On A Lighter Note: 10 Benefits of Subsidy Removal…

On A Lighter Note: Ten Benefits of Removal Subsidy...

By Tosin Ayo

1. Now, that Subsidy has been removed and the official pump price of Premium Motor Spirit, PMS is N145 in the least at NNPC and other Government stations and above that in other filling stations owned by independent marketers, indiscriminate roaming about the street with your vehicles will reduce drastically, thus leading to less vagabondage, vagrancy and herdsmenism.

2. There will be less traffic jam in cosmopolitan and bustling cities like Lagos and Abuja. People will only take their private vehicles when it is absolutely necessary to do so.

3. More husbands will be responsible and have less fuel and saved, unused, unspent cash to chase side chics and choicelessly stay at home to spend quality time with their kids. It is time your children stopped arguing about Daddy’s complexion because they’ve never seen you by day time. Let this Subsidy pin your buttocks to your home sofa.

4. Disappearance of long, tiring queues at filling stations. Needless to say this- the era of ‘rich’ people with just N6000 shouting ‘fill up’ and wasting the precious time of other serious fuel buyers queueing behind them has come to an abrupt halt. ‘Fill up’ fire. Just buy 20liters and leave quietly.

5. There will be a clear dichotomy between the rich and the pseudo-rich. Let us know ourselves by ourselves. How can you because you can afford N86 per liter go and buy a used Primera without the era and be dragging rich man/car owner with us? Go and buy a bicycle or a motorcycle. It is until the advent of rain that the motorcyclist will know he doesn’t belong to the class of the rich vehicle owner.

6. The era of noisy overnight ‘I better pass my neighbour generator owners’ has finally come to an end. Let me see you buy costly PMS to power your generator and leave it on overnight to disturb my rarified sleep and watch If I won’t call EFCC and ICPC to be on your trail. Askor…

7. There is a golden opportunity to inflate the price of your goods and services under the Subsidy removal template. Even things not remotely connected to fuel. Tell your customers the fuel hike or Subsidy removal has affected the price of your locust beans. Let them argue with Kachikwu.

8. There is creation of several job opportunities with the Subsidy removal. They include Facebook journalists, unsolicited economic advisers and black market sellers…

9. Body fitness is enabled. With increase in fuel price, lazy Nigerians are forced to exercise by using their legs.

10. All you people abusing itinerant herdsmen, the joke is on you. Now, your trekking continues…

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