of figurative expressions. They catch my attention like a trap does to a game.
    Excellent use of grammar, too, shows you are a master in it..
    The piece is touching..

  46. Dear Lord Shakespeare, come away from your tomb and meet JB, the only surviving true-born of your Muse.
    This speaks to me because I love chasing after stars(read girls I cannot get); poor heart of mine, why don’t you let Bash Mutumba’s witless brain think!

  47. Love truly hurts. I had to read this again. Interesting and very very very fascinating. For once in a long time I got glued to my phone

  48. ok,I planned to come here and just say “wow” or “cool”,but after reading this am speechless,this is wonderful…. I really dnt know what to say…….

  49. I don’t ever wanna let go of the hands that I love, I Dnt want it as a memory, I want the reality. It hurts. But this is beautiful. Jummy❤?

  50. What an imagery you have consciously engraved yet making the love more Socratic than eternity! Gemini pats your back.. Keep writing, dear.

  51. Very well structured, captivating and one of the best stories I have read so far. You really are good dear. Keep sailing.

  52. I am Captivated by each line of words that tells this tale of love forlorn.

    I must commend the writer. You brought me into your story, and the application of the five senses were amply used. I tasted, smelled, i saw, i touched and I also heard.

    Impressive! Very beautiful piece of work there. I hope to read more from you in the future.

  53. This is Simply beautiful but sad love story.

    “Love is a beautiful thing when you are in with the right person”.

    I don’t know who are you but you are good with your hands sweetie. I love ❤❤❤

  54. “Time will tell.”
    When I read this. I felt the blood in my veins as they tangle themselves to fight loose, this illusion of man and time. Then, I read everything and was blown away.

    Let me read again. If you care, join me.

  55. Scented piece, perfumed in lucid expression of twisted emotions and avid love and crisscrossing within antipodes of ecstatic favori, each with unique accent sending chill into my spine. too many a voice, fragments of ardent feelings ~ melancholy, phlegm, angst, phobia, silly, charms etc.

    Envious of the one who wield wand of magical pen, yet in salubrity I must bow for the pen that nicely fashioned ink of vivid scenery, watchable imagery, upon paper embroidered with metaphors, rhetorics and personification of sky cry and earth melancholy, tears in place of raindrops, hmm, I say this is simply wow!

    Well done, Bravo.

  56. Aahaa!!

    This is creativity at its peak.

    Your use of ‘rich’ imagery entwined in salted words is awning.

    More grace to your ace dear. You’re good.

  57. I have read this story four times now and i still cannot get enough of it..
    You made me connect to the story. You made it real. Thank you

  58. There something about good works, they are like limelight in darkness they will always shine. Keep it up.

  59. Tears welled up my eyes as i read through,
    do we always have to walk away from the ones we truly love… but that is also part of love…
    well done girl…

  60. NICE USE OF WORDS AND DICTION, GREAT STORY LINE, EMOTIONAL, DEEP AND REFLECTIVE…GREAT WORK GIRL–KEEP IT UP!

  61. The diction is very poetic. Very technical I must say. It is a mixture of everything that makes a story very interesting. Suspense, good characters, nice diction, plot etc. Amazing.

  62. This piece is just awesome…I’m reading it over and over again.
    I love it👌👌

    1. After reading this piece, I felt really caught up the I.. Great imagination and emotion in just one piece wow. Wonderful piece

  63. Simply breathe taking, this piece took me down memory lane and I just had to share with friends.

  64. Oh dear! So so engaging. I almost thought it was going to end well. It’s so real as in reality, somethings are not just meant to be. What we can’t change, we should adapt to it even if our memories keep taking us back there.

  65. This was a great expression from a deep mind, I like the blend of pain, desires and love. Keep up the good work.

  66. I love the way the author made sure the reader see the main character as one that is indecisive. Clear, precise craft by the author; nicely written.

  67. An amazing and exquisite write up. Very touchy and can relate a lot of emotions in this. Great talent girl. All the best for your bright future.

  68. This almost seemed like a movie. My power of imagination was really heightened as I read through. The characters seemed so real. Funny but I assigned a face and physique to the characters. A bit saddening in the end but obtainable in reality itself. Nice write-up, keep this up and you might just be on your way to becoming one of the best writers the world has ever seen… Kudos..

  69. rilliantrilliant piece. I love the opening paragraph, it was short and witty. It is captivating. The imagery was exceptional, using the relationship btw the rain drops, the sky and the moon to buttress the essence of togetherness.

  70. Am really impressed by this I wish the government can help grow this talent more than this. More wisdom to you ????

  71. There’s no idle line. The depth is off the charts.
    Imagery was perfect.
    And the switches between the scenes? Absolutely fabulous. This piece carried me along on a very interesting journey.
    Beautiful read.

  72. OMG… this is epic to the core. Romantic to the climax… stunning to the apex… amazing to the peak… explicit to the extreme… No word can describe how I feel about this write up… #JB to the extreme

  73. Jumoke, your way with words is intriguing.. how you combine your metaphors with other figures of speech is awemazing. This piece is brilliant, adroitly written, imagery wise,very brilliant. Welldone babes.

  74. One of the best piece I’ve ever read. It was just watching a movie. Paintings, perfect. Description, on point. My first wow moment today. Don’t you ever stop writing. Don’t.

  75. This narrative is a voice that chants the aches and pleasures our decisions through love birth.
    As always, JB, you’ve birthed another piece of me.

    Great job.

  76. Wow…
    Words can’t comprehend
    I love dis… You re amazing
    Can’t stop reading dis

  77. This left me solemn because it’s more common than we know, a lady with four kids told me the other day that her first daughter must marry an anambra man because she left an anambra lover to marry her husband. Good word designs. Keep writing Elsie.

  78. This is really an amazing peace. Indeed my eyes also welled up in tears. I mean,from start to finish i was held up tight. This is really didactic and entertaining. Love is deeper than the oceans andthis piece says it all. Well done dear. You deserve to win

  79. Exclusively dished out, romantically devoured. This is a ravishing expression of a deep hopeless love. Nice one

  80. Oh for the love of a good literary piece! This is refreshing. The words, oh how they refuse to leave the heart after their heavy impact on the heart. A small piece full of meaning. Who says Nigerians don’t have good writing skills? Du courage mademoiselle. The sky is still your point of commencement.

  81. This is creative and well written. It created a picture in my mind. If it’s developed into a script for a movie, it would help the mediocre Nollywood attain world recognition.

  82. “…If it was raining across the country, there was a tsunami inside my heart.”

    Just like Justin Bieber, Jumoke Balogun is killing it.
    Shakespeare would be proud of the way you twist words.

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